To really not like my teenage daughters sometimes

[Twogirlsandme]

Sometimes I just really don’t like them. That’s it really. I do t like their behaviour, I don’t like their attitude and sometimes I wish they would just go away (temporarily...kind of!)

As a ex nanny I find a lot of mothers that can’t handle their teen daughters. Interestingly I never saw any of the ghastly behaviour the mums think is happening,
Teens were stroppy but only about pretty standard stuff that you’d be worried if they weren’t asking. Lovely to strangers,friends and family but happy to put siblings in their place,p.
Yes pretty messy, but to be fair tidying up is incredibly dull and needs to be done on a regular basis. Not great when you’re a take it as it comes teen. Why not leave it to someone who cares...like parents.

My DD is 13/almost 14. I confess that just occasionally recently I am actually pleased that her father left me for another woman. Purely because we have a 50/50 arrangement which means that she's elsewhere half the time. I promise only a few times I've thought that!

When I was a teenager I remember my mum saying to me ''I love you, but right now I don't like you!''. As a mum of teenagers I now understand entirely what she meant.

My 16 year old dd is just a breath of vile air. She talks to me like shit unless she wants money or a lift, she's rude and unbelievably lazy. She has a bin in her room yet she'll still throw her tissues in the floor and if I find one more piece of mouldy fruit stuffed down the side of the car door I shall leave it on her bed.
And the entitlement is something else.

Ampero, these girls are fabulous at being perfectly nice when outside eyes, like a nanny, is watching, but absolutely horrible when outsiders aren't watching.

Stop blaming mothers

My 17 year old has been a complete nightmare outside of this house since 13...constant friend dramas, got caught shoplifting at 14, constant bunking in Year 11, failed all exams, string of unsuitable boyfriends...she is now pregnant at 17. However, she has always been an absolute delight at home, loveliest girl to me and her little brothers and she's honestly my best friend. Funny old things, teen girls.

Thank you all so much for sharing.

Another one who completely gets where you are coming from. My daughter is 13 in 2 months and it was like she changed overnight from December I'd say. She was a lovely loving girl. And now the bad attitude and it's so hard too talk to her. It's like anything and everything annoys her 😫. I so miss my daughter lol. I hope she returns when she's a bit older 🤞. I also think mobiles,iPads,gaming has a lot to do with it. Take them off them and they don't know what to do with themselves. It's sad. Obviously didn't have all that and social media when I was at school.

Ah you are all wrong, so wrong

When I was 16 I knew absolutely everything, don’t be telling me about stuff you know nothing about. I’m so mature , I don’t need you.

Thankfully we all, hopefully, grow out of it but it’s not easy times for anyone

DD1 was a massive cow in her teens, aided and abetted by XH who undermined me at every verse end. She buggered off aged just 17 to the other end of the country and only really grew up when she had a child of her own. She's mostly okay now, but I am still a bit wary of her.

DD2 could also be a bit of a cow, but to be fair, I did throw out XH when she was 14 and then we moved shortly afterwards, so a big upheaval. She messed up her first lot of highers, but did pull her socks up for her second attempt and got her uni place and grew up overnight. Oh there were still the odd strops, but she became a lovely, generous young woman that I am extremely proud of.

Hang in there, OP. There will eventually be light at the end of this long, dark tunnel you're in.

I think part of the problem is that most parents don't realise quickly enough that their sons and daughters aren't children exactly any more - and, it happens in the blink of an eye, so it's understandable.

That said, teenagers are meant to push back against boundaries, because that's what the teenage years are for. All you can do is adapt and, yes, to a certain extent, let go, and understand that you no longer are the parent of small children (and aren't yet the parent of adults).

I think Caroline Hirons once said that the teenage years are Vietnam for parents.

It’s not just girls! Ds18 was mostly a dream.

Ds14 kicked off this morning because the internet was slow (and of course my fault), then because the kitchen was a mess (the plates were all his and the dish washer empty waiting for him to put them in). So he stormed off to his dads and reappeared with his dad 7 hours later, complete with an apology for being a twat and a knowing look off his dad (who he had obviously complained too, then got a telling off for his behaviour towards me, and was told to apologise). He then apologised again before bed. I liked bedtime ds, I hated morning ds.

Can’t wait until he grows out of it!

These posts are great from survivors of teens and those on the starting line.
I still remember been a teen so clearly, my hormone burst truly effected my MH, I was definitely the hardest of 4DC, it was a horrible time of confusion and rage.
Adolescent years have been proven to be the most stressful peroid your life.
I hope when my DC are teens, I can silently squeal in a cushion.
It must be so much harder today 24 hour social media to worry about.

Great thread, I needed this tonight!! We will survive!

I blame almost all of it on social media.

One of my teenagers (13) is a total arsehole at the moment. I avoid him whenever I can.

Oh hell yes 😩

Though after a hellish few weeks, she's behaving really nicely at the moment - I should probably be nervous 👀

Mine is a sod because she never breaks the rules, won't swear at me etc, but my god she has a viscous tongue. She studies psychology & she psychoanalyse me & tears me to shreds. Part of wants to strangle her & throw her off the pier 😆 whilst another part of me is in awe of how sharp she is & well she can argue a point. Let's face it they are going to need it, it's a tough world out there

We're they're punch bags for whatever shite they have thrown at them in life though as were where they feel safest & unfortunately they are under a ton of stress, everything from friendship & boyfriend trouble,where they gut in, body image & then the massive pressure of GCSEs.

But some days 😩😩😩😩😩

I like the time of day DCs.

Mine has health problems, so she needs a lot of help in the morning & she's still sleepy for ages & is much more her old sweet self.

First in after school DD can go one of 2 ways, she's burnt out from the day, collapses when she gets in & sleeps, or she's stressed & ready to explore at any minute. I can usually manage it by giving her some space, but some days even offering her a needed snack can set her off & god forbid you ask about school 😏

Mid evening just woke up DD, with homework to do DD is an anxious volatile nightmare 😐

Give your head a wobble Ampero 😂

My DD is sweetness & Light to everyone else & she deliberately turns on the charm when her dad gets home, just to rub her bad attitude to me in further. I hear friends teens are the same, especially the girl. The people they feel safest with that are the ones that get the grief from them

It's what teens do🤷🏼‍♀️

My older dd is 19 now. She moved out last October when she started uni.
To make you feel better and to highlight that they change. I got this text from her yesterday:

guess it was just a weird adjustment going from being really laid back and u guys doing everything for me to having to manage my laziness i guess and do stuff😂x

My mum had a tough time with me at that age. I didn't like her and she didn't like me. We still loved each other but we fought a lot and there wasn't a lot of common ground and I massively underappreciated her. I disappointed her a lot as I had been a really sweet child but a bad teen. We get on brilliantly as adults. Hang in there xx

So glad to have found this thread! My DD is only 10 but is certainly under a cloud of hormones. She can be vile. It has really taken me by surprise as she has always been the sweetest, most loving child. I felt so loved and lucky to have her.

I was so concerned about the change in her that I rang her school to make sure she wasn't being as hideous there as she is at home.

To my delight/annoyance she is a model pupil. Happy, smiling and a pleasure to teach. And also talks about me a lot and is very complementary!

So I'm just an embarrassment/ too stupid to understand/ worst mom ever, at home them?!

Yes, two DDs here. They can be so lovely, and I know they love me, but they can be oh so unkind and cutting too. Polite and popular with teachers and friends, but with us???? I’m telling myself it’s normal, and as long as they continue to do well at school, and avoid the pitfalls of drugs etc. it’s ok. Feel like a rubbish parent though sometimes.

I love the old joke - “when I was 14/15 my parents knew nothing. They’ve learnt such a lot about everything in the last 5/6 years”

My dd will be 14 in the summer. She's certainly very different from how she was 18 months ago, and can be stroppy and tricky at times, but she's mostly fine (so far). Most of her strops seem to be directer at school stuff (though she is a good student). I was a very easy, even-tempered teen myself, so I'm not best placed to empathise with the teenage angst!