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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you cant "make DS gay"

127 replies

TwittleBee · 01/03/2019 12:00

I am still really pissed off from a conversation with DH this morning…

It all started because we were talking about things our parents done for us as kids, e.g. my mum put on a pamper evening and dad used to take us to Blockbusters once a month

Anyway DH then said he couldn’t wait for boys evening with DS (okay fair enough that is lovely, some quality DH and Ds time) but when I then said ooo yeah and we could have pamper evenings too (nothing wring with relaxing and taking care of yourself right?) DH then flipped and said I was determined to make our DS gay?!

Calmly I stated that you cant make someone gay and pointed out that nothing my parents done made me bi!

Anyway, I am sure you can imagine how the rest of the conversation went… not well… DH said I am introducing him to that world and pushing him in that direction already by letting him play with my make up whilst I get ready!

Anyway, DH is BU right? And even if DS did turn out gay then why should it even matter to DH! I am honestly feeling very shocked by DH reaction.

OP posts:
GregoryPeckingDuck · 01/03/2019 16:33

Does he realose that gay men generally don’t wear wear make up? Just like straight men.

DarthLipgloss · 03/03/2019 13:36

He sounds awful. Your poor kids if they are gay. Me and DP are both bi, however we both hate pampering..the thing that made us a bit gay was the shagging of same sex partners..

JohnWicksDog · 03/03/2019 15:46

I can't believe people still think like this. It's idiotic.

Confusedbeetle · 03/03/2019 15:53

I would have the conversation about how would he feel if your son was gay? As he may well be with or without pampering, I cant think of any worse pastime than pampering

MulticolourMophead · 03/03/2019 16:21

My DS, aged 15, might be gay. He says he isn't interested in anyone yet which may be true as he's dealng with depression as a result of us living with his dad (now my ex). DS didn't bother with pampering when younger, as Ex was scathing about it. He does now take care with his hygiene, face scrubs, moisturising, etc, but I can't ever see this as "turning " him one way or another.

I will love him whoever he chooses to date. My ex, however, is homophobic and racist, and would likely go off the deep end if DS were gay. I told DS I have his back completely, though, and he knows this is true. He talks to me a lot and I feel priviledged he trusts me.

Ex will likely be clutching his pearls when he finds out DD has a boyfriend, one who isn't white........... (but who is a lovely, considerate person).

I do recall seeing something online that younger DCs are more likely to be gay. Don't know how true this is, though.

notahiker · 03/03/2019 17:33

My teenage son has pamper evenings with his girlfriend. He's not gay.

Usually using my products !

headinhands · 04/03/2019 09:29

As a woman I've done loads of man things. I replaced a part in my shower and changed light switches and shit like that. I'm helplessly straight.

EmpressAdultHumanFemale · 04/03/2019 09:45

I’d be concerned as to whether your DS might think his dad would prefer a trans daughter to a gay / feminine son.

BarbarianMum · 04/03/2019 09:45

So what if he is gay? Does your arse of a husband think that you cant have a "boys night" with a gay man?

Booboostwo · 04/03/2019 10:03

If I were you i'd be worried I've married and had a child with such an idiot. How come you didn't know he was such an idiot before you married him?

outpinked · 04/03/2019 10:04

Sounds like an ignorant backwards homophobe, sorry that this is your husband Sad.

Being gay isn’t determined by how many face packs you applied as a child, what strange thinking.

sashh · 04/03/2019 10:07

Buy him (son) a Kings X Steelers kit

www.fentonsportsonline.com/rugby/350-kings-cross-steelers

sailorsdelight · 04/03/2019 10:28

It’s your DH’s attitude that’s the problem - he clearly thinks that being gay is a bad thing which is homophobic. And is being an arse. What you choose to do with your one on one time with your DS will have absolutely no affect in his sexuality.

sailorsdelight · 04/03/2019 10:29

Some of the ‘butchest’ guys I know are gay - rugby playing, sports obsessed, beer drinking gay boys.

TheFaerieQueene · 04/03/2019 10:32

Of course you can’t make someone gay. The bigger question is what is wrong with being gay?
Your husband sounds vile tbh. I’m sorry.

4TeensAndABaby · 04/03/2019 11:20

Your DH sounds like my ex DH.....

He thinks that painting DS nails will 'turn him gay', pretending to do his makeup (when his 4 sisters or myself are doing ours) will turn him gay, doing ballet will turn him gay, oh, and skipping will turn him gay Angry

So we do all of the above, and more. Quite frankly I couldn't give a stuff if he was gay anyway. Two of his sisters are gay. They are who they are, and I will love them unconditionally. As for ex DH.........well........there's a reason he's an ex.

rattusrattus20 · 04/03/2019 11:29

it's certainly to make a boy effeminate or girly or whatever through mollycoddling, i've seen it myself but, sadly for your DH, there's nothing on earth, from electroconvulsion therapy downwards, that can be done to change a person's sexual orientation.

trancepants · 04/03/2019 11:35

You can't make a child gay (fucking obviously) but you can create a family environment in which a child who grows up to realise they are gay never has one instant of doubt or worry about how you will react when they tell you.

Lacypants · 04/03/2019 11:38

Does your husband understand that being gay is about liking cock, not facemasks?

BingLiveisRubbish · 05/03/2019 17:51

*did

Gatouttahell · 05/03/2019 21:16

Your husband is a twat.

THEsonofaBITCH · 06/03/2019 11:08

I do recall seeing something online that younger DCs are more likely to be gay. Don't know how true this is, though
The more older male children the more likely the next child is to be gay. There is a strong proven correlation between number of older male siblings and likelihood of homosexuality of the next child - obviously not a perfect correlation of "1" but strong enough to eliminate chance and other factors. In a family of 5 boys, the odds that the youngest is gay is very high but still not 100%, which is why there is acceptance that sexual orientation is generally determined in the womb not due to environment once born - though trauma can change things up. The odds that a first born is gay is very low, but again not 0%.

THEsonofaBITCH · 06/03/2019 11:20

And because someone is bound to ask, here is just one of the studies reported, there are more which confirm the findings:
edition.cnn.com/2017/12/11/health/men-older-brothers-gay-study/index.html

MyBreadIsEggy · 06/03/2019 11:28

Oh for goodness sake Hmm I truly believe your sexuality is just a part of your brain make up - if you are gay, you are born that way. It’s not determined by your environment!
I have a DD and a DS. DD has always been an all rounder when it comes to toys etc, but in the last year she has started gravitating towards what would be considered more “girly” things, ie princesses, dressing up in fancy dresses, playing hair salons etc with no outside influence from me or DH - we just let her crack on with whatever she wants to do.
As a result of this, her younger brother (who is 2) just wants to play with her! He isn’t bothered about “girls things” or “boys things” he’s just happy to be playing with his sister. She dressed him up in a tiara and plastic princess shoes the other week, and he toddled in, proud as punch and DH said “go take those shoes off” Hmm I saracastically respknded with “Quick!! Get the pink shoes of him! He might catch gay off them!!” Shock DH soon realised her sounded like a prize twat and now just let’s DS crack on with being his sister’s dress up dolly as long as he is happy!

Movingtoplanetclanger · 06/03/2019 11:58

Let me guess he thought you being bi was 'sexy' when you met him?

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