To be this worried about my son's absence?

[Sowing747]

My DS15 is in Y10 and has mocks coming up shortly.

He is bright, sporty and organised, but his absences this academic year have really stacked up and his average is currently 92%. In a recent school talk we were told that, although 95% minimum was acceptable officially, it should be higher when you get to Y10 if you want to do ok.

He spent most of yesterday evening working on three homework assignments then apparently slept really badly and was in a right state this morning, so he's off today.

He wants to start a monthly gym membership and I'd like to say it will have to wait until he can get his attendance up to 97%. On the other hand, going to the gym regularly gives structure to his week and is a great stress reliever (although he also plays rugby three times a week).

AIBU to postpone this gym membership?

Why on earth did you let him have the day off today?

Well you have your answer, right?

It's nearly 11am now, he can be in school for 12.

If he's on devices after 11pm, confiscate them at bed time. Screw whatever rules his friends claim to have.

How long do you think any of us would last in a job if we called in sick because we hadn't slept very well?

His future employers aren't going to be sympathetic to "won't be in today, don't feel totally rested", being tired is no reason to not go in unless he literally got no sleep due to illness or something.

My DC are 17 and 15. We have an app which switches off the 15 yo's apps at 9.30pm (and at any point in fact that we think it would be better to get her off SM). The 17yo has never really used his past that time anyway, on a school night anyway.

They have no gaming stuff in their room. The PlayStation is in the living room.

He's 15. He surely doesn't get the say whether he goes or not? It's high school, not college/uni. The onus is on you to still get his arse up and out the house.
Tough love and all that if he complains or resists.

You’re being ridiculous. Send him into school now before more damage is done.

He needs to get himself to school you can't stay off because you slept badly! He only needs to make it to 3pm!

You are enabling your son by letting him stay home when he had a bad night's sleep. The solution to his low attendance is staring you in the face, go upstairs wake him up and send him to school. You are also choosing to ignore answering this question when the majority of posters are bringing it up.

He can't take a day off school because he slept badly! Did you tell him that? You are sounding a bit wishy washy....

What exactly does "in a right state" mean? Because tiredness/ grumpiness and stress due to lack of sleep is no excuse on a Friday (!its literally one day and he can sleep all of Saturday to catch up if he likes!)

Frankly I don't understand the scenario where you are allowing him tools School because he's tired!

You let him take the day off school because he is tired? Seriously? He is not going to fair well in the job market if that is his attitude so you are doing him no favours.

Tools School- To stay off school

Bloody autocorrect

I would definitely go back to removing the devices. What does he do when he stays off school? I would take away devices then too and ban gaming - make it boring for him.

Either you're pandering to him and letting have days off for no good reason or there's an underlying reason for him not wanting to go in.

The only time tiredness has influenced a decision to send my child to school was if they had been ill overnight ie at the tail end of a chest infection. Children who suddenly got better by 10 am where sent to school.

In my opinion, I would remove devices at night and when meant to be working all the way through to the last GCSE exam in y11.GCSEs are too critical to let lack of self-regulation screw them up.

Honestly? I’d go back to your old rules. Being tired isn’t an excuse (on it’s own) to not attend school.
Mine are a couple of years older. No TV in bedrooms anyway but the agreement has always been that phones and laptops are put on charge in the kitchen when they go to bed. At almost adult age they automatically do this.
If they challenged me about this now, especially given their age, I’d have to relent really but I figure it’s doing them the world of good so have left it.

Canvas parents of children the same age

OP it sounds like you mean "ask other people so I get the answer I want".

Allowing him to stay off for sleeping badly? Fucking ridiculous!!

If you allow him the time off for tiredness, how will he learn from his mistake?

You let your 15 year old play on devices and watch screens past 10 at night? because 'everyone else does'??

That is actually really really sad. I honestly despair - how are kids going to get the sleep they need to become functioning achieving adults if they develop a habit of using tablets etc late at night.

Of course he can't manage it himself - they are addictive devises designed to make you never ever want to turn them off. They are literally created by people to take your sons sleep away.

Please stop the devices at night if you want him to have any sort of life.

You are enabling him.

My Y10 DD went to bed too late last night (imo) and was a bit tired this morning - so I shouted at her a bit more forcefully to get out of bed. If you let him sleep off the tiredness during the day, he'll never learn that he needs to sleep properly. And I take devices away - I'm forever being told that "everyone else" does/doesn't do various things but I'm hardened to it now!