Vanity fair article about Kate Middleton

[NCforthisoneb]

"She is said to find the constant clothes changes (up to five a day if the itinerary includes shooting, tea, and a formal dinner) and the omnipresence of a full household staff rather stressful,"

Now I am quite fond of Kate Middy but AIBU to have snorted very loudly at this sentence?

Oh to have such a stressful life!

Parts of her life seem fabulous to us but come with many strictures, no matter how gilded. Not really worth swapping for, IMO. I should imagine Sandringham Xmas is pretty stressful, it's a stage managed performance and the staff and the rest of the RF are a preview audience of critics. Imagine not really having any privacy, because the staff see everything. I'd find that really, really stressful!

We all know who you mean but why is the Duchess of Cambridge referred to by her maiden name?

What IS her married surname? Windsor? Wales?

As a republican, I refuse to call her Duchess of Anything, it's a bloody anachronistic load of old twaddle.

That writer has been watching a bit too much Downton Abbey

Yes she chose her life but don't we all?

I chose my job, it doesn't mean I don’t hate it sometimes.
I chose to be a mother but I am often tired, irritable and stressed as a result.
Should I never complain?

I have read about the five changes of outfit being required for Christmas Day at Sandringham.

If it's true, and I see no reason to doubt it, then it sounds like one of my many ideas of hell. I can see why a formal outfit is needed to go to church, as that is on view to the public. The rest of the day isn't though, so I would personally just change into comfortable stuff on return and stay in that to slob about for the rest of the day.

I like the royal family, but do think that sort of thing is the over the top bullshit that may well have to change. I see no need at all for five outfits for the day. Two at most.

YABU.

I would HATE their life. I don't see them as privileged, well materially privileged, but not in any other way. They have so little autonomy and control over their lives - have to spend their days visiting people doing real and meaningful work whilst they are just the onlookers, have no privacy - no even in their own home if they are permanently staffed.

My life is pretty crap at the moment, but I still wouldn't swap.

I'm not anti-royals, but the argument against the monarchy I have no answer to is that it is not fair on the poor buggers born into it. Prince Charles and Prince Harry's struggles with accepting their weird and controlled lives are well documented.

And who wants to change clothes 5 times a day, especially when the media and public pores over what you wear?

@NCforthisoneb

Taken out of context, your quote means nothing.

Maybe she said it with a grin? Maybe she didn't mean it to be taken seriously?

Or, maybe it wasn't about clothes at all- they are the trappings- maybe it was about having to be at 5 events in a day and on show, looking happy.

Money and servants don't equal happiness. (There is a cut off point (around £50K pa in the research) which shows that once you have a comfortable life, the extra money does not make you happier.)

I think too many people are so jealous of anyone with more money than they are, they fail to see beyond that.

Catherine married into the job. Yes she knew what it would mean, she does it the best she can, but that doesn't mean she enjoys it, or it's her natural 'home' being in the public eye.

Just like the Duke of Edinburgh- he married into the job. The Queen evidently wishes she were a simple country woman living with her animals. But she had no choice.

Clothes, jewels, palaces, servants, holidays- do not make you happy though they take away the stress of earning.

But on balance, it's a shitty life being in the public eye unless you are a prima donna and enjoy that kind of attention and I'd not want it for a moment.

I feel sorry for her, having to live her life under that kind of scrutiny. Ok, she has a lovely life and lots of blessings, but the downsides must be hard going.

Even things like little normal childhood moments must be hard to come by - we went to our local library one evening this week, took a load of books out then went to a cafe nearby for cake and hot chocolate then sat reading our books for half an hour of peace after swim club. How could she ever do that with her lifestyle? Those little moments of normality must be pretty hard to orchestrate, yet they're the moments I cherish most.

Not sure I'd swap, because the pressure must always be there on her shoulders to not drop the baton of looking lovely, sounding lovely and parenting perfectly. Imagine the Daily Mail reader's faces if she ever muttered "what the fucking fuck" in the car on the school run when a small child throws it's book bag out the window as she's reversing down the drive.

She seems to have a goodish balance. Apart from the odd pic of her walking in Kensington Gardens or at the supermarket. At least she CAN do that.

One thing her mother in law didn’t have to deal with was trolling and social media - hundreds of phones in her face instead of handshakes or being filmed by members of the public for any tiny spontaneous comment to be on the internet forever etc. I do think she gets more privacy most of the time but now the public are the paps and they HAVE to meet them.

It’s weird to think that Prince Louis will be the equivalent of Prince Edward one day. Miles from the throne, and barely any attention.

Clothes, jewels, palaces, servants, holidays- do not make you happy

But she doesn't have those things and a miserable life. She has those things AND lots of great things that money can't buy. The Middleton's appear to be a very close, happy family. She appears happily married to William and has three lovely children. She's very lucky.

Even things like little normal childhood moments must be hard to come by - we went to our local library one evening this week, took a load of books out then went to a cafe nearby for cake and hot chocolate then sat reading our books for half an hour of peace after swim club. How could she ever do that with her lifestyle? Those little moments of normality must be pretty hard to orchestrate, yet they're the moments I cherish most.

I agree with this. DD is just toddling about, and this week spent 20 minutes feeling the leaves on the hedge outside our front door and chatting to herself. It was my favourite thing all week! Now imagine that in the background is the steady click of the camera...

Obviously there are incredible benefits to her position, but for me it's very much "gilded cage".

Well she did choose the life, no one made her marry William.

About the only thing I envy about being a Royal is never having to worry about money. There is absolutely nothing else to envy in my view. She always has to look good, always has to smile and look happy even though I am sure there are days when she isn't.

She has to meet strangers all the time and be interested in them (or pretend to be) again always smiling. She is scrutinised to the tiniest degree by the press and ripped to shreds if they or the public think she is too thin, too fat, her clothes are too expensive etc.

Her and William can't just decide to go out to the cinema, theatre or a local restaurant can they?

I would absolutely hate her life and all the money in the world would not convince me to choose it

I agree with this. DD is just toddling about, and this week spent 20 minutes feeling the leaves on the hedge outside our front door and chatting to herself. It was my favourite thing all week! Now imagine that in the background is the steady click of the camera.

But you could just as easily describe a magical childhood moment and say now imagine that in the background is the worry about paying your mortgage, your waiting time for an operation, wondering what school your DC will be allocated and wondering if you'll have time to clean the bathroom before you go to bed.

I think it must be awful AND stressful. Like you're always "on show" can't have a personal or private conversation in your own home because of staff who might overhear. Dreadful. People think having staff must be great, to do the work maybe, but constantly in your house - no way!

To pp saying "she chose that life"

I guess you never, ever, EVER, say you find your job/family situation/holiday packing/school runs/study stressful, do you. After all. You chose it...

Everyone has aspect of life which are so, so stressful. But when S*n and the likes get into a hysteria over every grey hair, lack of a smile for a moment which must mean "there is a massive rift in a family! Grumpy Kate pics inside" even though it's just that you just literally gave your face muscles 5 second break.

It's the same like with bullies mils/fils/sils/bils etc. There are so many women and men here on MN who love their husbands and wifes and so chose to stay with them even though it's stressful.
Doesn't mean they don't have a right to moan about the stress.

It's her job.

I find it tone deaf to complain about this. I could sympathise with worrying that her children are in the public eye and with safety concerns about the and her family, but she's complaining about that, she's unhappy about having to wear too many clothes and too attentive staff. I do suppose it's a problem for her, but it does come with the job.

I also feel sorry for her staff, they are doing their job and now someone is complaining about it.

I hope she finds diamond shoes that fit.

But she doesn't have those things and a miserable life

I didn't say she was miserable. You are conflating things.
I said all the money in the world does not make someone happy.

I said she has a right to envy women who have ordinary lives and not be under scrutiny.

In context, this quote was about Christmas at Sandringham. I don't even get changed once on Christmas day- jeans a T shirt for me.

Having to change 5 times - it's not the changing that's the issue, it's the events (for the dim posters who can't see that) where you are expected to join in stuff you possibly hate and just want to be with your DH and kids, and not all the cousins, aunts, in laws. What a bloody nightmare!

I have friends who are multi millionaires and could buy themselves pretty much anything. Some of them are the unhappiest and most miserable people out there.

Londonbelongs Really? He'd have to be daft to do that....it wouldn't do the image much good, and I think after the Charles/Diana/ Camiknickers thing, the public wouldn't be too impressed. I would hope that the Duchess would kick his arse into touch to boot. She doesn't strike me as being someone who would put up with it.

@ChardonnaysPrettySister

And the empathy gong goes to you!!!

Have you ever had a job you didn't like and left it?

She can't leave hers, ever.

SoupDragon’s right - not only is she always on show, it’s forever. Kate will never not be photographed, scrutinised, criticised. And imagine giving birth and knowing that’ll be the case for your children too :( It must be like a lifelong marathon, awful. You’d only ever get breaks, but never actually get to live normally again - think I’d have a breakdown just considering it! Plus the fear of weirdos doing something awful - ISIS members had discussed harming little George :( Makes me shudder :( At best it’d be like living on The Truman Show, ugh!

I said she has a right to envy women who have ordinary lives and not be under scrutiny

And do you think ordinary women have the right to envy her?

I have a job I find stressful and I can't leave it because I need the money.
It doesn't involve too many clothes and staff.

Sorry, I think she's being tone deaf.

She was absolutely determined to "bag" William and must have known a great deal about Royal life before he married. Pointless to moan about it now. Sowing and reaping?!

MN is absolutely full of posts from people who chose to marry bloke X (with MIL Y), have N children, go into teaching etc etc who are now gently moaning about certain unpleasant but foreseeable consequences of those life choices, in search of a little empathy about the downsides of their basically OK life. If I went onto every such thread and told them”why did you have children if you weren’t happy to deal with D&V/nits/GCSEs?” then I’d be banned in an hour.

That would be quite stressful though. Her children’s position and quite probably her relationship with her husband and in laws depends on her having this kind of lifestyle. It’s not like she does it because she wants to.

I think that people often fail to realise that stress is relative to expectations. We’ve had a lot of people telling us we’re beong ridiculous for getting stressed over school fees we can’t really afford (and the knock on effect this has on our finances in general) when we could just stick our children in a state school for free. They then go on to moan about how much more stressful their rent woes and difficulty paying bills is than our identical problems. It’s not any less stressful for us just because we have more to loose.