Is this a red flag?

[minian]

DP has made comments about outfit choices in the past. I've argued with him about it before (he uses the word 'slut' and says other comments) but he never really changes.

I'm out at the weekend and my friend helped me choose an outfit. It's a bit out of my comfort zone but I really like it and have wanted to wear it for ages.

I mentioned to my mum that I was going to bring a spare jumper or something because DP would most likely start a fight if I got home wearing it. I've attached a picture. DM has seen the outfit, said it was really cute and that it was such a red flag that that's my mindset about him.

He's told me before that the only reason past guys have slept with me is what I'm wearing (on nights out where I've been covered up but in a mesh top).

I've attached a picture that's most alike to the outfit.

Telling your partner what they can or can’t wear is a red flag, yes.

In other news, that’s not a cute outfit, it’s just going out with your shirt undone and your bra on display. Nothing wrong with that if you like it.

He's a vile misogynist and it will get worse.

Yes it's a red flag...a fucking massive one.

Yes it would be a red flag for me.

@pictish what I'd be wearing under this is more like this, not just a regular bra (although I understand your point)

Red flag +++

I don't like the outfit though, it's somewhat lacking in class.

Red flag for me too.

In other news, that’s not a cute outfit, it’s just going out with your shirt undone and your bra on display

And? Not everyone wants to dress like a frump.

Yeah, it's not good. He uses language which is derogatory to women and he thinks he has a right to control you.

🚩🚩
The hills are that way >>>>>>>>>>
Run op, run away as fast as you can

It depends on the outfit and your body shape ... Some clothes look better on some people but horrendous on others.
Are you a religious household?
Personally ... I think showing flesh is a late teen early twenties / uni lifestyle thing ... When you caned use it on the fact of being young and fashion peer pressure.

2 red flags. Telling you what to wear and trying to dismantle your self-esteem with "He's told me before that the only reason past guys have slept with me is what I'm wearing".

He's a prick and you can do do much better.

@Hayden555 definitely not a religious household, and I'm a late teen!

Personally ... I think showing flesh is a late teen early twenties / uni lifestyle thing

Lots of horrible, rude, judgmental people on this thread.

Wear what the fuck you want.

@formerbabe that's my attitude. I think anyone should wear whatever they feel confident or happy about themselves in!!! The root of the arguments is that DP thinks women base their outfit choices on how much attention they want from men and I think that's a ridiculously sexist attitude!

One’s OH starting fights about what you wear, you taking along a jumper to keep him quiet ... not good signs. Incidentally, If you can get away with that outfit - good for you.

I can't imagine wanting to spend any time with someone who uses the word slut...

Having to modify any of your behaviour incase he gets mad is a red flag.

The hills are that way >>>>>>>>>>>>>run!

Those looks are lovely. Nothing wrong with them. Your partner is a vile misogynist, and you need to run for the hills. Don't live your life with this man. He will have you as his personal servant, barefoot and pregnant, and make-up free within 3-5 years. RUN!

Yes I agree op. The actual outfit is irrelevant. You should be able to wear what you want with worrying about him starting a fight with you.

I think it's a very short jump from 'men only slept with you because you were dressed like a slut' to 'she was asking for it - look what she was wearing.' For that, his attitude is awful and I'd be running far and fast.

Beside that, trying to change what you wear is controlling.

He's also got you to the point you're considering bringing a second jumper to cover up - you're changing your behaviour to avoid a row. The path that leads you down ends up with you being able to say and do very little because you don't want to upset him.

As PPs have said, Red Flags 🚩 everywhere. Listen to your mum and Run run run

Sounds like your Mum is wise to what a prick he is.

Wear your incredibly cold lovely outfit and feel good in it. I'd say take a jumper because I think hypothermia isn't very glam but I'm old and fat, but he really is a pointless waste of oxygen, isn't he?

@MitziK thank you! I'm just hoping we are in pubs most of the night rather than outside

Please leave this man immediately before he dismantles more of your self esteem. It takes years to unpick the damage done by a partner like this, even if you know he's in the wrong now it will still seep in.

Thanks everyone for your opinions. Think they're all pretty much the same so at least I know I'm not being unreasonable!

I like the outfit! Go for it and yes it's a massive red flag! X

@loveskaka thank you!