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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To resent how long my OH spends on poo-time?

118 replies

Motherbemused · 27/02/2019 20:14

Honestly, I can have the dishwasher emptied and restacked, kitchen cleaned, a wash on, and most of the living area tidied in the time it takes my OH to emerge from the toilet of a Saturday* morning.

Should I consider this time a 'me-time' privilege that must remain sacred, and accept it (bearing in mind we have a 4 month old, and a house to clean; I don't require extra time for Number 2's), or say something?

*Extra time only used at weekends - he doesn't have it during working week on account of getting up at last possible moment.

OP posts:

Bananasarenottheonlyfruit · 27/02/2019 21:51

My DH is the same. But tops it off by coming out making satisfied sighing noises. Just so we all get to know just what a great shit he has had.

StarlaP · 27/02/2019 21:54

Blinking heck I do all this by the time the other half wakes up in the morning. He does take forever on the bog though, I remember catching up with a whole Christmas episode of Dr. Who during one of his toilet breaks.

MsMustDoBetter · 27/02/2019 21:55

Oh yes and DH has to be naked too.

Is it primitive instinctual behaviour I wonder?

Tilikum · 27/02/2019 21:57

I heard that men don't have the 'pushing' muscles down there that women have, so yes, they just sit down and wait for it to fall out by itself.

BuildAParsnip · 27/02/2019 22:02

And they do it just as obviously (proudly?) when we have friends/ family visiting.

BuildAParsnip · 27/02/2019 22:02

tilikum what??

Pilgit · 27/02/2019 22:06

Get him a squattie pottie. Gets you in a better position so you take less time on the loo and it all comes out at once. Look it up on you tube - the advert is amazing!

Cruddles · 27/02/2019 22:15

So most women find most men do this, do you not think it's just part of being a man? If you had a mens version of mumsnet there'd probably be lots of comments about how long women take to get dressed. Just accept it, if there's child minding issues then park the baby in with them. If there's chores then wait until he's done before starting them

gambaspilpil · 27/02/2019 22:15

Its just another blag by men to avoid doing anything that involves housework or looking after Dc. I used to sit in the toilet for an hour when I was younger as I was reading a book. Then I had DC and its no longer the case....OH seems to have to do half hour poos in the morning, whilst I have to deal with getting the DC up and have done two train drop offs before he gets off the loo. Then he has his coffee and cig in the garden. I have told him that I am not the hired help. So he better sort himself out or he will be out. Cant abide lazy men and when he is away life is so much simpler as I dont get frustrated by some lazy man child who thinks spending an hour in the loo is necessary . Oh and I am a mother of three boys and none of them spend hours trying to squeeze a poo out so it s all bullshit that they cant push

Phineyj · 27/02/2019 22:19

Hmm, I don't think the anatomy of the back end is that different? I have a theory the extended pooing developed when sheds declined in popularity.

ememem84 · 27/02/2019 22:21

Dh does this. Used to be every Sunday. Then I clocked that he was taking his phone or laptop in with him.

I started doing the same recently. Taking phone hot cup of tea a book and a cushion into the bathroom for 30 minutes and locked the door. No pooing. Just sitting. And chilling.

Apparently not on.

Since I told him I’d be doing the same and he couldn’t use “having a big poo” as an excuse to get out of stuff amazingly he’s needed less big poos or is doing them at work

caringcarer · 27/02/2019 22:28

I must admit I rush into the loo before my dh every morning just in case he is going to be in there ages having his poo. I think it is just a man's way of having a sneaky 20 mins time off.

penisbeakers · 27/02/2019 22:31

...they could also be doing something else that's not taking a dump, especially if they have a phone or tablet in their with them.

Haworthia · 27/02/2019 22:36

Whenever my husband decides to absent himself from family life at weekends, I send our 7yo upstairs yelling “I need the toilet Daddy!”

Only one bathroom y’see.

Aroundtheworldandback · 27/02/2019 22:40

Mine watches whole dvd’s. We recently went away somewhere cold and the toolset seats were heated. I’m surprised we ever got out.

MaMaMaMySharona · 27/02/2019 22:41

Surely if you turn the WiFi off your phone just uses 3G/4G instead? —misses point of thread—

ChesterGreySideboard · 27/02/2019 22:46

My DH spends 20 minutes shitting, but we don’t have dc so it’s not quite as annoying as it could be.

My ex wouldn’t leave the house in the morning until he had had a poo, no matter how long that took.

CheshireChat · 27/02/2019 22:48

MaMaMaMySharona he normally takes his iPad.

DP isn't as bad now, but anyway like a PP we only have one bathroom and our 4 yo cheerfully turfs anyone out. Or he sits in front of the bathroom door chatting

SmarmyMrMime · 27/02/2019 22:55

My DSs already seem to be mastering the art of poocrastination. Their favoured timeslot is bed time

It is endlessly pointed out to them that they can finish and wipe then return if a sequel is needed; you don't have to sit there for ages just in case.

BarbaraofSevillle · 28/02/2019 07:07

I don't know what the marathon pooing sessions are about, but it is so weird

It's called hiding from domestic and child related responsibilities.

OP when he's finished, hand him the baby and go and spend the same amount of time doing what you want in peace. Every single time. If you don't want to sit in the bathroom that he's spent the last 45 minutes stinking up, sit in the car, cafe, go for a walk or whatever.

madcatladyforever · 28/02/2019 07:13

I used to get irate about this stuff, let's face it ALL men seem to spend ridiculous amounts of time on the toilet.
It ended up with me getting divorced because of irritation about our differences and there is no doubt that men and women are a different species.
Me and exDH are currently thinking about getting back together as neither of us fancies retiring alone, we haven't found anyone else and we still get on but something has to give and I've dicided I'm going to start this process by ignoring irritating man things like long poos and fingerprints on the light switches. Life is too short.
That isn't to say your irritation about this doesn't matter. I know more than anyone how these things can chip away at a relationship until it's gone.

madcatladyforever · 28/02/2019 07:14

poocrastination

Lol

Feb2018mumma · 28/02/2019 07:16

I thought my husband was going to get piles becuase he took forever when we first had our baby! I go when I need one and can't imagine sitting trying to squeeze something out! It is a way to have a break I think. I've told my husband to take up running and now he is getting a break his poo time has drastically decreased!

billybagpuss · 28/02/2019 07:20

I never understood why some people have a bookshelf in the toilet! never wanted to browse the books as you never know where their hands have been first.

Weenurse · 28/02/2019 07:21

Mine wais until everyone is ready to walk out the door and/or already sitting in the car, when he announces that he needs to poo!

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