18 & 27 year old?

[theure]

A friend of mine is 18 and is dating a 27 year old.

I find this a bit weird and looking for opinions as to whether I'm just being ridiculous and having too many opinions?
Would anyone else consider this a bit strange? Or is it socially acceptable after someone's 18?

The oy reason I think it's a bit weird potentially is because at 18, whilst LEGALLY an adult, they might still be in secondary school, getting an allowance off their parents whom they're fully financially reliant on etc and there's really very little difference at that age from 16 or 17.

I think once they're out of school, working, at a uni etc they grow up and become emotionally adults too. Which might be at or before 18 before everyone starts with the I lived alone working 6 jobs at 14 routine.

So I think that scho would be my deal breaker age wise

2 adults on relatively equal footing is not strange, but it is unlikely that an 18 and 27 year old would be. If they are, then the 27 year old is likely behind enough that I would worry.

An 18 year old is likely to still be completing his or her education, not already advancing in a career.

A

I wouldn’t like it if it was my dd.

Half your age +7 is usually ok. 27 divide by2=13.5+7=20. So she is a bit young, but it's not hideous.

To be honest when I was 18, I briefly dated a man I met at my summer job who was about 26 or so? He had a good job where we worked versus my summer role & he was really nice and I think had fairly good intentions despite my age versus his. However (as we were in the States) when he took me out, we couldn’t go to bars etc as I was underage to drink as I was under 21. It was awkward. Despite my obvious charms he saw his way to someone more his own age as I was just a very young person in comparison.

hm what would they hav e in common-i just find it odd unless shes really mature

my cousin went o9ut wiht a 30 year old at 17 i always thought it was creepy

I was 19 when I met my now DH, who was 34 at the time

Only.in mumsnet land will most 18yr old still in school, many will be at college,some will be in work ,some will be doing an apprentice, some may even be parents themselves .

I think it's not the end of the world but wouldn't personally date a teenager when I was in my late twenties.The gap is the same as me and my DH and we met when I was 21.

I would think it a bit odd, but I would keep schtum.

I might not like it if it were my son/daughter, but I wouldn’t tell them so.

I knew a couple of similar ages, he (the older one) is an immature twit and they broke up.

Have you hit 34 yet Trixie? Could you imagine (if you were single) being involved with a 19 year old?

When I was 19 I was going out with a guy who was 31. Can't say it ever caused any problems.

Always chuckle at the 'age is just a number' comments. It really isn't a lot, if not most, of the time
As has already been stressed, it isn't the gap, it's the age of the youngest. A mid twenties or older person with a teen is just off. The teen usually defends the relationship as they lack the maturity and/or life experience to recognise an unhealthy relationship.
All of the anecdata that pops up with these kinds of posts generally mean nothing in light of the above. A 'lasting' relationship beginning when the couple is 16,17,18 and 28.29.30 or whatever is really no indication that it is a 'good' one.

I would roll my eyes, as it's yet another man dating a much younger women and not really caring if he has anything in common with her.

Secretly roll them that is, as it's perfectly fine really and not my business.

Its interesting because I feel like the age difference is much more noticeable by the older partner. My partner is 12 years older and I don't think of the age difference, we are pretty much on the same level conversation and interest wise. However one day I realised that when I talk to people 12 years younger than myself, it's clear we are from different generations, and that's the way DP probably feels talking to me! It was a bit disturbing. I thought we were having these nice conversations but I must sound so immature to him.

And if it was a women dating a younger guy, I'd roll my eyes even more as taking in to account mens relative immaturity, the age gap would be equilivant to about 25 years. Again, secretly, as it's fine and not my business.

Although it's legal and everything I must admit I'd be slightly concerned if my 18 year old was dating a 27 year old. I think it's because on the whole 18yr olds are 'younger' than me and my friends were at that age due to the fact that they are nearly always still in full time education and still living at home so haven't really had much life experience. Saying that your friend may be a mature 18yr old in which case I wouldn't be so worried.

Legally speaking it's fine, but socially speaking there's a certain power imbalance between 18 and 27 which has potential to be concerning. For me it would depend entirely on the specific people. Is the 18 year old particularly mature and independent? Is the 27 year old gentle and respectful?

I have a school friend who got together with her 9 years older husband at 17. People weren't happy about it then but 15 years later they're still blissfully happy and a wonderful couple. It CAN be okay, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't quietly be on the look out for worrying behaviours and be there to support your friend just in case. In the meantime I would keep my nose out of it in order to be there still, should she need me down the line.

azulmariposa
We have a 9+ year age gap. I never noticed it at 18, 28, 38 and so on, but I really do notice it now that DH is pushing 70 and I am 60.

When I was 18, I had a boyfriend who was 27. I was so nervous about telling my mum but her attitude was very much “you’re both adults”.

A year later I had a new boyfriend with the same age gap and over a decade later, he’s now my husband.

It sounds like a big gap when you’re older looking back on it but it wasn’t noticeable at the time

18 year olds are legally adult but plenty will still be very immature.

I think I would have laughed my head off if a 27 year old friend dated a teenager.

However, depends very much on the individuals concerned as they are both legally adults.

I can see where you are coming from as an 18 year old is very different to 27 year old in maturity, life/ relationship experiences and what stage of their career they are. I'm fairly normal 29 yo and have nothing in common with under 25s. I suppose he may he immature or her mature for her age but I think it may cause some issues

I started dating a 29 year old I met at work when I was 18. We're still together, now married with 3 kids. Stay out of it.

'A 'friend' of yours eh?

Oh FGS, not another one of these!

@theure Are you an 18 year old who has some ridiculous fantasy about you dating Louis Tomlinson? Or Charlie Puth? Or some other 27 y.o. celeb?

We had a ridiculous thread on here earlier where a woman of 21 as talking about dating a 56 y.o. man. And it turned out to be a bloody celebrity who she will never even meet.

Pathetic.