People who can't accept that you don't love the things they do.

[ChickeningOut]

AIBU to be annoyed when people refuse to accept that something isn't for me?

A friend adores camping and is going on a camping holiday with a small group later in the year. I said how lovely. Have a wonderful time. She says you should come with us. I said you know camping isn't my thing but I'm looking forward to hearing about it. Cue a long rant/speech about the joys of camping and how wonderful it is and that I shouldn't let my first experience put me off.

I had the same when I read a book that a friend recommended which I didn't love but said it was an interesting read. This resulted in another conversation practically demanding that I admit how wrong I was.

Does anyone else know someone like this?

So when they start whinging about the cold, turn it round on them and accuse them of being miserable

It doesn't work, they still think you are wrong.

Do you remember last year? Someone started a thread for those of us who were hating the summer, it was hijacked by heat lovers.

ChickeningOut yep, she thought she had 'got' me when I went to South America, I pointed out it would be winter there and she sulked.

The same friend claimed to hate BBQs, I couldn't understand this as he loves burgers and sausages.

Then I experienced his mother's BBQ. Forget any notions of a nice relaxed afternoon eating what ever is cooked and then drinking until the next thing is ready.

Nope, apparently you get the BBQ as hot as possible and put all the meat on, no feeling for where is hottest, nope just shove it all on.

Once it is crispy on the outside and raw inside you then put it all in the oven to complete the process of turning it into hot cardboard.

Then the table is put outside complete with place settings and tablecloth, everyone sits down and my friend's mother then puts out platters of cardboard meat, bread, salad and some ketchup.

Everyone eats for 15 mins before it is cleared away.

My friend insists I would really like Jeremy Corbyn if I made an effort. So now this thread addresses sex, camping and Jeremy Corbyn (and probably lots more, but I haven’t RTFT).

I work with a woman who is obsessed with Disney to the point nearly everything she owns has Disney on it. She gets so offended if you tell her you don't like a film or can't see the appeal of Mickey mouse (she won't talk to the person who said that). She also thinks I'm a weird mum for never taking my children to Disney Land. We weren't even talking about that at the time just that they had never been abroad and she turned it to being Disney related.

I hate game of thrones. Everyone insists I must love it because they do. I've tried watching it about 4 times, I've managed to get to episode 4 now before falling asleep. Even by episode 4 I still didn't care or know what was going on, it's so boring. It's like watching towie.

I don't care that 'it gets better' in season 2, it shouldn't suck that much in season 1. It is also essentially porn with a bad storyline, and what I found out later to be incest.

For the record, I do also hate camping. A holiday that involves me building my accommodation and sleeping on the ground is not fun. It's cold, it's dirty, it's not fun.

And cruises are just evil. It might be alright if you could guarantee that some knob head wouldn't come aboard with sickness, but you know one bastard is going to. And they lovingly spread it through the whole ship.

I’m fairly convinced that it’s a personality disorder

That's interesting - my mother (who for many other reasons I believe has a personality disorder) does this. When I was a teenager it was.murder because she would insist on "girls' days out" where we would go shopping and get lunch and it would be a great mother/daughter bonding exercise, except that my mother and I have completely different taste in clothes and she's a nutter, so when we went to the shops she would hold things up for me and I'd say "It's nice but not for me", "I wouldn't know how to wear it", "you know who that would look great on? [not me]" for as long as I could until I either found some clothes I liked that she would let me buy, or else I would have to choose between going home with a bunch of clothes I hated or making her so angry that she'd give up on the girls' day out and drag me out of the shops, fingers digging into my arm, growling about how ungrateful I was and that any normal girl would have liked all of those clothes and what did I think was wrong with me etc. She seemed to take it personally on behalf of the clothes. I think that "everything is done at me" and the black and white thinking (it's either a nice cardigan or a horrible cardigan) are really typical hallmarks of a PD (along with not being able to suck it up and say "well I don't care if this person is being totally unreasonable, I'm still going to be nice and have a nice day out" sort of thing.

at the PP upthread who wrote an essay informing us all about the joys of camping during all the different stages of her life.

The irony!

I thought that giraffe she just did exactly what the op was complaining about

Lifecraft I would have hoped the statement carried abit more nuance obviously not. I'll try everything once except Russian roulette. Glad to clear it up :)

I KNEW this was about camping. What is it with campers? I don't get this with anybody else, nobody is passionately trying to convince me to go on a coach/train/bike/boat tour, package holiday, cruise, spin-the-globe-see-where -you-end-up holiday etc, if you tell them it's not your thing. But campers! You MUST like it, you just haven't done it right.
Why? Do you get some loyalty points if you drag other people out to sleep in tents or something?

Lifecraft I would have hoped the statement carried abit more nuance obviously not. I'll try everything once except Russian roulette. Glad to clear it up

Ooo...you should try tightrope walking over Niagra falls without a safety net. It's brill....trust me on this.

Yea it was funnier the first time

Giraffetower grin at the PP upthread who wrote an essay informing us all about the joys of camping during all the different stages of her life

The irony!

Today 08:33 MsTSwift

I thought that giraffe she just did exactly what the op was complaining about grin

Laugh at me all you like 🤷🏻‍♀️

It was long, but so were others posts. It discussed my love of camping as other have stated their love or hate of it. You weren’t forced to read it.

But to point out the obvious....I was answering the question I quoted. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t, but it clearly quoted the question that was asked.

Sorry if you can’t keep up with things 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s too funny. Have a laugh at yourself!

Now have I told you about home exchange let me fill you in - pull up a chair you MUST do it....

I would never go camping, went once when I was a kid on a family holiday & once with guides & still have nightmares about it. That's why we bought a touring caravan, it's more civilised to me, no sleeping on the floor, proper heating & hot water & I can plug in my straighteners. I know there are thousands of people who love camping, but it's not for me.

toomuchtooold

Oh my god my mum does this with clothes. I've started being blunt with her.

She will hold up a piece of clothing that she likes and go 'what do you think of this, do you like it?' and ill say 'no but if you like it, buy it, it's not me wearing it'.

She used to buy me clothes for Christmas, but after getting tons of clothes I hated, I banned her. No point buying something I hate and won't use, and she refuses to learn what I do like so why bother?

I know what she likes and buy accordingly (its easy if i hate it she'll likely love it).

If we’re honest, I think we’re all like this to some extent, but over different things. I don’t understand people who don’t drink tea or coffee, but I understand people who don’t like camping even if i think it’s quite nice myself

MuseumofInnocence

Haha you wouldn't like me I don't drink tea, coffee or even alcohol. I confuse the hell out of people, it's like they run out of options then and are stumped.

People who don't like fucking cats can't understand that fucking cats love people who don't like fucking cats. I've got a few friends who don't like fucking cats. My fucking cat is absolutely guaranteed to suss them out and then settle down on their fucking knee, fucking purring!

This is SO true. I am very allergic to cats. Cats KNOW this. The sneaky little bastards can sense it, and rub themselves up against me out of pure spite. The rest of my family is not allergic and they get totally ignored.

YADNBU, OP. Some take it a step further, even, and go straight to using words like "childish", "ridiculous", or "stupid" with regards to your choices. Really outstanding behaviour.

What is it with campers? I don't get this with anybody else

Fucking skiing. I know a couple of ardent skiers who just can't believe that if I were to just spend 500 euros on kit and spend the next three seasons in fucking lessons I wouldn't eventually come to love it, even though I don't like snow, going fast, or sports where you have to balance. DH is just after tearing his ACL skiing, he was on crutches for two weeks, couldn't drive, physio twice a week and in a month he has to go and have an operation that will take about another 6 weeks to recover from to the point where he can do everyday stuff again, certain sports are out until like September... I'm like, tell me again how I'm missing out.

The really annoying thing was that after the accident he was like "you're right about skiing, you know" - what? All I'm right about is that I don't want to, it's not like it's some position that I've taken on skiing and I now judge skiers for being wrong about it. They're trying to make me be the same way about skiing as they are - if you like it then everyone else has to and vice versa.

We were sucked into camping by people who loved camping. They insisted that we would love it. I was very much a 5 star hotel kind of girl but they wore us down and insisted we borrow their kit for a weekend just to see if we liked it.

Half an hour after getting the tent set up we noticed we hadn't been bothered by either child ( 5 and 3 at the time) for about an hour. They were happily making friends at the play park opposite our tent.

We drank our red wine and looked at each other in disbelief. Had the most relaxing weekend since we'd had the kids.

Went home and spent about £1k on our own kit. Probably spent about another £2k since then. More if you count the gigantic car we've had to buy. It's an expensive hobby.

We do seem to spend a lot of time justifying ourselves to non campers who can't understand why we love it.

We still have the 5 star holidays in winter and spring but for us June to September is camping season and will be until the kids decide it's no longer their favourite holiday.

Now my idea of hell is an all inclusive holiday. We've done two after being persuaded by other people. After we didn't enjoy the first one they said it was because the resort only had one restaurant. Just come back from a resort with four restaurants - still hated it and won't ever do all inc again. Give me a private villa or apartment near a lovely beach and I'm happy.

AngelsWithSilverWings

Yes, people keep telling us we will love all inclusive abroad, even dp wants to do it but I know for a fact I will absolutely hate it. I like quiet holidays away from people. Why people keep insisting it will be cheaper than our holiday to a cottage in Yorkshire aswell, are lying.

It's funny, some things mentioned on this thread I love, some I can take or leave, and some I hate.

I know that some I love are things that DH hates. But DD loves some of them, so we do them together sometimes and not involve him, but involve him in other things instead.

There is something I hate that DD and DH both love, so they go off and do that, while leaving me at home to potter, bake, bathe, sleep.....whatever. (Although DD sometimes does try to make me feel guilty for not doing it - I don't though!).

Some things I like, or even love, but to the limits of my own boundaries (comfort, ability, stress etc) and do not want others trying to persuade me, for example, to go black diamond or off-piste skiing when I am quite happy on blue or green, and even just messing around on nursery slopes some days.

Some things it is about getting lessons and having proper kit and knowing what you are doing and doing it at the right time (camping in a farmer's field with a chemical toilet in the middle of a summer rain storm is not fun - but warmer sunnier climes, decent kit and a site with proper toilets kept clean on a regular basis is a very different matter). Some things are purely about my personal inclination or fitness levels or comfort levels (I am not at all fit, so I can climb mountains on a hill walking trip all day long, but only climbing on ropes for a short while, and I collapse wheezing after 300m if I try running so that's not a good idea either). And I am very happy on the water in a rib (power boat) or rowing, but I only like sailing in relatively light winds as I am not yet confident about it - it's not about falling in, I'm always wet and clumsy, it's about knowing what to do before there's a problem and sailing needs such fast reactions that it's not yet intuitive.

NOBODY can like EVERYTHING.

And EVERYBODY is allowed to like SOMETHINGS.

It's just that EVERYBODY ELSE needs to realise that BOTH those last 2 sentences are true, at one and the same time!

I'm perfectly happy to let other people knock themselves out with their preferences as long as they leave me alone. I like camping well enough, for example, but I watch next to no television and have no interest in sport. So last summer's interminable men's football season was incredibly tiresome - people having absolute tantrums if you expressed a lack of interest in watching men chase balls about in fields, or mild irritation at having your longstanding plans fucked up because other people were determined to watch men chase balls on the telly.

I also agree with PP that its perfectly possible to know you will dislike something without having tried that particular thing. If you are clumsy, nervous of heights and hate being cold, ski-ing is not going to be fun. If sexism makes you furious, then you won't find a sexist comedian funny.

I have one son who loves dogs, wants nothing more than to have a dog, would probably be asked to be reincarnated as a dog if he could. I have another son who fears dogs, cries at the thought of being forced to share his home with a dog, would probably eradicate dogs from existence if it was up to him. My dog loving son cannot get his head around the fact that some other people really don't like and don't want to be with dogs. The number of scenes he's created by forcing his brother to look at pictures of puppies and so on... he just doesn't get it, at all. And that seems to go for most dog lovers. They find it incomprehensible that their love of dogs is not shared.

Mind you, I do find it very weird if I meet someone who never reads. I can't really see how you can dislike all reading. It unsettles me.