People who can't accept that you don't love the things they do.

[ChickeningOut]

AIBU to be annoyed when people refuse to accept that something isn't for me?

A friend adores camping and is going on a camping holiday with a small group later in the year. I said how lovely. Have a wonderful time. She says you should come with us. I said you know camping isn't my thing but I'm looking forward to hearing about it. Cue a long rant/speech about the joys of camping and how wonderful it is and that I shouldn't let my first experience put me off.

I had the same when I read a book that a friend recommended which I didn't love but said it was an interesting read. This resulted in another conversation practically demanding that I admit how wrong I was.

Does anyone else know someone like this?

Marielvanarkle - another genuine interest of mine is stand up comedy I've even written a few routines which have gone down well but I am a crap deliverer/performer. While at uni I did a couple of assignments popular culture related inc looking at comedy and analysing (which of course takes the fun right out of it 😂😂😂)

It does amuse me that even now lay people are oblivious to how much work goes into tours and scripts, 90 minutes of standup generally reflects about a YEAR of full time work, usually about 60 hour weeks! - researching, writing, honing, trying out on audiences (yes there's "trial shows" even)

People don't truly realise comedy is incredibly hard to write and while I don't find certain shows/comedians personally make me laugh I would NEVER undermine the work involved.

One of my favourites is Michael McIntyre who a lot of people seem to think is a very casual, laid back comedian. Well he might be as a person but he's not in terms of the work. He studied other comedians and comic writers for years before he even ventured onto stage himself, he's analysed variety entertainment programmes and he listens to those who've been making them for years. It may SEEM effortless but that's the skill, the talent, making something bloody hard look easy.

I'm also a huge George Michael fan (RIP) he too was written off as a "boy band" "bubblegum pop star" at first, yet from an early age he researched and analysed lyrics, musical composition, taught himself to play instruments, taught himself production (partly out of frustration as nobody seemed able to produce the effect he was looking for on certain tracks), analysed which top of the pops and other performances were successful and which weren't and why...

...yet he too appeared "effortless" in his musicianship and performance skills.

I think it's a real shame we still don't truly value artists in all areas of media and the work they do, not only because of the hard work but it's a profitable industry and yet our govt still doesn't recognise this. We have highly skilled artists, musicians, technicians, directors etc going and working elsewhere because they're not supported here. Any govt of any colour who genuinely wants to improve Britain's fortunes I strongly feel could start by being far more supportive of the performing arts and all those working in them.

Sorry bit of an essay/rant there.

"how can they argue with that?" Oh believe me there are those that can!

"I've tried it but I didn't like it. We are all different" how can they argue with that?

They can't Fishwife - but they do!

Trust me - THEY VERY DO!!!!! grin

Sigh. Some grown adults are just like 3-year-olds with their as-yet very small world. They assume that everybody knows about and likes Paw Patrol or Peppa Pig (excitedly asking adults without kids who their favourite character is) and will automatically refer to 'Miss Johnson' when engaging with other adults or children and it won't cross their minds to say "My nursery teacher, Miss Johnson" to people who've never met or heard of her before. This is normal: they're 3.

Some people are willing to accept that we ARE all different (have different names, ages, physical features etc), but just cannot understand or entertain the idea that we often LIKE (or dislike) different things.

Sometimes, they are able to accommodate a narrow range of choices but nothing more. As a PP said, if they offer you a tea or coffee, a red or white wine, a cocktail or a beer (depending on the context), they're fine with whichever you choose, but if you politely decline them all and ask if you could just have a Coke or glass of water, you've rocked their world and they just can't compute. They then demand to know why you don't want a hot or alcoholic drink, that you justify your reasoning and unless it's something unequivocal like being pregnant or driving (in the case of booze), they will tell you that your reasoning is bad and urge you to change your mind, like it matters in any way to them. They'd rather you have a drink that you might hate rather than brook any notion that your mundane preferences might diverge from theirs.

@Graphista

You're absolutely right about the huge amount of work that goes into crafting apparently effortless comedy.

I forget which comedian it was, but one that we saw made a very valid comment, albeit in a jovial manner. If a comedian does a joke or touches on any material that they've ever used before in their career, people heckle, complain and feel short-changed. However, if they go and see a band and the band doesn't play the same big hits that they've been playing non-stop for the last 30+ years, people will still complain!

You even get some odd people who will go to more than one date/location on a comedian's tour (absolutely fine if you loved it and want to laugh all over again) - and feel cheated that it's exactly the same show apart from maybe a minute or two's banter with the audience that differs. They wouldn't go and see a West-End show again and expect a whole load of new songs; or watch Titanic again and be shocked that it still sinks this time.

Yea people don't understand the many months of writing and honing not just the words, but the timing and the order of the routine.

And yes to audiences expecting music artists to play the SAME songs for decades. I've an uncle and aunt who were session musicians and heard how frustrated the main artists got with not being allowed by fans to move on from their peak period. Plus it gets bloody boring playing the same songs for DECADES.

Board games. Everyone tells me I should love them. I can't think of anything worse than a couple of hours playing a 'strategy style' board game. Similarly chess - no way. Tried it and I just find it tedious.

Oh yes Doris - board games, chess, card games - an evening spent playing any of them is my idea of hell.

Another one here Doris. There are exactly TWO board games I enjoy; Trivial Pursuit and Sorry. Both have a beginning and an end, don't take long, and don't really need strategy to play/win.

The rest of board games are, frankly, boring. Who wants to have to think and work that hard to 'have fun'.

Although I do enjoy an evening of poker. But the people I play with all pretty much suck at it, aren't competitive, and we don't use real money. Mostly it's an excuse to sit around a table and drink and eat snacks.

I'd LOVE to learn to play poker. It fascinates me not just the game itself but the psychological aspects. I can play pontoon and gin though rarely get the chance and I play solitaire on the phone a lot (helps me switch off if having trouble sleeping set at a really easy level when I stop winning I know I'm tired enough to sleep)

Board games some I don't mind (trivial, scrabble, frustration, draughts even chess (though I'm no great player) others I find interminably boring (monopoly, risk)

But again I don't understand those people who basically try and bully people into playing.

Also people who love dancing, insisting that you are totally mistaken in believing that you don't want to dance.

No, I hate dancing. I would rather play board games. Really!

Also people who love dancing, insisting that you are totally mistaken in believing that you don't want to dance.

Oh God, this. The number of times I’ve been having a perfectly nice time at a party, just sitting talking to someone and the party girl comes over to actually drag me up by the arm as I should be dancing. I don’t like dancing, I’m happy where I am. They get most offended when you tell them to fuck off.

I feel a little sorry for the campers now. I didn't mean to pick on them, but that's just the most recent example though I've also had the cruise, skiing and GOT fanatics pressure me.

I agree that people who refuse to try anything simply because it's popular and who refuse to accept that people can enjoy something that they hate are equally annoying.

Sympathy to those who are also suffering from fanatic friends, colleagues and family members.

DH has gone skiing for the day with his best mate. He even (pointedly) said "I expect

My DH & DS are going skiing over Christmas*, I have been on many skiing holidays, I don’t like it, it’s a huge waste of money for me to go just for ‘apres ski’, I am genuinely really looking forward to being ‘home alone’ at Christmas (I have elderly parents I can host on the actual day). People are treating me as though as I am being abandoned, they just can’t admit that I have chosen not to go skiing and to spend Christmas alone (I can’t wait ).

*There are genuine reasons why they can only go Christmas week. And yes I do get a holiday of my choice as well.

[People are treating me as though as I am being abandoned]

This made me think of another one,
being alone.

Dh often works away and lots of people sympathize! Lots of ‘oh I couldn’t breath,eat,sleep without dh, we haven’t slept apart in XX years’
I’m as happy as a lark on my own, love dh but love my own company too.

Agree Whoops, I am also very happy with my own company, I genuinely love being on my own but if I mention DH is away on a long business trip I get loads of invitations or suggestions of ‘how to keep busy’, I don’t need any ideas, I am very happy.

But I have a dear friend who can’t bear to be on her own, despite a high powered job, four children, elderly relatives to care for etc etc ... she still organises every minute of her life so that she is never ‘alone’.