Seeing DC for the first time

[amrscot]

What is that feeling like when you see your DC for the first time?

My mind can't actually comprehend it and I can't imagine what it's going to feel like when I do finally give birth!

I'm dying to know what he's going to look like 😍

First thought was

"Wtf! How did you come out of me?"

Because I'm so pale I'm nearly transparent, red headed Celt, dds dad - very dark olive skin, almond eyes, black curly hair and she was the absolute spit of him! Plus she was REALLY hairy! Looked nothing like me at all to the point mil was able to joke "well we know who the dad is who's the mum?" (I got on well with mil it wasn't a dig at all it was an obvious joke)

I was not expecting that! which makes me a fucking idiot cos I do actually know how genetics work

Then I yelled at dds dad to go with her (we were both very poorly and I didn't want her in scbu alone and he was being indecisive)

Then I passed out so it was a good thing ex wasn't there as he'd have flapped/panicked. Eventually I was sorted and on the ward.

What didn't surprise us even though the little bugger never let the sonographer see and supposed "signs" of "boy" (how I carried etc) was that she was a girl, it was like we just knew as soon as I was pregnant it was a girl. We didn't even have a boy name picked out, but we had a girl name we loved and when ex came to see me on ward he said it suited her perfectly (we had a couple of other half hearted shortlisted ones) and it still does.

She's a long streak of 18 yo now (😱I know don't get me started still getting my head round that one!) and STILL looks like her bloody father! Albeit a slimmer, much more feminine, attractive version 😂

I split from him when she was 2 and it is quite disconcerting when certain ticks or facial expressions that are pure ex appear!

She's got my talent for quick sarcasm though - I just have to remind her I've nearly 30 years more practice than her though 😉

Codenameduchess I had a similar experience kept getting told she was small and my big bump was "all water" 9lb sodding 5oz she was! Small my arse!

Bianca - you are not and were not an awful mother! Birth is a huge thing to go through physically and mentally and bodies and minds can do odd things sometimes

I felt like I had met my soulmate. I genuinely did. And then I thought heeeelllllp! I've taken too many drugs, I can't hold him AND be wheeled off down the ward in a bed with no sides!!

1. Oh my god. He's so ugly.
2. Oh shit. He looks just like my FIL and I've been asked if I want to feed him immediately.... 🤔🙄
3. I always wanted a girl. Why do I love this wrinkly ugly little ball bag sooo much??? 😍😍😍

I couldn't stop looking at him. I'd had a horrific birth (shoulder dystocia, don't look it up...) and I was exhausted, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was bruised from the birth, and had a very red face (they wrote 'red face' in his notes ) but he was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen.

Oh wow, she's looks like she's been sunning herself on the beach! - she was jaundiced, very calm and looked very rested (despite 36hr labour - maybe all the drugs helped!) , and she was about 10 days late and looked like she was about 1 or 2wks old right away!

With both dc my first thoughts were centred around practicalities.

Get him breathing, lots of bottoms slaps and vigorous back rubs as he had inhaled some meconium. It was a good few minutes in before someone said ‘he’ and I twigged I had a ds. Then it was try not to make too much mess whilst transferring onto a bed for stitching.

With my second, I was focussed on not dropping her as she was exceptionally slippy and I was again trying to get back into bed whilst not getting tangled up with the umbilical cord.

Both times It was only once calm was restored hours later and we were alone together that I could really enjoy all the wonder and awe stuff.

#1 - you look absolutely nothing like I was expecting. Shock, exhaustion, overwhelmed.

#2 - you look just like you're brother and thank god that's all over, now let's get home (it was 2 days before Xmas)

#3 - ah here you are. You've completed us. Full on love.

I think I'm going to miss feeling him move inside me when he's finally beee

Here*

With DC 1 I just stared at him still high off the gas and air and I can just remember H saying "omg look at the size of his hands" about 4 times.

DC 2 I'm ashamed to say I said ooo look at his hair ( he had loads of dark hair) and then I moved blanket to look at his face and said to H "omg he's a bit funny looking" !!
He was covered in all the white stuff and looked really angry and grumpy! He was so beautiful 3 hours later though haha

Best moment ever, enjoy!

I was gutted that I didn't get that big rush of hormonal love so many women report.
I remember thinking ,is that it , I'm mum.
I went through the motions really for a few months until it felt right and I started to love her.
I was an olderum so didn't panic when bonding want immediate but I was lucky in having whaty GP called a very contented baby,her father was supportive as I got to know her and I could afford to take 8 months maternity leave(I think it was £400a month then).

With DS, it was a general sense of shock and that he was about 50% bigger than I'd been expecting (he was 10lb 1oz). With DD, it was instant recognition- "there you are, I've been waiting for you".

My first words were "I am so sorry" I just sobbed and then she was whisked away.

I just felt so responsible for her coming early. I felt it was my fault she was struggling and my fault if she didn't make it. My fault that I only managed to have 1 dose of steriods to help bring her lungs on.

I got to meet her again later on that day and just continued to sob. We took it day by day but we eventually got her home.

I still carry that guilt.

She is fine now, albeit not very affectionate so I embrace every single cuddle she honours me with .

Not just that he looked like an alien...but as they placed this wriggly red creature on my front, that kept trying to lift his head:

"Ooh, it's just like that John Hurt scene in Alien"

I replay that moment all the time and they are 10 & 12. So precious. I remember just looking at DD neither regions first to find out what she was! My DS we sneakily new he was a boy just DP & I, I just said I love you and was besotted 😍

I had a section, there was a second before he cried and when I heard that it was the most overwhelming thing, all the air left my body and I just groaned, it was so primal. Then they lifted him over and I was like holy shit that's a baby! Then he needed bits and pieces doing so I didn't get to hold him for half an hour or so but I was just content that he was there and safe with us.

Oh and I've never had that 'oh it's you' thing. I knew I loved him very much but it took us a while to get to know each other. You're all fingers and thumbs at the start too. That's when you realise the experienced mothers you know are fucking machines when it comes to whipping nappies off and on, making bottles and so on.

DC1 - I was dazed after a day of labour and pain. It felt surreal. I was suddenly in the moment, in the room. But I didn't feel a rush of love. I was strangely wired but content, despite having not slept and spent most of the night just looking at him.

DC2 - I mostly remember being annoyed with the MW who didn't understand that "I want my baby passed to me straight away" did actually mean just that, not after she'd faffed around weighing her etc. I had to be assertive and then she did hand her over.

I don't remember much more until being on the ward.

Dd1 first thing was 'im going to be sick can I swop her for a sick bowl', followed by DH saying ' oo-she's ginger' and me saying 'well I'm Not putting her back'

DTs - 'gosh there really are 2' and when asked if I wanted to hold them while I was stitched up after cs I said not really as DH was doing just fine and I knew it was my last moments of peace for a very very long time !!

With my first, it was more "my god she is dirty andcouvered in crap, can we bath her" followed by "She's gorgeous" and "Why is my DH crying?"
With my second the only thing I remember was him being her and enjoying hold him and cuddling him while they decided what exactly needed stitching. Once I was all stitched and he had been weighed and had a hat and blanket, I remember thinking, that he didn't look as perfect as his daughter did, but I adored him anyway.

The moment I saw them I loved them instantaneously. Drive me bloody crazy sometimes but I still feel that rush of love decades later. Most amazing feeling in the world.

Iamgoingtobehonestwithyou

How old is she now? DS didn't cuddle at all when he was little - only when he was doing a poo in his nappy! I had to make do with that!

But somehow along the way he did become affectionate, I can't remember exactly when but he's a very affectionate boy now, so you never know, she may change her feelings towards cuddles with time...

@amrscot I get phantom kicks every now and then in the exact spot ds used to kick (until he was so big i could feel him in my pelvis and ribs and sides all at once!)

I don't really remember. I had an emcs after 24 hours of no progression and was knackered. I remember the dr saying they thouhh hed be about 10lbs (he was 8 11!) And them laughing because ds grabbed one of the drs scrubs, it seemed like hours before he cried, I think I held my breath. I think I vaguely remember him being lifted over the curtain at us and me looking at my husband, but I'm not sure if I just remember it from them photos. I'd had the forethought to ask as I was being wheeled into theatre if a nurse would mind taking pictures of ds being born so i have from just his head being out all the way through to our reaction shots and I'm so glad I have those.

With my first it was no surprise,I felt like I had seen him before and already new exactly what he was going to look like. With the second I was a bit shocked when he came out bald 😂

1. Oh my god, her beautiful little face! Er, what just happened down there? (vaginal birth with episiotomy and ventouse)

1. Oh my god, did I actually just push that baby out by myself and catch her with my own hands? There was a moment when I actually thought she was stuck in there. Ooh, she's delicious. I want to sniff her head. (vaginal water birth at home -- planned)