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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being precious?

100 replies

Onthedowns · 22/02/2019 21:08

DD is nearly 7 wanting her ears pierced, she did last year then changed her mind. My SIL said she would pay for her bday I said ok but if poss I would like to come also I didn’t want DD to go to Claire’s but a local piercer.

Today my DD comes home and says SIL took her aside for a chat and said she will take her just them without mummy and daddy and if she wants to go to Claire’s she can maybe next weekend.

SIL has her own younger children and has a bee in her bonnet about taking DD for some reason.

It is something I wanted to be present for and reluctant for Claire’s. DD also does school swimming etc so have to think about healing time etc. DH thinks I am overreacting .

OP posts:
Heratnumber7 · 22/02/2019 21:10

She will need her parents permission to have her ears pierced. So unless your SIL lies.....

dementedpixie · 22/02/2019 21:10

I'd tell her to butt out tbh. It's your child so she's got no reason to take your dd to get her ears pierced without you.

Luckingfovely · 22/02/2019 21:11

Absolutely your decision 100% where, when if this happens.

What do you say to SiL?

No.

No.

No.

Don't discuss it: the answer is simply that no, that is not happening.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/02/2019 21:12

Don't let her get away with this. You are the mother, not her, and her trying to do something with your child behind your back is absolutely unacceptable. I would be furious.

Beeziekn33ze · 22/02/2019 21:13

A while ago someone who pierced at Claire's posted about how little training she was given.

chillpizza · 22/02/2019 21:13

Oh my don’t use Claire’s. They even tried telling me they don’t use a gun it’s a hand powered peircing device Grin I told them I would use a local tattooist. I wasn’t even in for peircing but earnings for middle child who mentioned toddler child’s ears.

2birds1stone · 22/02/2019 21:13

Tell her to jog on. You grew, gave birth and care for that child and you will decide when she can have her ears pierced and where.

I would tell sil she can't pay to get it done but she can buy some nice earrings once it's done.

I would also be wary about letting sil having dd on her own just in case.

In my experience most men don't ever see an issue with it because they don't tend to have piercings etc so don't consider the risks or reasonings

Nanny0gg · 22/02/2019 21:14

She can't wear earings for swimming or PE Madness to do them any other time than end of summer term.

Drum2018 · 22/02/2019 21:14

SIL does not get to over ride your decision regarding ear piercing. Make sure you let her know that you are not impressed with her promising dd something which you have not agreed to.

OMGithurts · 22/02/2019 21:14

No fucking way would I be letting my child go to SIL unsupervised if I thought for one second she's be taking my kid off to fucking Claire's to have her earlobes permanently wrecked with wonky piercings.

Spotsbeforemyeyes · 22/02/2019 21:14

Absolutely not. 6 is young. It’s something you should taker to if and when the time comes.

When my Dd was 16 she got into a bit f trouble so went to stay with my adult niece for a few weeks. Whilst she was there my niece took her and let her have a tattoo across her lower tummy. I went absolutely ballistic.

macaroniandpizza · 22/02/2019 21:15

Tell her thanks but no thanks that you will be taking her yourself and if she wants she can take her children instead if shes that desperate to go get a childs ears pierced

IvanaPee · 22/02/2019 21:15

It sounds like she wanted to take dd as a special treat which I think is fine. And nice!

Have you told her why you don’t want it to be Claire’s?!

m0therofdragons · 22/02/2019 21:16

Nope no way would I let that happen. I'd want to be there and no chance I'd take dd to Claire's. Luckily dh agrees with me. But then I won't let my dc have their ears pierced until they can look after them themselves and remember to actually brush their hair. 11 is the minimum in my house.

IvanaPee · 22/02/2019 21:16

I do think she’s too young though

babysharkah · 22/02/2019 21:18

You're absolutely not being precious. She's far too young to look after them properly.

Weenurse · 22/02/2019 21:18

Had to be out of pool for weeks post piercing so we postponed until swimming break

Original poster
Onthedowns · 22/02/2019 21:18

I get the treat thing but this is something permanent to my DDs body she isn’t 100% sure regardless so I am not forcing the issue with her myself. SIL is on and MIL joins in. DH doesn’t think they are doing anything wrong. I am pretty furious she has spoken to DD behind my back today shows total disrespect .

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 22/02/2019 21:22

6 is way to young in my view, but the whole thing should not be controlled by anybody but you and your DH.

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 22/02/2019 21:25

There are loads of ways she could treat your DD that don't involve a piercing gun. You are absolutely not being precious about this, I'd be raging if my SIL said this, how are you meant to trust her with DD now?

HollowTalk · 22/02/2019 21:31

I would get in there quicker and get them done while I was with her, at a place I chose.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 22/02/2019 21:36

Tell them both that they aren't having dd alone if they are considering such fuckery. And she's not bothered, so wait till summer hol before high school. Dh would get told too.

dragonsfire · 22/02/2019 21:37

I used to manage a Claire’s the parent or guardian must go with the child and show ID to sign consent.

Tbf I actually had very good training was in Surrey so might vary regionally.

I had to pierce ears of all ages inc babies (I still cringe about it ☹️) and honestly I think under 10 is too young.

At 10 a kid is old enough to understand what they are getting and old enough to understand the care required.

Plus must have at least 6 weeks of constant care and swimming wouldn’t be good as risk of infection. So unless do start of summer holidays would be difficult with school.

So tell your sister she is welcome to take her to Claire’s to buy clip ons!!!

pictish · 22/02/2019 21:41

I would just be straight with her.
Be pleasant but tell her your dd has revealed the plan and you’re not on board with it. No to Claire’s.

Mumshappy · 22/02/2019 21:41

Claires wouldnt repierce my eldest dds years ago after they closed up when her grandma took her. Needed me to be present. Also most schools dont allow earrings during pe lessons at primary school so they need to be done over the summer break so they can be removed before pe by the child.