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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being precious?

100 replies

Onthedowns · 22/02/2019 21:08

DD is nearly 7 wanting her ears pierced, she did last year then changed her mind. My SIL said she would pay for her bday I said ok but if poss I would like to come also I didn’t want DD to go to Claire’s but a local piercer.

Today my DD comes home and says SIL took her aside for a chat and said she will take her just them without mummy and daddy and if she wants to go to Claire’s she can maybe next weekend.

SIL has her own younger children and has a bee in her bonnet about taking DD for some reason.

It is something I wanted to be present for and reluctant for Claire’s. DD also does school swimming etc so have to think about healing time etc. DH thinks I am overreacting .

OP posts:
IDoN0tCare · 22/02/2019 22:45

The problem arises if they ask your daughter for her full name and she has your husband’s. That way your sil can show I’d that will show that she has the same name. Your child will be under pressure to say nothing.

Dvg · 22/02/2019 22:45

why do people take they're kids to claires to get piercings??? They arnt even trained to do it o_0 They just have the gun.

Fresta · 22/02/2019 22:56

What's wrong with Claires? My dd had hers done there and they were great. They made sure they were even and we were happy with position before piercing. They were very clean and above board, asking for ID and paperwork beforehand etc. Also, special solution meant you can change the studs after only 3 weeks.

However, unless the child is old enough to take the earrings in and out herself then they are too young.My dd was 11.

MitziK · 22/02/2019 23:00

FFS, not Claire's.

Irrespective of the usual MN hatred of piercings, absolutely not fucking Claire's. And I'd be prepared to refuse to allow DD to be in their care at all as a result.

I have 12 piercings. The only ones that ever gave me any trouble were the ones done with a gun as a kid. The only ones that weren't done quite right were the ones done with a gun as a kid. The only ones that look wrong are the ones done with a gun as a kid. Because they were done with a gun. I wanted them, I stayed absolutely still, I looked after them - but they went in crooked and uneven because they were done by a muppet with a gun.

Just no fucking way. Not Claire's.

FrozenMargarita17 · 22/02/2019 23:00

Encouraging a child to lie to a parent is pretty shitty. I wouldn't trust her at all anymore.

Dohee · 22/02/2019 23:06

Oh so it's some weird piercing snobbery lol.

100% would recommend Claire's from our experience.

MitziK · 22/02/2019 23:07

Guns can't be properly sterlised.

Guns are much thicker and cause more damage as an inherent part of the piercing.

Guns are vulnerable to handshake, a child jumping at the sound.

The jewellery is much cheaper and prone to damaging the surrounding skin.

And, apparently, they have absolutely no fucking idea about the healing processes, if they're selling 'magic potions' to make it possible to buy any old shit earrings within three weeks when it takes up to six months for the fistula to form properly without tearing inside it by changing the piercing jewellery before time.

They're not aware that the parent's acceptance of positioning means jack shit as earlobes grow. A piercer will place them so they remain in the correct position as the person grows. Because they're the fucking expert, not the parent paying the money.

You need somebody who has served an apprenticeship and extensive experience of piercing, not somebody who applies the equivalent of a staple gun to children on Saturday afternoons.

They are also unable to offer proper aftercare if they're flogging shit when you need sterile saline to ensure there isn't an infection/proper healing takes place.

Lovingbenidorm · 22/02/2019 23:07

Isn’t it interesting the things we take from a situation and rate as important?

  1. My sil has quietly taken my 6yo to one side and promised ear piercing
  2. My sil is going behind my back and against my wishes
  3. My husband is being unsupportive and thinks I’m being unreasonable
  4. Claires
Really?
RuggerHug · 22/02/2019 23:10

Well she can't be trusted alone with DD then. No bloody way.

When she asks why, ask her if she thought she'd be ok with you taking her children away to do anything without her consent.

No no NO. This isn't about piercing, it's about lying. And def no to Claire's and a gun used.

Dohee · 22/02/2019 23:13

I think there are a lot of piercing junkies here who think they know it all.

The fact is that you should be with her, wherever you decide to go and whenever you decide to go.

Dohee · 22/02/2019 23:15

Well MitsiK, dd must have an immune system of steel then, as her ears never got infected and they are beautifully placed.

MitziK · 22/02/2019 23:16

It's not piercing snobbery. It's performing a procedure in a sterile environment under controlled conditions and following correct infection control or doing a half arsed job that potentially causes permanent damage in the front window of a store full of dust, and constant foot fall in the middle of a fucking shopping centre.

(And piercing places will refuse to allow somebody who can't prove they are the parent to give consent - conditions of licensing in most councils. Whilst it's possible that Claire's do the same and insist upon passports and birth certificates for both adults and children, I've never seen it happen when I was there buying hair things for children.)

Dohee · 22/02/2019 23:19

I think the woman who did dd's was probably a Mum herself and recognised this was a pretty big deal for us all. Dd was so proud going into school on Monday lol. Bless her.
I don't think I'd fancy some hairy tattooed biker jamming a needle into her ears!

MitziK · 22/02/2019 23:19

How old is she now? If she's under 40, they could still be out of position by up to a quarter of an inch by then.

Dohee · 22/02/2019 23:20

Everything is sterile as they take the needles out of sterile packaging.

Dohee · 22/02/2019 23:22

The woman explained to us that she had to position them in a particular place to allow for growth of the ear. I actually think she knew what she was talking about. Maybe a piercer in a previous role!

MitziK · 22/02/2019 23:22

Oh, you have no idea. You don't even feel a needle going into an earlobe. It's carrying out an elective sterile procedure, not entertaining a parent with a rite of passage.

But hey, she's been fortunate and you got your special moment.

Dohee · 22/02/2019 23:24

More importantly SHE got her special moment.

SpiritedLondon · 22/02/2019 23:25

I don't think I'd fancy some hairy tattooed biker jamming a needle into her ears!

What?!!!!!

Dohee · 22/02/2019 23:27

Horses for courses innit.

Al2O3 · 22/02/2019 23:33

Musn't let nasty sister-in lawses take daughter to needle shop,
That is nasties that is,
Not being precious,
My precious,

Claireses is good shop,
Daughter will look lovelies, not nasties

Oooh, bad shop, bad sister-in-lawsies
My precious

Lovingbenidorm · 22/02/2019 23:34

A1203 🤣!

Original poster
Onthedowns · 23/02/2019 08:08

Thanks I didn’t think I was just need to get DH to see this too

OP posts:
Original poster
Onthedowns · 23/02/2019 08:10

I have had friends with bad experiences in Claire’s. I know a very reputable piercer who said it is much less painful with a needle

OP posts:
CripsSandwiches · 23/02/2019 08:18

YANBU. You made your wishes clear. I would just take DD yourself to a local jewellers. Sil can buy a different present.