Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who’s being unreasonable.

109 replies

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 22/02/2019 18:55

For background .... I live with DP, 2 dc, Mum and my sister (14) Just has an argument with my sister because she thinks she owns the house, he’s i know typical teenager...
I’ve just finished tidying, cooking, washing up and sat down to watch some recorded tv, she gets out of the bath and says
‘Once you’ve finished your programme I’m watching YouTube on the tv (we have a smart tv). First of all as a 30 year old I’m not appreciating the tone in which she spoke with me. she can watch YouTube on her iPad. I wouldn’t mind to much but she’s literally been at home all week not gone anywhere with her friends and been watching tv all week which is why I’m so behind. so she’s gone stomping upstairs stating I’m being unreasonable and is now blaring music to try piss me off but I’ve just closed the lounge door 😊 my mum has gone out with my aunt. The funny thing is she always pulls this level of shit when my mums goes out. She does act up when my mums here but not to the extent she does the minute she walks out the door.
So tell me who’s being unreasonable..... me because I wouldn’t let her watch something she can watch elsewhere and because she’s literally hogged the tv all week or her for being a selfish little madam?

OP posts:
JasperKarat · 23/02/2019 05:19

Btw I live in the South East I'm in my early thirties, own a house with DH where we raise our DC. No deposits etc gifted, we both worked second jobs to save our deposit, and night or house before we had children. You've had more opportunity than most by living with your mum to get a foot on the ladder. Your sister shouldn't have to share her space with you your partner and two children, you didn't have to at her age.

Dippypippy1980 · 23/02/2019 07:28

OP I think most people on here are on teams little sis!!!

Can I ask a very delicate question? You seem to have no thoughts of buying or renting your own place. I assume, however, that if/when your mum passes (a long long way away I hope) the house is split between you and your sister? Will you be able to either buy her out or find somewhere to live with your half?

Also, what happens of little sis want to love at home with her family like you have? In ten years will you be ok with her partner and a couple of kids joining the household.

I know lots of adults still live at home - but you seem to be treatin* your little sis as an inconvenience rathher than an equal member of the household.

SilverBirchTree · 23/02/2019 08:12

YABU. You need to get your own place, it's ridiculous. I feel sorry for your sister having her childhood intruded upon by her 30 year old sister, plus a partner and children including one with SN. Your sister must feel lost in the chaos, I'd feel moody too.

Arguing over a TV is silly.

purplelila2 · 23/02/2019 08:25

YABU to expect respect don't know what's happened to respect your elders .

But YABU to live at home with a partner and 2 kids and your want and needs don't come before your sisters. it's her home too...

You sound like a kid ...

YABU

Brightburn · 23/02/2019 08:38

YANBU OP and a lot of MN's have missed the point of the thread from their high horses.

First of all, it is no one else's business why you live with your mother and no one should be telling you that you should be moving out. It's nothing to do with the thread.

Why you are not U...

  • Your sister has had control of the main TV ALL week. It's about time SHE learnt to share.
  • She has access to her own TV and YouTube in her own room where as you only have access to your programmes on the main TV
  • Your DS didn't ask you nicely (not because she's younger but because that's what decent people should do) if she could watch something once you finished, she demanded.
Youandwhosearmy · 23/02/2019 08:40

Why are people so weird about slightly unconventional set ups? It makes perfect sense to live multi-generationally, help on hand with childcare and elderly parent care at the other end as well as sharing expenses. I know so many older people struggling on their own and desperate for company. Of course there will be squabbles and flashpoints but that's family life whatever the set up

IGotNewRules · 23/02/2019 08:47

I think this all just seems massively petty, having an argument over the TV. Seems like it's a bit crowded. I think YABU.

Dippypippy1980 · 23/02/2019 08:59

The 30 sister has a tv in her room but can’t watch it because her partner goes to bed very early. So she wants her sister to stay in her bedroom so she can watch the main tv. And they are fighting over it.

It is all very juvenile - which is ok for the 14 year old but a bit not the 30 year old.

The 30 living at home with her family impacts the 14 year old massively. There will be advantages and disadvantages to the 14 year old of this set up - but it has completely changed her childhood and family dynamic. The 30 year old sounds self involved, entitled and childish. The 14 sounds moody and a bit spoiled.

The 14 has time to grow up, he 30 year old should have be mature enough to manage this situation. If the 30 year old wants control of the tv room when it suits her, she should get her own place.

TacoLover · 23/02/2019 09:22

You're thirty years old, (so have been working for around a decade without having to pay to run a home) had children before you could afford to house them, and now refuse to save to do so while you're living in your mother's home so you can have more holidays, days out and treats. Yet you portray your fourteen year old sister add the entitled one for wanting to watch the TV in her family home after you'd watched what you were watching?? Some self reflection might be of benefit here OP.

This sums it up perfectly.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page