Who’s being unreasonable.

[Sophisticatedsarcasm]

For background .... I live with DP, 2 dc, Mum and my sister (14) Just has an argument with my sister because she thinks she owns the house, he’s i know typical teenager...
I’ve just finished tidying, cooking, washing up and sat down to watch some recorded tv, she gets out of the bath and says
‘Once you’ve finished your programme I’m watching YouTube on the tv (we have a smart tv). First of all as a 30 year old I’m not appreciating the tone in which she spoke with me. she can watch YouTube on her iPad. I wouldn’t mind to much but she’s literally been at home all week not gone anywhere with her friends and been watching tv all week which is why I’m so behind. so she’s gone stomping upstairs stating I’m being unreasonable and is now blaring music to try piss me off but I’ve just closed the lounge door 😊 my mum has gone out with my aunt. The funny thing is she always pulls this level of shit when my mums goes out. She does act up when my mums here but not to the extent she does the minute she walks out the door.
So tell me who’s being unreasonable..... me because I wouldn’t let her watch something she can watch elsewhere and because she’s literally hogged the tv all week or her for being a selfish little madam?

Have you thought about taking your sister out? Maybe lunch or shopping, a walk? Rather than arguing about the TV?

In your own words she had been festering inside watching it every day all day. Don’t you feel bad for her? Maybe she hasn’t got any friends to hang out with? Or they are all away?

At your age you should be a better, kinder example to her, instead of sinking to pre teen behaviour.

So you and your DP earn too much for any benefits, and you live with your mum? You can definitely be saving so you can move out. If you don’t want to, you need to share with your sister.

Followed by people treating the OP as if she was 17yo and acting as a child.” Being good taking turns” fgs. You say that to a 8yo not a 30yo

You live in someone else’s house, you do have to take turns. Not the OP’s tv, not her house to dictate any rules to her sister. Don’t like to share like 8 year olds, it’s a case of get your own place where no annoying teen will interfere in Corrie, EastEnders or whatever other tripe requires a lot of ‘catching up’ on.

You’re a 30 year old who has never moved out and who just moved someone in and started having babies.

^This. So what’s the plan? Will your DSis do the same as you did and move her boyfriend in and start having babies? Or do you expect her to move out one day so you can stay in the house with your DM and with your own family after your DM dies?

Corrie, EastEnders or whatever other tripe requires a lot of ‘catching up’ on.

😂😂😂😂

@plainspeakingstraighttalking
I get what you mean...
I know there never any middle ground on here, sometimes I just write posts to see the different types of answers and posters. Yes they are real issues but I don’t actually care what people think.... it’s just an experiment so I can gauge people. I love how it goes totally off topic though. I asked who’s being unreasonable about wanting the tv and it ends up about me moving out..... if people live that shallow where a disagreement about tv which will be forgotten by tomorrow forces them to move out what society are we really living in...

And in answer to whoever asked me why haven’t we been saving. Well I want my kids to have a good childhood ( family holidays, days out, etc) I’ve seen people who literally spend all of the outgoings on living rent etc and then there kids are the ones who suffer because they never go anywhere, child poverty Is rife at the moment and I count my lucky stars that I have my mum to help us and I don’t take it for granted one bit. I never want to see my kids in any type of poverty so as long as they have a roof over their head I don’t care. I’d rather pay my mum money than a greedy landlord anyway.

Let the flaming continue....

YANBU. I would not let a 14yo dictate what was watched on tv. She doesn’t contribute towards the bills.

If she can watch it on the tablet then she should.

I was appalled recently by my friends 15yo who told her parents repeatedly to “shut up” so she could hear the TV, while they were chatting to me. I’d have sent her to her room, where she has a tv! But they just ignored it!

I had these sorts of rows that my sister when we were kids.

I think the problem is the Family lines have all been blurred by you all living together. She is your sister, not your daughter and it’s her house just as much as it is yours.

Is there’s only one tv in a house with all uses poeple??

How can the house be big enough for you all if you're fighting over the tv in one room?

God, people on here are judgy about alternative living arrangements. I've got TWO cousins in another country who moved into the self-contained flats their parents built for them within the family home (it is a bit of a mansion) and just moved their wives in and began producing babies. I have other relatives who've done similar. They all have their various quarrels, but it's intergenerational living and generally works for all concerned. If it's working for the op, her mum and (sort of) her DSis then it's not our business to tell the op off.

op, I'd have been annoyed at my sister for hogging the tv and acting entitled too in your situation.

Why don't you save your money and buy another TV?

I'm not going to go into the rest of it, everyone else has already said it.

Well I want my kids to have a good childhood ( family holidays, days out, etc) I’ve seen people who literally spend all of the outgoings on living rent etc and then there kids are the ones who suffer because they never go anywhere, child poverty Is rife at the moment

No going on holiday is not poverty! I would personally feel that seeing your parents paying their own way is quite a valuable lesson and more important than days out. Also your mum’s house is either massive or overcrowded!

It’s not working for her sister who’s had to share her family home with an adult who won’t move out, another one who moved in, and their children...

And who fights with her over control of the tv.

Contrary to what others have said, I remember well the days of moody teen sisters and its usually about the attitude and not what's actually requested. You both have rights to TV. On its own, not really worth fighting about but I imagine it's part of an ongoing attitude issue. I am so glad I was able to leave home and not deal with it. If you are stuck then I would try discussing it as adults with her tomorrow.

My mum and my sister clashed as she wanted to be treated like an adult but acted like a kid. I was at uni so could see her aging easier and adapt, so to speak, so often she listened to me when I explained what her attitude looked like to others. If you babysat her, maybe it's time to rethink the relationship to a more adult one and that goes both ways. She needs to respect you too.

Appreciate I have massively projected there so ignore if not relevant.

Followed by people treating the OP as if she was 17yo

Maybe because she is acting like a seventeen year old...

No we have several TVs, my mum watches some of the same tv shows as me so where I can il will go to her room whilst she working which is what she tells me to do. We do have a tv in the bedroom but as DP gets up early (4 am) he usually goes to bed at like 8 when I’m still doing household chores, Tv is my thing, I love tv and no I don’t watch any soaps.... I don’t drink or smoke or go out so that’s what I like to do... I work, pay my way.

And she has her own tv.... with an Xbox which you can watch YouTube from...

" She doesn’t contribute towards the bills. "

She's 14 & a dependant of her mum!

She can't be expected to live anywhere else atm.

Op on the other hand-if she doesn't like the way things are can move out.

Bloody hell @Sophisticatedsarcasm, where to start on your last post.

if people live that shallow where a disagreement about tv which will be forgotten by tomorrow forces them to move out what society are we really living in

Firstly, if it will be ‘forgotten about by tomorrow’, why bother posting at all?

Secondly, no you didn’t invite opinions on your living situation, however due to you not being able to behave like a grown-up due to never moving out, it’s not really surprising people have commented on it. It’s not a normal situation, and evidently in your case, not a healthy one.

Well I want my kids to have a good childhood ( family holidays, days out, etc) I’ve seen people who literally spend all of the outgoings on living rent etc and then there kids are the ones who suffer because they never go anywhere

You’re really showing your immaturity here. Many people manage to move out, pay rent/a mortgage, other bills and will give their kids a good childhood. Something about planning around the future, instead of assuming our parents will put up with us forever (and partners, and your own kids on top).

child poverty Is rife at the moment and I count my lucky stars that I have my mum to help us

Not through choice though, you’ve imposed your adult life on her and I bet you’ve used the ‘oh but renting is so hard/wasting money’ line so much she feels guilty about even thinking of making you leave.

I never want to see my kids in any type of poverty so as long as they have a roof over their head I don’t care.

Evidently so. You are imposing a full family on your teenage sister for one, doesn’t she deserve a teenage-hood without her sister and her brood being around all the time?

Long story short, you are coming over as very immature in so many ways. You seem to think you have it all figured out by the way you’ve planned to take advantage of your mum for the rest of her life it seems. I hope you have a contingency plan if it all goes to shot for whatever reason.

This sounds the same as the arguments I had with my sister when we were children.

Your DSis is being unreasonable.

Whether people on MN 'approve' of your living arrangements or not is SO not the point of this. You all live together, you are often left in charge of your DSis and have been for many years, your DSis has been glued to the TV all week. Therefore it's your turn, and you get to enjoy it in peace and quiet and she can watch YouTube on another device.

But, is there somewhere in the house for another TV? This will only get worse.

Never mind, just saw she had her on TV for her Xbox. She is being MASSIVELY unreasonable then!

Yes exactly, 14 and should not be telling adults what to do. No wonder kids are growing up so entitled if they expect to get their own way all the time.

OP has basically said she posts stuff to get a reaction so I’d take a lot of this with a big barrel of salt...

It’s you Mum’s house and therefore, as siblings (no matter what the age difference) you are equals in it. If it were your house it’d be different. I’m not sure why you expect your dsis to have respect for you because of your age. Of course she’s unreasonable - she’s a teenager!!! You need to sit down calmly and discuss the matter so that you can work out a sensible and suitable compromise (done if necessary with your Mum too).