Friend slept with a stag on night out

[HopeDog]

On a night out recently and a friend starting chatting to a group of men on a stag night. She ended up going back to a hotel with, and had sex with the stag.

She thinks she is bu as she is single.

Aibu to think she is wrong?

Sweet Jesus, I feel as if I live in a parallel universe sometimes.

I disagree. This is making it the woman's responsibility for him not to cheat. It's not, it is his and his alone.

^ This is total crap.

I suppose the same 'logic' applies to a woman who pursues or flirts with a married man if she is single? Oh the irony of MN behaviour!

It is also implying her head is an empty vessel, she has no morality, no control over her actions and it really doesn't matter who she fucks whether they are married, or engaged.

TWO people fuck and if one is in a relationship, the other person should walk away.

There are plenty of single men on Tinder if all she wants is a quick fuck.

I am in no way defending what this woman did, however, I will challenge certain words, name and phrases when I see them used, as these phrases do feed into an unhealthy narrative, even if said without meaning to

Great post

It's pretty icky.
Why would she find such a man attractive in the first place?

Sex with the stag? I am trying and failing to imagine how can that could have possibly been a shag worth having?

I am in no way defending what this woman did, however, I will challenge certain words, name and phrases when I see them used, as these phrases do feed into an unhealthy narrative, even if said without meaning to

This!

I suppose the same 'logic' applies to a woman who pursues or flirts with a married man if she is single? Oh the irony of MN behaviour!

Even if you are married and pursued by someone else, the responsibility not to cheat lies with the person in the committed relationship or marriage!

It doesn't mean that the person doing the pursuing is not in the wrong they are, and they are not acting in a good way, however, the responsibility not to cheat lies with the person who decided to cheat or not.

well thats that wedding ruined for a start whatever happened to morals

It is also implying her head is an empty vessel, she has no morality, no control over her actions and it really doesn't matter who she fucks whether they are married, or engaged

That is exactly what happens with these "its 100% him" posts.

This thread was about looking at her behaviour, its a given that hes a dick. She chose to also be a dick. Saying it's 100% him is saying she has no agency or choice.

Your friend is a Grade A skank, and He's a Grade A* skank. I'd be tempted to tell his wife to be honest.
She deserves far better. Yes shell be heart broken and gutted, but It's better she finds out now that in 5 years down the track. Let them 2 fuck off together. Let Skankette be cheated on as well, because if he can cheat on his wife to be. He'll cheat on her. When God skant and skanette he obviously matched them.
The fact that she's single doesn't excuse her, either. It'd be different of course if she didn't know he wAs witg some one or even if she was a tad remorseful.

My son arrived back from Ibiza, couple of weeks later went to spend weekend with girl he'd met there. Nice weekend? Yes, really nice, went to x, did y, stayed in a very good b and b. That's nice dear, seeing her again soon? No, she's getting married on Saturday.

longwayoff

This will put a cat amongst the pigeons. A man doing it to a woman.

How do you feel about your son doing that?

Surely the man is 100% responsible for the act of cheating and the women is 100% responsible for the act of sleeping with someone they knew to be committed to another.

The women is not responsible for his cheating nor is the man responsible for her sleeping with a committed person.

Neither caused the other person to do what they did. They both had autonomy over their actions, they both made the choice they made, and they are both 100% responsible for their own behaviour.

@silly she is being called a skank..not that I have used that word as I don't like it, not because she had a ons but because the other participant is engaged and she knew it. And before I get jumped on again he is fucking disgusting and an immoral sleaze as well
I have no issues with ons as I am sure most don't.

If she knew full well he was a stag then yeah I’d say she’s bang out of order, single or not.

I’m sure there were plenty of other men for her to shag that night, and she chose to choose a stag. He’s obviously a prick for cheating on his fiancé but she’s a twat too.

My cousin takes great pleasure in sleeping with taken men. I don't trust her at all.

@long no cat amongst the pigeons here, that's disgusting behavior and needs a good look at his own code of morals.

I'm puzzled that a bloke on his stag was sober enough to get it up.

misses point

His wife to be has my sympathy. I sincerely hope someone tells her before she marries him.

@Cheeeeislifenow - I agree, that is my reading of why she's been called a skank too. But, if her aim that night was a ONS - then what difference does it make to her whether he's in a relationship or not.
She got what she wanted.

Regardless, I think that the person in the relationship is the one responsible for cheating. If the other person just wanted a shag, then they got what they wanted and why would they go passed a willing and assumedly attractive participant?

I blame the best man, its his role to make sure the stag can't stand or function by the end of the night... Or so DH tells me. (and that he doesn't do anything stupid when in such a state)
Would be interesting to know how drunk all parties involved were.
Takes a special sort of low life to do that on your own stag do.

Mooncup, I was not remotely impressed but restricted it to a frosty response and a hard stare. But just before your post showed up It occurred to me to wonder what I would have said to my daughter if she'd done the same. She wouldn't, she would think it beyond disgusting. I would have been far more overtly critical of her though. Hypocrisy? Maybe. I worry when women allow themselves to be used as a simple sperm wastebasket, willingly or not, and would be telling her to have higher aspirations.

Surely the man is 100% responsible for the act of cheating and the women is 100% responsible for the act of sleeping with someone they knew to be committed to another.

Agree. I cannot believe how many people are saying stuff like "his problem not hers."

@silly the phrase"I have had my fun and that's all that matters" springs to mind.

But, if her aim that night was a ONS - then what difference does it make to her whether he's in a relationship or not.

I find that attitude really disgusting. It makes a difference because sleeping with someone you know is in a relationship is a SHITTY thing to do. (And yes, him sleeping with her was shitty too.)