Friend slept with a stag on night out

[HopeDog]

On a night out recently and a friend starting chatting to a group of men on a stag night. She ended up going back to a hotel with, and had sex with the stag.

She thinks she is bu as she is single.

Aibu to think she is wrong?

@cravingmilkshake - I have no idea how you can still be friends with her, she sounds awful.

Rainbow, am fairly sure the husband didn't shag himself.

Why is the concept of knowingly hurting someone (stranger or not) so acceptable to you?

In this day and age OPs friend is a swipe away from a ONS, I wouldn't judge if she didn't know what she was doing, but she was fully aware and didn't give a shit.

That's the problem I have with it.

I haven't labelled her a derogatory name, I've said she is accountable for her actions.

This reminds me of my hen night. The stripper came onto me (and very nice he was too 😉). Yes, lots of alcohol, plenty of envious "oh, go on, last night, freedom", etc, etc. My DH said same happened to him too. Do I blame the other people for trying it on - not really. I've had one night stands when single but if you are in love and committed, temptation won't work!

His relationship is his lookout. Your friend, you nor the rest of us know what is acceptable within his relationship.

Only on MN have I ever heard the "she's single so she did nothing wrong" let be trotted out.

In real life everybody I've ever met knows that if someone is a relationship you don't shag them. It's not a girl code thing, it's a decent human being thing.

Let’s be blunt here. Morals are dying out. They’ve become an “outdated” concept. That’s why you have so many posts here either defending the woman or coming out with the usual crap of “maybe this guy is in an open relationship” Bollocks! Men are out for what they can get but nowadays, so are a lot of women. I have male friends that do internet dating, I have been shocked to my core at some of the profiles posted by women `that they have shown me. If this is the way society is headed, fine call me old fashioned, call me “1950’s”. I want no part of it. Things like FWB... as a concept, fine. In reality? Mostly men doing a booty call and women giving them what they want. Women are less respected than they have ever been, so much for equality! We are becoming animals expecting to shag whomever we please whenever we please with no repercussions. This is exactly why I am solidly out of the dating game and will not be returning!

Agree Asta19

All this 'coolness' is showing seeds of destruction.

Sowing

Enjoying sex is not "being cool"

Let’s face it, though, a drunken one night stand generally doesn’t usually include “good” sex. It can be thrilling, or feel exciting because it’s a new body to see and feel but I personally can’t recall ever having properly satisfying (as in having an orgasm) sex on a ONS where both of us have been very pissed. I’ve enjoyed it, certainly, and perhaps there are some women that do genuinely orgasm during a drunken ONS but I certainly haven’t. A woman’s orgasm is a relatively complicated process (for most women) and sex is generally better with a regular partner where you can both learn what the other one likes.

Really, the OP’s friend was just a sperm receptacle assuming she was also very drunk. Probably saw the bloke as a challenge and patted herself on the back when she “got” him.

Things like FWB... as a concept, fine. In reality? Mostly men doing a booty call and women giving them what they want. Women are less respected than they have ever been, so much for equality!

I have a FWB. We’re both single. It’s fully consensual. We are friends first and foremost and respect each other. We both get what we want from it.

I’m not interested in a relationship for a multitude of reasons, not least because my priority is a stable home environment for my daughter. I have no need or desire for a relationship.

If you want no part of it, that’s absolutely fine and a perfectly valid choice. But please don’t cast aspersions on other people’s “lack of morals” for making safe, legal choices that harm nobody.

The problem isn’t lack of equality through women choosing FWB, it’s throigh people who still can’t get their head around women being in control of their sexual life.

She’s a shit. He’s a bigger one. I’d be furious if she was my friend, and I wouldn’t be afraid to tell her it was sucummy behaviour.

You just don't do this. It's a shit thing to do.

Only on MN have I ever heard the "she's single so she did nothing wrong" let be trotted out.

Agreed. There are some things that, for most normal well adjusted adults, you just don't do. This is one of them.

Urghh. She sounds vile. The only reason for sleeping with a stag is the boost she would have gotten from knowing he was choosing to sleep with her over the feelings of his STBW.

Couldn't be friends with someone like that I'm afraid.

That's rank. She is selfish and should consider how she would feel if it was her fiancé. There must have been lots of guys around that night if she she just wanted a fling. Oh course it's on him 100% and he is the one who has cheated but when its so clearly a stag do it just seems pretty low from her.

A friend from uni met a stag. (wasn't there so have no idea if sex was involved). She married him and had 2 kids. - they later divorced.... again I have no idea why.

I wonder where the OP is? Is this a reverse?

Because men can't control themselves if a woman flaunts herself? Should we all wear burkas so stags don't get tempted by our brazen naked faces and be forced to bend us over and give us a good fucking?

Erm, this logic only works if the OPs friend was raped... ridiculous.

@mentallyfacked

The woman hasn't hurt anyone the fiance has. I wouldn't do it but it's absolutely not her fault that he cheated. If it hadn't been with her it might well have been with someone else.

Personally if the only thing stopping my husband cheating was the fact he couldn't find a willing partner - I would already be in a shit marriage and would rather find out sooner rather than later.

Things like FWB... as a concept, fine. In reality? Mostly men doing a booty call and women giving them what they want. Women are less respected than they have ever been, so much for equality!

What a sexist attitude you have. You seem to think sex is something men want. If a woman has a FWB then obviously casual sex is something she wants too. Both partners are getting what they want and there is no reason they can't both respect each other.

The only person responsible for where a man puts his penis is the man it is attached to.

Again, this hideously twisted logic only holds if rape has occurred. So a woman has no role in choosing when, where and whose penis she has inside her

Women are less respected than they have ever been, so much for equality!

This is nonsense and extraordinarily ignorant... Yes, we don’t yet have full equality between sexes, but I wish you could go back 25, 50 or 100 years and see how things were.

*The only person responsible for where a man puts his penis is the man it is attached to.

Again, this hideously twisted logic only holds if rape has occurred. So a woman has no role in choosing when, where and whose penis she has inside her*

You're wilfully misinterpreting this. It is not a woman's responsibility to stop a stranger from cheating on his partner. That is all on him. If she consents to have sex with him it's his choice and 100% his responsibility to decide whether or not this would upset his partner or break the promises he's made to her. If he cheats it's 100% his fault not a scrap of anyone else's.

The woman hasn't hurt anyone the fiance has. I wouldn't do it but it's absolutely not her fault that he cheated. If it hadn't been with her it might well have been with someone else.

I disagree... the man is the one who is most at fault. She enabled his behaviour though and to me is at fault for that. To say “he would only have shagged someone else” is akin to a drug-dealer seeking to excuse their behaviour by saying “if I didn’t do it, someone else would be selling drugs”.