AIBU to feel so angry about EVERYONE being pregnant?

[jemimafuddleduck]

Disclosure - I know IABU, but I just need a rant.

I have low ovarian reserve and have been told the chances of conceiving naturally are slim to none.

Our only option really is IVF using donor eggs.

We have had one round of IVF which failed recently and no embryos to freeze. We are now paying to go abroad which is going to cost at least £11k, possibly more if it doesn't work first time.

Aside from the financial burden, our emotions are everywhere. The only positive thing is that it's made us realise how strong we are as a couple!

And yet, it seems like every day people I know are getting pregnant at the drop of a hat.

All of my friends got pregnant on their first month off contraception. One even had 2 by accident.

One girl I know is 12 weeks. She's been on a city break recently and has been posting about "baby's first holiday" and any naughty food is "the baby wanted it".

Yesterday I found out a family member is 7 weeks. She's already put it all over social media with pictures of her "bump". SHE'S 7 WEEKS!!! This is her third. She's a benefits cheat, an anti vaxxer and is planning to refuse to engage with medical professionals as "her body knows best". 😡😡😡

How is that fair?! It feels so unjust 😭 Sorry for the rant - I just needed to put it out there.

I'm just going to add to the mix, if you haven't got experience of what this is like to go through, feel free to be supportive but don't comment about what OP should or shouldn't do/feel. This suuuucks. Really suuuuucks. If you don't know how much, then politely f* off with your judgement advice.

Thanks again all. I've had a pretty shite day but am hoping to wake up tomorrow feeling more positive. Your support has meant a lot x

ShadyLady53 I have read what you said about donor route but I was 33 and felt the same as you. Went it alone and it's the best thing I ever did. Might be a choice between values and happiness?

@MissB83 I’m glad it worked out for you but I don’t think I would be happy going down the sperm donor route, for many good reasons backed up now by psychological research on both the adult children of sperm donation and the donors themselves. If I can grieve the loss of the possibility of biological children, I know that single adoption would be an option that would sit much better with me morally and one that, given the fields ive worked in, I’ve been well prepared for. You’re right that I don’t think I’d be happy without having children in my future but I don’t see a need to go against my feelings to make that happen, if you see what I mean? If I’m stil single in 2 years time, I’ll start the adoption process.

Shadylady53 tbf I didn't go the sperm donor route myself but my DS has a non involved father. I hope things work out for you

Hi all looking for some advice/experiences;
I had first round ivf last year, which produced 6eggs which all fertilised and 2 good quality 1of which a 9cell at day 3 I was told almost top quality. Unfortunately on day 3when i was supposed to have the transfer I had some bleeding and was advised not to go ahead and wait for day 5 but they didn’t make it, I was devastated. We are considering trying again albeit privately again so saving like mad but also wondering if we are letting our hearts rule our heads; I am 40 now and AMH was 1.2, my husband has low sperm count so it was ICSI but they had to pick the best of a small bunch that were motile.
Going by the statistics from the consultant and being told the odds are stacked against us we really not sure whether it’s worth another attempt. I can’t help thinking about what if I had the et on day 3 and that top quality egg, but as one of the medical staff said in the follow up the egg didn’t make it to day 5 so wouldn’t have been successful anyway.
I have been taking DHEA (on the consultants advice), COQ10, DHA and pregnacare Pre conception ever since the attempt 5months ago.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated x

Sorry for your struggle.
Anti Vaxxers are allowed to have kids though you know🙄
I hope your IVF is successful

I would try again sig, but this time hopefully you can have the day three transfer. The best place for an embryo is inside your body. I think this is why many clinics (including mine) do day 2/3 transfers, to get the embryo where it belongs and where it will hopefully thrive. I had a day 2 transfer and my embryos were not too quality. My two year old daughter definitely is!

Think about what you will regret more in the future Sig , I have no personal experience but that is how I generally approach difficult decisions and it works for me.

and hugs to all who need them, I hope you will all get good news soon x

You mentioned a few good supplement options to review with your doctor. In addition, a form of CoQ10 that is water and fat-soluble absorbs better. Good luck!