AIBU to ask what’s the worst insult you’ve ever called your pet?

[Justagirlwholovesaboy]

When no one is looking of course! We love them unconditionally but sometimes they can be horrors! Doesn’t seem to matter what you call them they still love you anyhow! Mine dog ate cat poo earlier and I admit I swore at him!

Hairy arsed little bastard is usually mine...

"you fucking wanky cuntface" screamed like a psychopath after disappearing for half an hour and returning having apparently bathed in some particularly aromatic fox shit just before getting into my brand new car. DH just calls him 'the hairy cunt', never realised how gross that sounds, must suggest a new nickname.

Little cat is forever known as 'fleabag' as she had fleas when she first came to us.
Big cat is 'mardy cow's because she is often mardy.
Dog is 'fucking little weirdo' because he does some fucking weird stuff...and he is little.

Fat furry fucker every morning when she jumps on my bladder or slaps my face in bed demanding second breakfast (dh feeds her at 5am when he goes work then she wants more by 6.30!

Also twatcat when she hits my ankles when I dare walk past her.

Cunty bollocks. Keeps pissing in my wardrobe. Fucking twat.

At 4 this morning I was calling him fat fluffy dickhead. I think he was bored and wanted me to be awake, so decided to wake me up by jumping off of my headboard onto my stomach. Little shit, its a good job he's cute really.

Devil dog
Street dog
Mongrel

(all true)

We had to stop referring to ours as "little shitbag" (he went through a phase of pooping anywhere in the house that wasn't a little tray!) when he began responding to that rather than his actual name......

litter tray - stupid autocorrect!

Dinner, lol! I do threaten them with ending up as our Sunday roast if they don't behave.

One gets called 'Kujo' when he's in one of his moods as he's an evil bugger, another is affectionately called 'Buddha' as he's a fatty. Other than that we just called them variations (often rhyming) of their names, e.g.,

The dog is called "Menace" or "git" routinely!

l've called one of my rabbits a "furry arsed little twat" when she's bitten me or chased one of my boy bunnies. She's a minx. When l tell her off she sits with her back to me.

Ours is named pisspot as he widdles inside on occasion!