AIBU to ask what’s the worst insult you’ve ever called your pet?

[Justagirlwholovesaboy]

When no one is looking of course! We love them unconditionally but sometimes they can be horrors! Doesn’t seem to matter what you call them they still love you anyhow! Mine dog ate cat poo earlier and I admit I swore at him!

The dcat is called pixie poo face (trying not to swear when she bit me in front of dgc) or pervy pixie as it doesn't matter if I'm going to the toilet or for a bath/shower or just to brush my teeth she follows and sits on the side of the bath watching the I swear she listens for the door being opened

Buggerlugs. The dog actually responds to it now.

Well, today he's the Fucking Hamster Messiah. Hes been hovering round deaths door for a couple of days and he seemed very definately dead this morning. Popped home on lunch to deal with him and he's running round like a loon!

We often refer to our cat between us as "The Idiot", as in, 'Have you fed The Idiot?' and also, occasionally, Sir Cuntalot, as in 'Here he comes, Sir Cuntalot himself'. He is a complete dickhead at times and deserves both titles.

Our kittens get called all sorts, but mostly they are just referred to as "the turds"

"You FUCKING prick" when my cat stands his mucky popcorn smelling paws on my face at 2am.

"You stupid, stupid boy" with a disappointed tone the rest of the time - he is beautiful but so deeply thick. He's permanently surprised by the existence of his own tail, can't work his gravity feeder out, and has jumped into a full bath more times than I can count, sometimes twice in the space of 10 minutes.

My cat thinks she is called "Piss Off Amber" as opposed to to Amber

Fatty

(he is a bit fat)

The tortoise is generally referred to as “where has the fucking thing gone now”
My son has a snake, she was called many many swear words when she got herself stuck through the handle of younger sons sippy cup and I had to spend ages trying to saw through said handle to get her out!

Twat. But he deserved it.

Natural Born Killer, or Bad to the Bone, when he's in hunting mode. (Ds gets v defensive of him when I do this) He is - 3 mice in one day, all laid out as presents in the living room, plus one I repatriated to the woods, is his current record. You'd never suspect him, though!

Oh no I couldn’t. DH calls him weirdo cause he is a bit aloof and doesn’t like cuddles. He also gets stinky bum for obvious reasons. He is, however, my ginger dumpling, jingle jangles, best boy, etc.

Nobhead.

He’s a gorgeous dog and I love him to bits, he is well and truly pampered and loved, but he can be an utter nobhead!

What haven't i called them??

Anything from fucking bastard to stupid brown dog!

Love them really

"Total bitch" every day.
Has anyone taken offense and accused us of animal cruelty yet?

My elderly cat has been called a "Malevolent Old Bastard". He resents being shut out of my room (where he likes to crap on the carpet). One day I woke up, got out of bed, had a very brief shower, then walked into my room to immediately stand on a hairball. As I open the cupboard to retrieve the cleaning gear (a process which has evidently become far too predictable) the door smears the carefully placed unseen turd across the carpet. The mad old bugger watched me, purring, the whole time.

I've got a 7 month old labrador who gets called dickhead for eating the heads off flowers and then spitting them out, I usually say come on then pissflaps when she cries to go out for a wee and she has taken to barking when I stick my middle finger up at her when she does something (many, many things) to annoy me 😂 but when you tell her off she comes and sits next to you and paws you so I just can't be mad 🙈

Shitty kitty. When she shits slop on the cream carpet.

Little Grey bastard and the other is Ginger minge

Our old Guinea pig often gets “you ginger little fuckface” when he refuses to come out of his run.

We are coming into an early spring, so my Thoroughbred Mare has been labelled a cunt quite a few times this week if you're a horse owner of a mare you will know!

Her feelings aren't hurt, she knows she can be an absolute bastard but I still love her dearly

To add, it's not just random. I usually start slinging the insults after she has just buried me or tried to rip the thighs off my legs!

My darling lab gets called twat on a regular basis, because well he is. Love him and his twattish ways dearly though

'Get out of my fucking way you fat hairy arsehole devil cat' is a regular shriek from my kitchen. He has a habit of winding around my feet and sitting just behind me when I am working in the kitchen, I've tripped more than once and dropped several pots. Fat little shite sits there smirking.

Furry plonker usually after they have ran/walked into something