To share what my Smear nurse said?

[LellowYedbetter]

On Friday I went for my smear ... after two weeks of dreading it. The embarrassment, the awkwardness, what if I smell? What if the nurse thinks I look weird down there? What if .. what if ... what if ...

Well I got there and sat down. The nurse made small talk about unrelated stuff and then sighed and said “I’ve got 12 smears today, all one after another! I’m going to be smeared out by the time I leave work!”

Ok so apart from the “smeared out” comment making me laugh like a giggling school kid I IMMEDIATELY relaxed. This procedure that is a nightmare for the patient is just one of many jobs on that nurses list. There are at least 11 other women having their smear today with this one nurse. As if this nurse is going to remember the smelly fanny of patient number 3, or the hairy legs of patient number 1, or the fat belly of patient number 8 ... it made me realise that although the procedure is a massive deal for the patient, to the nurse it’s just another 20 minute appointment. It helped me. And I’m posting this hoping it might help others?

I was pissed of the other day as a salon in the area is advertising a free wax if you bring your smear appointment card.

They just do not get that they are basically saying ooh you can’t go for a smear without waxing first. Hair! How unsightly, the nurse will judge hard if you don’t remove it.

Piss off. I don’t wax or shave, i don't care if it’s free, and i don’t appreciate the pressure to do so.

naturalbornworman wasn't being patronising at all, and I wasn't referring to people who have had sexual trauma or cervical shock ffs. I was referring to the many people who talk about mild discomfort and embarressment. Obviously thats a different thing all together.The OP was saying for 2 weeks she dreaded it and was embarresed. I was saying in general for young girls who have stated that they fear their smell or shape of their vagina is odd. For people who get mild discomfort, paracetamol or ibuprofen helps. And wearing a skirt is practical.

I have had cervical shock after insertion of a mirena so I know what it feels like.

They just do not get that they are basically saying ooh you can’t go for a smear without waxing first. Hair! How unsightly, the nurse will judge hard if you don’t remove it.

Huh, that’s weird, I interpreted it more as the salon were doing something nice to promote having smears! As people might be more likely to book one knowing they’re gonna get a freebie wax. Cos other than possible repeat customers that may pay next time, what are they gaining from this?

You can’t deny there are women though who feel like they might be less embarrassed to attend if they’re done some hair removal, adult women are capable of deciding whether they want a smear or not and if they do whether they want to do anything different with their hair. I doubt many people would see that promo and think omg I’d better cancel my smear if I haven’t waxed, I didn’t realise a clinician would be horrified by my hairy vulva. Or do you disagree?

Mine told me, completely unprompted, AFTER she did my smear, that I shouldn’t be embarrassed about my bikini line. I bloody wasn’t!

I must I admit I'm genuinely baffled as to why anyone dreads smear tests; they don't bother me at all,

Well lucky you. Wait until you’re post menopause and the speculum feels like the nurse has inserted a red-hot poker into you. ☹️

I love the idea of a smear twix, and I think Barbara's idea of smears at waxing shops is actually a great idea. For me I don't care about showing someone my body, it's that it hurts. The lovely nurse does all the "relax" talk the whole time I'm thinking "get on with it, I want to pain behind me!" I don't need to chill, I'm easy going by nature, but this is like having a tooth pulled when you poke around trying to find my hidden cervix while I try to push my fanny as high up in the air as possible. I shall have smear wine next time!

For the nurses on this thread, something I just wondered: if a patient came for a smear and did genuinely have a severely malodorous smell, that could indicate a health issue (like the smell that comes from bacterial vaginosis for example which is unmistakable and clearly not just a normal smell), would you say anything or advise swabs to check? Or would you be so worried about embarrassing the patient you’d not say anything and leave it to them to figure out or not in another way?

If a doctor was doing a breast examination and noticed a rash or skin condition they could treat they’d bring it up as part of overall good medical care, same as if they were checking a broken foot and noticed a fungal nail infection. So would the same apply for a smear?

my first smear was in another country and was horrific. I then went years and years without having one because I was scared.
i got my act together in 2018 and had one and
abnormal cells were detected. Ive since had four cervical biopsies and now I'm on a six monthly recall for smears for two years. This whole experience has shocked and worried me so now I will go every time it's due and I won't care if it's a bit embarrassing or whatever. Had one this Monday and it was absolutely fine, nurse was a star.

Once a nurse said to be i had an 'unremarkable' cervix. I wasn't sure whether to be happy or a bit miffed

I doubt many people would see that promo and think omg I’d better cancel my smear if I haven’t waxed, I didn’t realise a clinician would be horrified by my hairy vulva. Or do you disagree?

A lack of “self care” can be interpreted by medics as an indicator for depression. The current normality of complete pubic hair removal means completely natural is often queried.

Why should women be less embarrased after doing some hair removal? Why are they embarassed for not doing so?

As someone who doesn’s remove hair being offered a free wax before my smear does make me think hair removal is expected.

Bit I a

I read it as something nice to reward a smear, too. And I don’t remove my pubic hair.

I loathe my smears as do the people who carry them out. I’ve got a kink in my cervix apparently which means it takes ages and it hurts for a very long time. No way am I not having them, though.

I always wear a skirt or a dress when having a smear. I find it so less exposing. Just whip your tights and knickers off and lie down and your dress is like a curtain.

Oops

Bit of a reach I think. Greasy hair and dirty clothes and a bad smell together would indicate further enquiry into someone’s self care. But in a medical setting body hair and a full Bush is entirely unremarkable.

If the surgery offered hair removal of course you’d be thinking oh god, is that expected? But they never would, it’s a salon, not connected to the doctors in any way. Surely you’d realise it was a way for a business to try drum up custom and not that it’s a conspiracy where clinicians had all en masse decided that people need to wax before smears and were incentivising local salons to push the agenda?

And I don’t remove my pubic hair either. Honestly never has entered my mind to think a nurse or doctor would think anything in particular about my pubic hair styling. From having many medics in my social group, it’s more common to come across a full bush than a carefully styled Brazilian or a Hollywood.

@Janecon

Many many many reasons.

The last one I had was really painful and left me feeling quite sore for a number of days.

My best friend was taped and finds any sort of intimate contact extremely difficult.

It's lovely they're not a problem for you but not everyone is the same.

Hello All
My best friend who was a nurse told me that if you feel it hurts then next time you should ask if they use “the feather’ instrument its fairly new and does not hurt.. also question the size of the speculum (if I have that right).. i look quite “sturdy” but Ive had two C Sections so the old Vag is not that roomy shall I say !

Severe vaginisimus , tilted backwards & to one side womb makes it extremely painful for me. Last time she spent ages rummaging around, gave up & got another who was supposed to be an expert- she was even worse I’ve asked but never been allowed to put in the speculum myself, it’s always been shove it in then crank open as fast as possible which is absolute agony BUT I would never not go, my sister missed two then was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer, very very lucky to still be here, I just wish I could find somewhere to pay for a private one so there isn’t the hurry

Every time I have a smear (and I have had a fair few, I was on recalls after borderline results for a while) the person doing it comments on my cervix being way off to the left. They have never commented on anything else, ever.

I went to the GUM once years and years ago and the dr had a student with her (which I was fine with). I will never forget the dr commented in a parade ground voice to the student on the healthy appearance of my external genitalia. It was hilarious.

With the skirt vs jeans thing - i prefer to wear my jeans to a smear appt. because i like to keep my socks on during a smear. No idea why. I just feel more comfy with warm covered feet. Each to their own though :)

My old GP was also a gynecologist and he was the one who did the smears at the village surgery. No choice. I had 1 smear with him, and 1 coil insertion. Both times he inserted the (cold metal) speculum (sp?) and then just WHACKED the handle and let it spin open/closed again unchecked while he turned away to get x, y, z from the counter behind him. Really bloody cavalier i thought but i never had the balls to confront him about it.

For the following smear appt. the receptionist said the surgery had employed a nurse and i was overjoyed and booked in with her for the next smear. When i walked in the new nurse standing there was one of my fellow school pick up Mums from the primary who i would chat to almost daily! I was a bit and she was . She said ''Hello!! It's you! I don't mind if you don't - just let me know it's fine it's no big deal either way''. Very cheerful and put me at ease. Well, i said i was fine and she was the gentlest and quickest at doing a smear i've ever experienced. (and she was horrified by the spinning the speculum story).

To the pp saying the 'scraping' is painful, your knowledge is out of date and could be very off-putting to anyone reading. They don't scrape any more (I remember the lolly sticks they used to scrape with and yes they did hurt). What they use is a brush. Its (not sharp) bristles are trimmed to a sort of triangular shape so the longest bristles go into the os (the small opening of the cervix) and they rotate the brush to gather the cells opposed to scraping. It isn't nearly as uncomfortable - in fact last time I had a smear i didn't notice she had even done it.

Biscuitsneeded my last smear was three months ago, they used the brush you’re talking about (I saw it laid out next to the bed) and yes, the scraping bloody hurt. Bit patronising to come on here and assume those of us who find it painful are speaking from ‘out of date’ knowledge

When people say it is painful, do you mean that the pain last longer than the actual smear itself? I've had a few that have hurt, but only in the few minutes that it is being actually carried out

I’ve got a weird ridge on my cervix and smears hurt at the time and I get really strong cramps, almost like labour pains after. I usually bleed too. Weirdly, the last one didn’t. Ive no idea what the nurse did differently.

That did make me lol SinkGirl, the ‘often queried’ , so earnest!

Not having had children, they tend to use the smallest speculum for my smears, which is something at least. My first one was not in the UK, and it was easy-peasy, done by a doctor (GP) who was clearly skilled.

The first one in the UK was dreadful. I think it was 2002 or 2003, so don't know about the scraping/non-scraping, but the nurse definitely scraped and it hurt, and the stick came back all red. Not a good thing.

The last one I had was done by a midwife become practice nurse. I think she was fabulous. I've never been embarrassed or anything, so that didn't impact, but it was so quick with her (even though my cervix appeared to tilt sideways a bit), fabulous. I've aged out now.