To share what my Smear nurse said?

[LellowYedbetter]

On Friday I went for my smear ... after two weeks of dreading it. The embarrassment, the awkwardness, what if I smell? What if the nurse thinks I look weird down there? What if .. what if ... what if ...

Well I got there and sat down. The nurse made small talk about unrelated stuff and then sighed and said “I’ve got 12 smears today, all one after another! I’m going to be smeared out by the time I leave work!”

Ok so apart from the “smeared out” comment making me laugh like a giggling school kid I IMMEDIATELY relaxed. This procedure that is a nightmare for the patient is just one of many jobs on that nurses list. There are at least 11 other women having their smear today with this one nurse. As if this nurse is going to remember the smelly fanny of patient number 3, or the hairy legs of patient number 1, or the fat belly of patient number 8 ... it made me realise that although the procedure is a massive deal for the patient, to the nurse it’s just another 20 minute appointment. It helped me. And I’m posting this hoping it might help others?

sequinafortune
The nurse who did my smear test last month told me to do the same!
It seems to have worked and my results came through last week.

Vietnamese I'm not questioning that you found it painful, and I'm sorry if you did. But they categorically do not 'scrape'. They 'brush'. I am old enough to remember the 'scraping' and there is a huge difference.

Oh and my last smear the speculum broke inside me. Nurse apologised profusely but it werent her felt

That’s some pelvic floor muscles you’ Got!

Smears have ranged from painless, uncomfortable right through to bloody painful. Recently they have been better so I think the plastic speculums are defintely helping.

The person doing it I think makes all the difference. I still remember one horrible nurse commenting on why I was gripping the side of the bed as it doesn't hurt and that was the worst one for pain and I bled lots afterwards. Nearly put me off ever going again. The nurses that recognise its unpleasant and do their best to put you are ease are the best and make it so much easier.

If you have never experienced pain or discomfort during one that's great but those that have shouldn't have to deny it 'just in case it puts someone off going'.

I had to take my toddler with me to my smear as my childcare plan fell through...so I sat him in his pushchair, gave him some snacks and loaded up my phone with CBeebies...,

The lovely and funny nurse said to me just before she started well it's the first time I've done one of these to the theme tune of postman man

My last smear was so painful it took many attempts across 3 different appointments. They've told me to book in and have it done as an outpatient in hospital next time where I can have gas and air as well. It doesn't put me off doing it, but I will need plenty of reassurance in the pain relief front.

This thread has come at an interesting time for me.

I am due a smear test but I have been putting it off because even the thought of picking up the phone to make the appointment makes me feel sick and shaky. I did start a thread the other day asking for advice but I still haven't got round to actually making the appointment. The thought of making the appointment and going in there and actually having it done just makes me want to cry .

I also don't get smear twix or all smeared out but it has been a long day.

I am not embarrassed. I don't care what my fanny looks like, everyone can have a look for all I care . But I am autistic and have sexual trauma in my past so the last (and only) smear I had was so painful. I just don't want the pain again.

Mine is well overdue because I'm avoiding it because I'm embarrassed about how my labia look. I know this sounds SO irrational and I can logically talk myself around this, but not enough to brave going. I avoid going to the GP because every time they remind me I need to have it done. I know those who do smears say they don't notice but I can't help but think "but they haven't seen mine!". Again, I know this is irrational! I'm kicking myself because I need to go get it done.

I was morbidly obese so obviously overweight. At one smear the nurse was having a problem. I have a wonky cervix so it's always an issue. This nurse however decided it was because I was overweight. She told me that if I lost weight I would lose weight all over which would make my smear test easier! I did mention my wonky cervix but she insisted it was all due to my weight. I was so bemused that I asked for a diet sheet and exercises to help me get a slim vagina and cervix! She actually asked for my email address so she could look into it for me!

Oh and bariatric surgery and ten stone weight loss later I still have a wonky cervix and difficult smear tests but I am guessing my vagina is slimmer!

I’m due to start my smear taker training soon, so this has been a very interesting read for me.
For the ladies who suffered trauma
I hope I do my patients justice. Personally I find having a smear taken bloody painful.

I bloody love that!!!!

Also, genius suggestion to insert the speculum yourself. That's honestly never occured to me (and as a midwife I've been around a LOT of vaginas). Seriously, that has made me change my experience AND my practice. Just wow.

I also went for mine on Friday and was so pleasantly surprised, it was the first time that it actually genuinely didn't hurt. I think the brush does help instead of scraping but probably also depends on the nurse.

I tried to book a smear test several times recently and there were always no appointments available! My Dsis tried to book hers (different surgery) and they said she couldn't yet because she was 3 weeks too early!

I just went for mine after putting it off. It was really painful. I am petite and she struggled to to get the access or angle or something. Plus my children were c sections so I don't know if that's an added factor?

She warned me the sample she finally got might not be enough so I'm dreading getting recalled

I genuinely do not understand what the issue is. These wonderful nurses do this for a living and have seen many a fanny in their time - they dont care about yours!

My issue isn’t embarrassment, I have significant sexual trauma in my past and the process of having something put inside me is incredibly triggering. I don’t care how many fannies the nurse has seen, I don’t care what she thinks of my vagina or whether my cervix is in the ideal place - all I want to do is get through it without having a massive flashback, panic attack or fighting the nurse off because my trauma brain think I’m being attacked.

I’m glad you genuinely don’t get what the issue is, because it means you’ve not had the experiences I have but surely it’s not beyond your imagination to think that a) some people will find the process traumatic and b) some people will say they avoid their smear out of embarrassment rather than disclosing their experiences of sexual trauma to some random.

For women who are or may be menopausal, there is also the issue of vaginal atrophy. This causes the tissues of the vagina to become thinner, sometime dryer, even 'papery', and they can tear easily which can make smears extremely painful. This is a very treatable condition, and there are several options.

There is a whole menopause section on MN, and this and this are a couple of relevant threads.

I did 17 smears one day last week, I didn't think one thing about hair removal. If anything I feel a bit sad that people feel the need to be all groomed, etc to see me.

THanks for sharing OP, brilliant.

When I went for mine, my nurse instantly put me at ease by saying that she dreads having her smear. It just made me realise that she's human too, and all us women are going through the same thing

I'm in my 40s and have never liked smears but they have always been bearable until the last two. It was the same practice nurse both times. The first one she did she couldn't find my cervix and then the light broke off its hinge so she had to get someone in to hold it and point it in the right direction. It took ages.

The second one she just seemed completely out of her depth and really struggled. I bleed quite a lot after it. She then said she thought I had polyps and I needed to see the gp. When the gp examined me a couple weeks later she said there were no polyps and amazingly the whole examination was pain free and quick.

I have no idea why the nurse struggles so much but I just can't face seeing her again. By the end of my smears she looked more red faced, sweating and flustered than I did! She also said they are no longer allowed to use lubricant on the speculum although the gp at the time said that was incorrect.

Jellycat- I'm really sorry to hear how difficult this can be for you. Some clinics have special sessions when the clinic is quiet, with longer appointment times, counsellors, specially trained nurses, etc. If they do that locally to you, do you think that might help?

Thanks @idontlikezombies, I go to a clinic for women who have experienced sexual trauma and they are absolutely superb. I’d highly recommend them simply because having someone who doesn’t approach it like you’re one of twenty vaginas she’ll see today makes a huge difference, and I know if I do have a flashback or something, they’ll know how to help me and will have time and space to make sure I’m ok.

my nurse instantly put me at ease by saying that she dreads having her smear.

Maybe I'm weird but I would find this very off putting.

Love it, thanks x