to ask what bizarre cruelty your dc have accused you of?

[Dohee]

I've just been reading threads and was reminded of one thing my dd said to me very earnestly one day.

'I remember you putting me to bed in the middle of the day'.

Now, either she can recall being a baby being put down for a nap, or she recalls being put to bed at her usual bed-time during the summer when it was still bright outside. Either way, she was never put to bed at 3pm for the rest of the day and night.

It's funny what they remember and what they interpret.

Have you been accused of any cruelty?

My 10 year old nephew said he felt like a slave and that his life was unfair. He had been asked to make his bed...

A shriek of "This is abuse!" for saying the Xbox had to be switched off.

I take care of a friend’s toddler weekly, along with my own. If I give them both a snack mine will inhale hers and then point at the other’s, howling in indignant rage that I would dare to feed him and not her.

PMSL, I guess I got off lightly!

It's funny what they remember and what they interpret.

And I'm sure your DD would remember it a different way, that she annoyed you so much that you put her to bed at 3pm with no tea.

Your memory is no more accurate than your DD's.

And apparently it's also abusive to say it's time to get ready for bed. Give me strength!

My twenty year old nephew in full time work accused his mother of extracting ‘blood money’ from him when she asked him for £20 a week towards his keep.

My three year old told nursery I'd poked her in the eye with a needle.

I have literally no idea where she got that from.....!!! Thankfully they knew she was fibbing (she has form)

My son's teacher showed me a piece of writing one day. "My mummy wa*ks me everyday". Turned out he had tried to write WARLK (walk) but had done a lower case r and a capital L that ran together, so it looked like a lower case N. Had a bit of explaining to do there but fortunately DS backed me up when the teacher asked him to read it to her!

I have 3 nieces. If I ever held one when dd was a toddler, she would pop herself up onto my knee to oust the usurper. She never sat on my knee as it was, but woe betide me if I took another wee damsel onto my knee!

DC1 told her teacher I only let her have clean pants once a week.

DC2 told her teacher that I hadn't given any of them breakfast, or tea the previous night. Compounded by me saying "Yes you had brioche for breakfast!" "What's brioche, I've never even heard of that mummy!"

DC3 has just turned 3 and everything I do is the height of cruelty right now. "No mummy, you not doing good listening a'me!"

EggysMom where did the OP say she'd put her child to bed at 3pm as a punishment?

Took them out for a lovely summer walk in the hills. Resulting in the eldest crawling up the hill on hands and knees crying and promising to ring childline when we got home.

There's a video on Facebook about the Dad being brought into the school about the child saying how much weed they had at their house. She meant weeds lol.
The mind of a child eh?

I think Eggysmom must be dd! If you are, get your ass into your uniform!

Oh eggysmom

My dc tell people that I put them in a bag

They'd hang you out to dry God bless them.

My eldest once told her nursery school teachers 'Daddy drinks beer and hits me with the bottles'

Told everyone I was a coke addict... he meant Diet Coke

Once you weren't forcing coke on him you're safe enough lol.

Mammy makes me take coke for breakfast. Christ but that would land you in hot water!

Another time, I had left dd's beautifully prepared lunch behind one day, realised when I got to the school, popped into local small shop and bought whatever I could find. She told her grandmother (my mother) 'I had no lunch at school today'. Little shyster.

Dd told nursery that I pulled her hair an hit her (brushed her hair, tapped her hand for being naughty) they called me in because she had a mark on her forehead. Luckily ds has the exact same birthmark!! It only showed up if upset/chewed up.

Oh God, I'd never get away with laying a finger on dd. She'd be on the 6 o'clock news, aged 5, seeking asylum from this abusive regime. As it was, she found time-out to be abusive and would tell Granny all about that too.

Oh all sorts.
Mostly just accusing me of hurting them when all I'm trying to do is break up a fight or stop them seriously injuring themselves.
I think the best example was at the supermarket. Ds1 was four and in full daydreams phase. I was constantly having to remind him to look where he was going and not wander off.
A Very Impatient Man came barreling down the aisle very fast with a full trolley. Ds was in his path and I had to pull him out of the way very quickly.
Cue - "You hurt me! You hurt my arm! That hurt!" as nauseam.
I asked him if he'd rather I'd left him to be squashed by the Impatient Man and he said yes.
Sigh.

Granny of course would ask 'were you in time-out today?' And the sad eyes would appear while she told her tale of woe about the abusive regime she was living under. She had her granny wrapped around her little finger from the get go.