To not understand what happens at a strip club?

[everythingisbetterafteranap]

Not sure if this is allowed at its 'inspired' by another thread

But

Why does a man go to a strip club if there is not touching of the women or themselves? I genuinely don't understand? If you got a private dance nude thing, but didn't masturbate during it or have sex, then what's that all about?

Not condoning exploitation of women in poverty, just curious on what the attraction is???

@Rtmhwales

Thank you for your comments. I am just curious because of the other thread and thought I'd ask.

So can I ask, for clarity as an obviously stupid and naive menopausal woman, if a man goes to a strip club and asks for a private dance then there is a high probability he is paying for sex of some form to take place?

Well she will be naked and writhing all over him, supposedly he is to be sitting on his hands.

There are not necessarily and extras - ie sex, or sexual acts, but she will have everything in his face.

@cheesemongery

Thank you, and also for your witty responses about Karl Lagerfield earlier. Very funny.

Im not a man nor have I been in a strip club but I think maybe some men frequent them because its like part of a fantasy for them. Look but cant touch sort of thing. Being teased etc. Stereotypically strippers are meant to be these sexy, confident women with bodies to die for. But then again it just depends on what establishment he frequents... Im just going by what I see in tv shows. But probably the reality is much more grim.

Thank you, and also for your witty responses

Ah you're welcome, I mean I'm not too up on the strip club scene so you may want to take it with a pinch of salt!

As for the other, it's been deleted, which I'm a bit gutted about as I prefer to let things stand and people can see the responses (attacks).

Hey ho, I'm taking my fat ass off to bed! Eeyore! Sorry Night night!!

Why pay to get sexually aroused but knowing you can do nothing with that? Seems an odd thing to do. Unless that is the attraction?

The transactional element is key.

Paying means you have the power to make someone else take off their clothes and dance for you. It doesn't matter if it doesn't go further.

Individual punters can feel a sense of superiority because of what their money can make another human being do. It's about power.

As part of a group, men can bond over their superiority over women, what they can make women do with their money. Male bonding rituals can be very crude and very nasty sometimes.

OP, I don’t know where you grew up but I’m the same age as you and there certainly were strip clubs around when I was a teenager - they’re not a new phenomenon .

“findom” would refer to Financial Dominance or Financial Domme, where a man is sexually gratified by handing over - sometimes large sums of cash, ‘gifts’ to a woman. It is a sexual fetish and whilst she may subject him to (erotic) humiliation, perhaps even tantalise him, she is unlikely to be intimate with him in any physical way.

@mathanxiety That is an excellent explanation if somewhat depressing.

@StitchingMoss

I grew up in a small town in Central Scotland. We didn't get C4 when it started so missed out on many cultural phenomenons.

@mathanxiety - that's the most sense I've ever read about anything to do with either strip clubs or the sex trade. It's even more depressing than reasoning that it's for arousal or titillation (although I suspect that is a huge part of it). Anyway, my bed really does call this time - so I'm off.

Ah that makes sense - I grew up in London .

At a guess I think that attraction is plain and simple titillation.

Historically it was accepted that men liked to be visually stimulated and enjoy being turned on even if it does not include physical stimulus.

Society has in the past portrayed promiscuous males as studs or playboys but females as something else entirely. Sexually explicit publications, "top shelf" magazines and web cam performers are generally in the majority aimed towards men. Page three girls featured in a shit everyday tabloid for over 40 years and only actually stopped 4 years ago which also reinforced a scary mainstream acceptance of men visually objectifying women for sexual gratification.

I used to know someone who did pole dancing for a while. She said it was a power trip for men to make her pay attention to them, she had to get them to buy drinks or a VIP room dance, and they knew that was how she'd make money so they would really make her work for it. She ended up developing a very low opinion of men.

Plus I expect they get to blatantly ogle without being told to piss off.

thoughtcatalog.com/melanie-berliet/2015/07/13-ways-guys-you-probably-shouldnt-date-justify-going-to-a-strip-club/

I guess its just a men's kind of thrill. Interesting read here

I have a friend who goes to strip clubs to try and get 'extras' to ensure that they are practicing within their licence so it is monitored to some extent. He also goes out checking for licensed taxis.

I'm sure the OP who is in an upsetting situation feels bad enough about her situation without you making a post & thread off the back of it.

Im sure there are sites where you can ask men why. Google it, maybe.

Men do it so they have something in the wank bank.

In a past life I took clients to many of the top strip clubs - seventh heaven in Tokyo, scores in New York, sttingfellows here - and I’ve been to a couple of seedier places, too.
The irresistible draw of these places from what I saw is nothing to do with the tits, but the fact that the men were showered with attention. In the real world they were middle-aged, balding, repulsive lonely men, but soon as they sat down, these unbelievably gorgeous babes wanted to talk to them, made them feel funny and desirable, and so on. Blokes seemed to convince themselves that these beautiful women wanted to be with them because they were good company, and the fact that they stayed in your company only whilst you continually bought expensive drinks and paid them to grind against you every now or then was always conveniently brushed over. Total fantasy land but the blokes seemed to be quite addicted to this personal attention. The pole dancing stuff always seemed to be just the sideshow to keep the blokes there whilst they waited for the girls to come round and make them feel good about themselves for a while.
The girls in these places were, by and large, lovely. They’d chat with me (for free, ha, ha) whilst taking a break from talking to blokes. The girls and I were both doing the same thing - taking advantage of blokes who were willing to pay for a bit of attention (they took their clothes off, I wore a suit and worked on wall st). Most escorts were graduates making a killing to save up for stuff.
The seedier places were a different story. Same sad blokes but it was more of a power thing and nothing to do with attention. The blokes seemed to get the same superiority buzz through a whole power play - breaking the girls down to the lowest common denominator, if you like. Treated the girls like pieces of meat and did a LOT of touching without permission. Made them feel bigger I guess. I only went to two of these places one in London, one in Bangkok, and walked out of both, and was pretty repulsed by the depths blokes can sink to.
Both the high class and the low class places had hoards of stags and similar parties of ‘normal’ blokes passing through, but those guys were just normal blokes doing a night out thing - they could just as easily have been at the races or doing a karaoke bar. They veered from looking thoroughly embarrassed to being lewd and loud, but they just came through, gawped, and walked out a bit poorer. They weren’t the ones the hostesses spent time on.

Op I have wondered exactly the same thing many times!

It must be like going to a fancy restaurant, then after you've ordered, seen, and paid for your food, the waiter takes it away.

In the UK, there is no touching, it is illegal. Either on the main floor, and especially not in private dances. There is no sex in strip clubs. The club would lose its licence.

Men pay for dances because they like to see naked women. Women dance because it can be financially rewarding.

I am an ex banker (female) I spent nights and nights in strip clubs, clients wanted to go (Male)

It was just part of the "scene" back then, egos flying around, who has the most money, ordering vodka by the bottle

I sat and chatted to the dancers, most are mums making a living.

Bizarre really, but at the time it was fun

I'm a lapdancer, ask me anything thread

This was a thread a little while while ago, it attracted a few dancers and we ended up having a little reminisce towards the end. There's a lot of information here which you may find useful.

everythingisbetter - I'm about your age, and yes they did exist in the 1980s but they were less in the public eye. But they were still definitely there!