To ask what you call your neighbours

[winobaglady]

Inspired by this thread I thought I would ask what names you have for your neighbours, with their specific traits.
We have
the ageing hippies, self explanatory
there's 50 pence, son of one set of neighbours who plays offensive gangsta rap really loud when his parents go out and smokes weed
the jacks live at the end of our shared drive, they've made a parking area where they shouldn't have, forked out for expensive drive resurfacing but won't pay towards the shared area and always put their bins on the edge of our garden on bin day

AIBU to ask for yours?

We have Captain Misery, his wife Mrs Misery and their (adult) son Junior Misery.

We call the lady opposite us "meekat" cos she's always popping up in the window whenever I leave the house or clean my windows/put the bins out etc..she's so nosey haha

To the left ... shouty bad parents
To the right.... Benefits cheat
Opposite... The vamps

I love these threads!

We've got ;
Fat Fiona (and computer guy, because another neighbour told us she got her partner "off the computer")
Grumpy Git
The Cunts
Sadie (that's her name)
The Stereotypes
Witness Protection People
The Nice Family
Dogshit and weed people

The Chavs
The Burglars
Tidy Chinese Lady
The Sikh family
Slightly odd Family with the weird son
Arseholes Next Door
Rita

If we don’t know people’s names we refer to them by pets or children. So Labrador Lady, Border Terrier Man, Two Little Boys and so on. Where the pets are cats, they are known by the cat’s colour or description - Black and White, Grey and Fluffy, Big Stripy etc. (We are possibly Nosy White, going by that rule, because our cat is always watching out of the front window.)

My old house I had:
"Fruitloop" - Single mother who kept trying to dump her kids on me because 'teachers don't work full time hours'. And neither do you honey. Every time the kids did come over they tried to steal something.

"The Brady Bunch" - Blended family with six adult children (and their cars) who just would not leave home.
"Old Yeller" - stressed mother who yelled at her kids a lot.
"Mrs Mangle" - old lady who liked to know everyone's business.

New house:
I just call them by their (nick)names because they are all lovely. Most people here have a nickname, I'm not even sure of some of their 'real' names.

The ones we like we call by their names. The others are:

The bellower (you can hear her anywhere on the street.)
Nosy neighbour (constantly sat watching out her window.)
Naughty dog neighbour (their dogs bark the second I let mine outside - mine never bark.)
Grumpy neighbour (probably not grumpy at all in real life.)

Now I have to change my username as my husband will 100% recognise this if he reads it 😂

We have neighbours with actual names now, but in our last house, we had:

Crazy Shouting Child (plus Crazy Shouting Child's Brother and Crazy Shouting Child's Parents) *

Bell-end neighbours

Short shorts (and short shorts's increasingly broken car)

Hoarder Theresa

That one my husband testified against in court

The family that went on holiday to Mr K Smith's drive

Cow print car lady

Eye-patch man aka drunken pirate aka Oh, he's dead.

Chicken thief lady

TVR Dick

Prisoner Cell Block H aka Mrs Mullet

Weird Jim (actually one of the least weird of the lot, but we met him before the real crazies made themselves known).

*I suspect that my children have now taken on this nickname for our neighbours

On one side we have the Wombles and on the other ‘Arichoke Man’ who keeps giving us artichokes from his garden. However we are on excellent terms with both sets and, in fact, we all use first names. We are friends and they know the nicknames.

Van man coz he’s drives a van
Bin woman coz she’s obsessed with her wheelie bin
Lizzie lizard
The wee arsehole next door ( self explanatory) and the new people who have lived in the road for about 7 years

The Chinese slapper - Chinese "lady" upstairs, we suspect she is a working girl, from the men ringing her intercom & the noisy sex we hear through the ceiling. We think she may have moved out as we haven't heard the bonking for a couple of months.

Arse holes

Most of our neighbours are nice, however our actual NDN are Bitchface/Cats Bum mouth, and up the road we have Mrs Won't Anyone Think of the Hedgehogs

I bet I'm not the only person looking out for myself/my neighbours.

Be careful! I reckon I'd spot my street given the level of detail shared here! (no luck so far)

Where we live now we manage to use real names, but in previous house:

Couple of doors down: woman with a face like a slapped arse - became simply 'slapped arse'. Years later I actually spoke to her and found out how sweet she was. And her real name is Barbara.

Next door - 2 blokes - we knew their names but still referred to them - affectionately - as the Old Gits.

Bloke opposite was Fat Les because of his car registration. Later found out he was Gary but Fat Les suited him better.

Another couple nearby were The Teachers. Never spoke to them to verify that they were teachers but worked it out from haggard expressions and large piles of books on the back seat of their car.

Ours are all lovely, we have our direct NDN who we call the Boo Radleys, we never see them (To Kill A Mocking Bird) but they are still lovely and would be there in a heartbeat in an emergency.

Then across the road we have the remainers, who my most mild mannered of DH's calls the Little Brexiteers Gobshites.....

Oh and:

mr and Mrs sausage
Postie and Mrs Postie

On one side, their names.

On the other, it's an elderly chap, whose name I don't know. His daughter visits to care for him and often stays overnight . She has made it very clear she is not my next door neighbour and makes a theatrical display of blanking me, if we pass, in the street. Said neighbours generally get referred to as he, she and they. Eg "they have piled their crap into his recycling bin so it's blowing into our garden, again" and "oh, dear, off she goes shouting, again"

By their names. On the other side Richie Rich, as he’s quite rich.

Brain in a jar - because we didn't see him for about a year after we moved in but his partner (who we see all the time) would often mention his existence. So we decided she'd either made him up or he was a brain in a jar. Turns out he's real and has a brain in his head like a normal person.

Also 'I wouldn't bother' - because that is his response to everything.
IWB - 'what are you doing'
Me - 'just a bit of weeding'
IWB - 'I wouldn't bother'

IWB - 'Where are you going'
Me - 'To A and E my head has fallen off and I've lost 18 pints of blood'
IWB - 'I wouldn't bother'

Horse twat bastards

We have 'the bastards' on one side, because someone once left a note pinned to their door yes I am nosey addressed to 'you bastards' - they are actually lovely people though

On the other side we have 'Arnold clark' given their nickname after the car showroom. At one point there were 3 cars to the one driver who lives there! It was a nightmare when the 4 teen DCs all lived at home and drove though, you would have 2 cars for the dad, 1 each per DC and at least 2 belonging to G/BF's of the DC's!

Brian seems to be a theme. She can often be heard shouting BBRRRRIYYYAANNNNN!!! Which must be the name of her son, who seems to be singlehandedly responsible for all the pop cans and heroes tins that we have to keep throwing back over the fence.

I have thin walls, so my neighbours are named based on the noises the make that most annoy me. They are:

• Music man. Enjoys all forms of noise, but his favourite activities are playing guitar and singing loudly but badly. It was a dark time in my house when Bohemian Rhapsody was introduced.

• Cackle lady. Generally talks very loudly, but her stand out feature is a weird cackle laugh that ends with a single loud guffaw.

• Quiet man. He is my favourite because his voice is normally muffled. He lives with cackle lady and yappy dog.