How long do you leave your teenager?

[redwinelove]

Sorry I know this has been done to death!

My son was 13 in December.
He is an only child.

He has been left for a maximum of hour and half. I'll leave him to pop to the shop but if I knew I would be more than a couple of hours I would make him come with me. According to him I'm a wuss and can leave him for longer.

My partner agrees with him.

How long are you comfortable enough to leave them for?

All day when we're at work! Mine are older teens now but we're out and about during holidays at thirteen, going out with friends, cinema etc. as well as staying in for whole days.

That sounds a bit overprotective for 13.
My DC(15 and 13) are regularly left all day during the school holidays (which granted is an 8-4 sort of day). That's really quite usual at that age, as would be the teenager being by themself for 2-3 hours after school if parents were at work.

VERY overprotective.

Many people would leave a 13 y.o all day while they were at work.

All day at work.

Days out at weekend.

All day if I have to work in the school holidays, have done for ages, he's 13.5... not gonna pay a childminder at that age are ya

From my own experience, I'd go home and be at my home after school while DM worked, would go on days out with friends etc. Definitely seems overprotective for 13.

It really depends on the child, how mature and reponsible he is, how far away from home you will be, are you contactable in an emergency?

I've left my 13 yo over night, I know most wouldn't but she is perfectly happy to have the house to herself and is very mature for her age

Mine was 13 a few weeks ago.
I'd leave him 9am-4pm while I'm at work, 18 months ago I was leaving him 6.45pm - 9.15pm while I took ds1 somewhere for a 3 month period and will now happily leave him for a couple of hours in the evening as and when.

I have a job and secondary schools don't offer wraparound childcare, so at least 2.5 hours after school and all day during the holidays. Eldest was doing this from the age of 11.

13 year old here stays on his own for a few hours here and there and is fine. I'm not sure he'd be happy alone overnight yet but it's more about what they're ready for than any set age.

It really depends on the child, how mature and reponsible he is

That's true but it is also worth remembering that how mature and responsible they are is invariably related to how much you empower them to be mature and responsible.

I dont have a 13 yr old yet but when mine are 13 I will have no issues leaving them all day.

We leave DD (14) for longer periods of time - sometimes all day while we're out, but not as long as that if we're further than 20/30 minutes drive away. If she's looking after DS (9) it tends to be a couple of hours max.

We've been leaving her since she started secondary school, only for short periods in the beginning, and only over the past 6 months have we let her look after DS.

Occasional all day while at work (but I tend to arrange things for them to do in the holidays because I don't want them sitting on tech all day long every day.)

For several hours evenings and weekends. If we're out for the evening with friends, I trust them to go to bed by themselves at a sensible time - and they do!

Are you this overprotective in other areas of his life? Do you let him go to town/cinema/swimming with friends or cook meals unsupervised or use public transport alone, manage his own money etc? At 13 he should be well on the way to learning how to be independent. In the long run being overprotective won't do him any favours at all.

13yo has been left along for 3-4 hours at a time since he was 12. I’d leave him all day if I needed to, but never had to. I trust him, and he’s fairly sensible. Only time I wouldn’t leave him for long is if he’s ill.

Where we live it is illegal to leave a dc home alone under the age of 14.

Where we live it is illegal to leave a dc home alone under the age of 14.

Where's that out of interest? How do people hold down a job? Is there childcare for older kids?

Wherre is it illegal to leave children under. 14? That would be a totally ridiculous rule in any country where women have jobs.

I would leave a 13 year old while I was at work, im surprised you've manged so far.

Depends on the individual.
My oldest when he was 13, I couldn't leave him for an hour.
Youngest now 13, I leave him all day with no problems. He's able to make food, has keys, and knows the rules.
Started a few years ago leaving him for shorter periods of time and a neighbour keeping an ear out.

I think it's new Zealand where its illegal to leave under 14s alone.

I've left my dc for two hours after school and all day in the holidays from 11 years old. There's no school holiday care for 13 year old children where I live.

I'd babysit my two younger siblings all day over the school holidays at that age and often on Friday nights. I was mature for my age though and could cook for myself by 11 and would catch the bus to the local swimming pool, cinema with school friends etc. I guess I had quite a lot of independence and freedom early on (I'm 36 now).

My DS has been left all day since he was at secondary school (so 11). If he has an inset day and I don’t (in fact they’ve never matched up), he is at home while I go to work.

Wow okay so maybe I'm a bit out of touch.
Did I say he is only 13 and 1month and an only child so no other person here.
I'm self employed so during the holidays I limit my work but when I do have to go in he goes to the in-laws.

He's pretty good really. Never an issue with not doing what he's told. He mostly sticks to the rules when I have left him.
I appreciate the reply's.