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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is committing benefit fraud

317 replies

Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:19

My sister has 2 kids and is in a relationship with their father who earns around 50k per year. They all live together in privately rented accommodation (in his name) however my sister pretends to still live with the kids at my parent’s house so she can claim benefits.
They have horrendous debts between them because they live totally outwith their means (2 nice cars on finance, holidays on credit cards, eating out multiple times a week etc. The children are very spoilt with toys and clothes too).

I love my sister but I feel total rage at this situation. I know I should just keep my nose out of it but it all just feels so wrong. AIBU to want to anonymously dob her in?!

OP posts:
BlythesEyes · 19/02/2019 17:22

Every time I see something like this I think about all of the people waiting for houses/operations/drugs they can't have. People on wards in hospitals with a shortage of staff, schools without provisions etc etc... people who cheat benefits cheat everyone including their own families. They are the first to complain if they had to wait excess time for an ambulance, need the police, or pot holes in roads. If nobody cheated they'd be more money for others less fortunate. (Maybe this is a bit simplistic but it makes my blood boil....it's stealing)

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 17:22

@Lyralala the addresses are within a 2 minute walk and same catchment area. She has my niece’s friends from school over to play at the rented house though which is stupid of her as one of the parents could get wind of what she’s up to and drop her in it. Spoken to my mum about it all just now and made it very clear that she needs to stop facilitating it or she could get herself into a lot of trouble. I’ll speak to my sister when she’s back from her second holiday of the year so far!

OP posts:
Obviouspretzel · 19/02/2019 17:23

@WTFisgoingoninmyhead

Brilliant! All's well that ends well then, glad to know her and her kids are fucked!

WFTisgoingoninmyhead · 19/02/2019 17:24

Itsallpeachyfornow
I am a lot nicer than her and her thieving children that’s for sure, OP I do hope you see sense and stop this entitled excuse for a sister rob our country and our needy and poor any longer.

SunnyTikka · 19/02/2019 17:34

Report her. Or report him. They are as bad as each other. They are committing crime. You are facilitating them.

Edmund Burke: the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 17:37

Quite a few PP’s on here have told me my nieces could be taken into care if I report it as it’s likely my sister would get a prison sentence for the length of time she’s been doing it.
If it were anyone else doing this then I would 100% report them. I’m just scared that I could cause serious destruction to my nieces lives

OP posts:
SunnyTikka · 19/02/2019 17:39

And actually, all the posters on here who think she should be allowed to commit this crime - what if everyone did the same? What if none of us worked and we all just scammed and committed fraud? What then? What if no one bothered doing a good days work so no taxes were paid? Unbelievable. You should all be ashamed.

If a crime is committed against you, don’t bother calling the police. It’s okay for people to do what the hell they like apparently.

lyralalala · 19/02/2019 17:39

@ellabella989 Your Mum won't get in trouble. Neither will your sister's partner. This is the bit your sister needs to realise - she and she alone will end up in trouble for this. The overpayment will be hers and the criminal record will be hers and hers alone.

It's how abusive men can end up with a hold over their other halves once people stupidly get into the thought of claiming for "just a few weeks" and then keep it going. The only person committing a crime is the one signing the forms and all of the weight of the fraud lands on her shoulders.

She'd be incredibly vulnerable if they ever had a nasty split as he'd have that over her (and I know someone who did that to try and get residency of his kids - reported his ex and told everyone that was why they'd split up because he found out)

formerbabe · 19/02/2019 17:41

Their behaviour is disgraceful but no way would I report anyone, least of all family.

lyralalala · 19/02/2019 17:41

Your nieces won't be taken into care if they have a father, grandparents or family who will care for them.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 17:45

@lyralala they already have a very unstable relationship and he is really controlling. I’m sure he knows full well that he has a hold over her with it all

OP posts:
ethelfleda · 19/02/2019 17:51

No advice OP but just want to sympathise - what a predicament!!
I absolutely believe you should report benefit fraud if you’re aware of it... but to the detriment of your neice’s home life? I’m not so sure!
What are the chances that someone else knows about this situation and may end up reporting her?

lyralalala · 19/02/2019 17:54

@ellabella989 Do you not think mentioning that he was controlling might have been helpful earlier in the thread?

Two very different scenarios.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 17:55

@lyralala controlling is probably the wrong choice of word. They argue a lot but would never leave each other because he would be too jealous of her meeting someone else, and she doesn’t want to have to move back in with my parents and start from scratch again

OP posts:
blackteasplease · 19/02/2019 17:56

Well it's very wrong - illegal and immoral. And she probably will get caught.

But I wouldn't get involved. No good would come of it.

blackteasplease · 19/02/2019 18:00

So often there's a horrible controlling man in these situations though

Surfingtheweb · 19/02/2019 18:00

Any other situation I'd say tell on them but not your own sister!! Never mind paying it back she could be sent to prison. You should sit her down & tell her how wrong it is & what the penalty is she faces.

27dresses · 19/02/2019 18:00

If he's controlling, do you think he's financially abusive?

Some women make single claims because that's the only money they have coming in. Their partners avoid supporting them even though they unable to work due to childcare responsibilities.

ForTheLoveOfDoughnuts · 19/02/2019 18:00

So what if they have debt. Why should the tax payer being paying off their debt and funding their luxuries! I'd report her

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 18:03

@27dresses I don’t think he is as he’s always taking them out for meals and he buys her presents a lot etc. He also pays for the rent, bills, food etc me pays for her car on finance. The money she gets from the benefits goes on buying the kids loads of crap or putting it towards holidays. They have a lot of debt between them as they lived totally outwith their means for years and years to keep up with all of their rich friends Hmm

OP posts:
BejamNostalgia · 19/02/2019 18:04

She’s going to get caught. Absolutely nailed on she will.

My DH works in an industry where this used to be common practice because so many men regularly worked away and they’ve not been able to get away with it for years. They’re also being very hot on men avoiding paying child maintenance by hiding income as both filter through the same system.

There isn’t even any need for them to be reported.

BerensteinBear · 19/02/2019 18:08

To the pp who said ctc would be @£60 per week, surely it would be a lot more than that? Then you have extras free such as prescriptions, dental treatment, etc.

I would have no hesitation in reporting. I cannot understand the morals on MN when it's seen as worse to report someone for fraud than the act of benefit fraud itself.

Roussette · 19/02/2019 18:10

I don't get it either. I find it quite shocking TBH

caringcarer · 19/02/2019 18:12

Your sister is effectively stealing from people who really need the money just to get by. It is not an unlimited pot. She is also setting a dreadful example for her children who will learn it is ok to cheat and steal. Your Mum and yourself are enabling this behaviour and your nieces will see and note this too. It makes me sick. I hope she is caught and made to repay the money. An elderly lady near me is almost blind and yet can only have a home help for 15 mins each day to help her to get dressed. Not enough funding because CF like your sister steal funding away from those who truly need it. You are all in it together and as bad as each other.

CaseofEllen · 19/02/2019 18:14

YANBU