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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask if it is normal to call to say you are in front of a McDonalds?

111 replies

Flyingfish2019 · 19/02/2019 10:44

My husband really likes us cell phone and he calls people all of the time, calls me all of the time, looks at funny pictures, plays cell phone games and so on...

So he phoned me to tell me he was in front of a McDonalds and he was going to go in. AIBU to think this is odd?

AIBU to ask you if you think there is some deeper sense like he might be sad, stressed, afraid or do people just do this nowadays and is it just normal and I suck at being a millennial because I don’t do this.
(He told me he wasn’t afraid or sad).

OP posts:
Emeraldshamrock · 19/02/2019 11:06

My DP rings for random things, I don't see an issue with it.
Do you generally over think things.

BarbaraofSevillle · 19/02/2019 11:07

Like I said, he's interrupting you when you're busy, that's the problem.

Would one of those Alexa things or similar be a solution here, so you can chat to him without breaking off from cooking, dressing DCs etc?

MsSquiz · 19/02/2019 11:07

My DH rings me often when he's in the car because he's bored and fancies a chat. Nothing more to it. Sometimes I'll chat with him, sometimes I'm in the middle something so I tell him and we finish the call.

I don't understand the issue?

On the subject of McDonalds (or any other takeaway or shop) DH will ring to ask if I need him to pick anything up (I work from home so makes sense for him to bring things in) or do I fancy a burger? I wouldn't even give it a 2nd thought!

NorthEndGal · 19/02/2019 11:07

Would it make a difference if he was calling as often on a landline?
Is it the cell, per se, that is the issue, or is it that he checks in too often?

lisamac28 · 19/02/2019 11:07

Yes I would find this annoying if it was several times a day and pointless questions. Just don't answer sometimes and maybe he'll cut the calls down.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 19/02/2019 11:08

If it bothers you that he is interrupting your day surely the sensible thing to do is say hey why don't you text me instead of calling and then I can answer easily once I have finished with this job.

The not very sensible thing to do is to suggest he is afraid or sad just because he is getting in contact with you. Hmm

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 19/02/2019 11:08

@M4J4 He calls me four or five times a day. When he goes shopping he often calls me several times to ask some silly question.

OP posts:
DishingOutDone · 19/02/2019 11:08

Flying my DH does this. It is part of his (many) issues, its not about what yoghurt you want etc. I can completely identify with it. Unless you've been in this situation then other posters might not "get" it. Its like a sort of neediness crossed with a control thing. Does he do other odd stuff?

Sparklesocks · 19/02/2019 11:09

Maybe you could mention to him it's nice that he calls you regularly to check in but you're really busy in the day, could he maybe send you a text/whatsapp note instead? It sounds like partly he might be bored, I know a few people who call others to chat shit when they're bored - and I once sat through a 3 hour coach journey where the bloke in front described his day at the Ideal Homes show to about 10 people in his contacts…I guess that’s how he chose to entertain himself on the long trip..!

JuniperNarni · 19/02/2019 11:10

You don't sound very compatible.
He's doing nothing wrong, and I very much doubt there's a hidden agenda.
You're not in the wrong either though in finding it annoying. Just have a simple chat with him and tell him?

Also Confused at the millenials thing

TacoLover · 19/02/2019 11:10

Calling to ask if you wanted something from McDonald's is a normal and considerate thing to doConfused

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 19/02/2019 11:10

@BarbaraofSeville Can you answer a call with Alexa without using your hands? Sorry for the stupid question.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 19/02/2019 11:11

He also might not feel confident shopping that he’s getting the right stuff so calls you to check. Does he struggle with confidence/making decisions?

PeanutButterIsOneWord · 19/02/2019 11:12

I love a random chat about little things my partner, family and friends are doing. And I would be personally offended if my partner had McDonald's and didn't offer to bring me and the kids any.

I don't think either of you ABU, just have different preferences for chatting about crap on the phone.

If it's really bothering you ask him to call you less or tell him you can't talk because you're busy.

Emeraldshamrock · 19/02/2019 11:12

If it is claustrophobic for you, You're NBU to talk to him, tell him to calm it.
I don't think he is sad or worried, some folk love talking on the phone, some don't.
Meet in the middle and be honest with him.

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 19/02/2019 11:13

@Dishingoutdone What kind of issues does he have?

OP posts:
Halloumimuffin · 19/02/2019 11:14

It sounds like he just prefers to call as his method of communication. I would send a whatsapp to ask what sort of yoghurt someone wants, but some people prefer to ring as they think they get an answer quicker.

I message my partner about random crap all the time. I think it's normal.

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 19/02/2019 11:15

@Emeraldshamrock I told him several times to please only call me if his question/info is important. I really do love to talk to him but I am often busy and I hate to be called just because he wants to tell me there is a construction site on XY road now.

OP posts:
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 19/02/2019 11:15

What kind of issues does he have?

Why do you assume your partner has issues just because one poster said her DH did this as part of his issues? Most posters here have said that its a perfectly normal thing to do not linked to some issues? Hmm

RedForShort · 19/02/2019 11:15

Isn't he on Facebook? If not encourage him to register - then hope he'll start checking in everywhere:

"Flyingfish2019(MaleVersion) is outside McDonald and going in".

Though there's the risk he'll call you to tell you he's updated his status.

GabsAlot · 19/02/2019 11:16

nothing to do with being millenial most dont even use the phone for actual calls anymore

maybe his anxiety affects him so he has to physcially cal you rather than texting

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 19/02/2019 11:17

@Headsdown.... I was asking her what kind of issues HER dh had because she said her dh has issues.

OP posts:
burritofan · 19/02/2019 11:17

Ask him to text you instead of phoning. That way you can decide whether it's important enough to you to answer, and texts are less interrupty than calls. (Though DP texts all the live-long day and tbh, I stick him on mute during the workday, it's never anything that can't wait.)

His calls sound reasonable – do you want McDs, what type of yoghurt, I'm going to be late – but if it's endless it's irritating. (But no way for him to know you don't have yoghurt preferences or don't want McDs unless he asks.) Nothing whatsoever to do with being a millennial though?

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 19/02/2019 11:18

@Redforshort Grin... but I guess you are right: he would call me to tell me he has update his status then.

OP posts:
babyworry2018 · 19/02/2019 11:18

I don't think this is strange except that it's one sided. Now-DH and I got in the habit of speaking several times a day when we were in along distance relationship - we'd call first thing to say good morning, then usually for a few minutes at lunchtime, then on the way home, to say goodnight etc. It was because short regular chats are more like how you communicate if you're together rather than long hour-long conversations where you feel you need to be discussing things when you're actually both tired.

To be honest we've more or less kept it up: if I'm in the shop and wondering if he'd like something I'll ring- it takes thirty seconds- if I see something interesting on a walk that I'd point out to him if he was with me I might call as well. Obviously if either of us is busy we don't, but if I'm bored and on my own and he's just pottering at home I'd ring him. But then he'd ring me back. What's strange is it obviously annoys you and he continues to do it, but it just sounds like you've different communication styles.

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