To worry that DS 13mo may have ASD or something else?

[Februaryblooms]

DS is 13 months, I know that's still extremely young but I can't shake the feeling that something is a bit different about him. My worries are compounded by DP's older child having been confirmed as ASD and DP is most definitely on the spectrum albeit undiagnosed.

DS doesn't respond to his name being called, even if I get down to his height and say his name repeatedly he'll look straight past me and won't make eye contact, just try to squirm away. He's obsessed with the wheels on his toy cars and will sit spinning them for ages but doesn't actually play with them. He doesn't wave and doesn't clap, he doesn't point. He's not very affectionate and hates being held and cuddled. He never sits still to interact with us, he just wants to be left to his own devices.

His hearing is fine by the way, there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with his hearing at all. If he hears a theme tune from the other room he'll come straight in and go to the tv.

He hasn't started talking yet, the only 'words' he says is "mmmummum" but only the noise, he doesn't associate it to me. He did say "dadadadad" for a week or so but hasn't since.

Some reaasuring signs would be that he likes playing boo when he's in the mood, and laughs and runs when me and DP pretend to hide and chase him. He's walking well, feeding himself well, sleeping well.

I spend hours every day trying to interact with him and teach him words, objects etc but he has absolutely no interest in me at all

AIBU to be worrying about this so early on?

I think the best thing to do is to try and see the Portage team that a pp mentioned. I think you can self refer. We’ve had a few appointments and they do some of the legwork for you ie chasing up appointments, referrals etc. I can’t fault them.

Just want to mention that my HV has been bloody brilliant. It’s unfair to tar them all based on some people’s experiences (my HV with my older child wasn’t that good so I know it’s swings and roundabouts) but I would make them your first point of call

My story is sort of a positive one I feel. At the age of 3, I was told he would never be able to. Talk, read or write. Would have to go to a special needs school etc etc

He's almost 10 now. His speech is fine. He does struggle to communicate but that's because he doesn't understand emotion very well. His speech and language therapist sees him maybe every 6 months now.

He can read. He can write. His hand writing is lovely. His drawings are AMAZING.

He goes to a mainstream primary. He has special 1:1 help and if working at a lower level to the other kids in his class but he in no way needs to be in a special needs school. Secondary school is a different matter, it's my next hurdle with him. But we will be fine.

He was diagnosed aged 5. He's just got there in his own time in all honesty.

My advice to anyone who thinks they may have an asd child is don't push them. They do everything in their own time. My son just learnt to ride a bike a few months ago. Yes it's a lot later than the majority of kids but who cares? He can do it now! And I couldn't be prouder.

I honestly used to drive myself mad with trying to get my son to do stuff. All those things I used to spend hours and hours trying to get him to do, he did eventually.

I'd definitely recommend the drop in if you can find one, they are usually very informal, no appointment needed etc etc.

Also I'd try the tv thing. You mention your son struggles to look at you. My son used to be the same. However the tv he sat and watched no problem. He could learn words by not really having any communication with me - if you get me, like looking at the tv and just listening to my voice. I used baby tv on sky. They say too much tv is bad but it's tv that taught my son to speak!

I totally understand what you mean about him talking in full sentences. That's all I wanted my son to do. Even if he does have a delay in getting there, he will still communicate with you in his own way and you will be able to communication back with him. Honestly your bond with him will end up being closer than you ever thought it could be

I have a 12 year old with suspected ASD and was expecting to say its too early to tell but those do sound like early indicators.

My DS is the loveliest little boy I could have wished for, he is blissfully happy at home in his own world but hates school. School has been a challenge - he hasn't got a diagnosis so in earlier years we had teachers argue it was bad behaviour. An Ed Psych disagreed with them and as he has got older its so obvious he's ASD no teacher now longer questions it - took 15 teddies to school each day at 10 who he would arrange each day, dancing at his favourite number etc though I did get a call from Head the other day saying he's barking like a dog as distressed hands over his ears is that an asd thing or just behaviour?

They can be very happy - he also has good friends but is very cautious about making them but they are really lovely. He does always have identical categories of friends and tells me he seeks identical friends, often gentle intelligent Asian boys and quiet girls. Think some of louder kids do tease him though school are good at dealing with it, only serious case we've had, other boy disappeared permanently. Mine was an obsessive cuddler but they tend to go either way.

at this stage it's more about missing milestones!

Do you mean physical milestones? My son did everything on schedule, or early -smiling, rolling, crawling, walking etc.

Agree with others he sounds like he could have ASD. It’s good you’re looking into interventions and diagnosis now so you’re ready when he’s old enough to be diagnosed. The lack of interaction is a big sign, but speech not so much (DS did not speak until 15 months).

Mine talked at 10 months but not uncommon for asd to start talking at 3 and then they don't stop sometimes, mine can talk for an hour non stop if you get the right topic, like how they will be a YouTube millionaire 😎. I wouldn't worry about him not talking at 13 months.

I'm on my way out to the shops so I'm gonna pop into that specialist children's centre and see if there's anything they can help with, be it SALT at this age or just advice.

I almost feel a bit silly and keep second guessing myself being concerned so early on, I don't want professionals to think I have munchausens syndrome or am being ridiculously pre emptive

Was he premature at all? My son was premature and didn't wave or respond to his name every single time till about 22 months, he seemed to ignore me and not understand me and I was so worried and then one day it just clicked and he caught up. He started speaking at 17 months old and by 22 months was on about 100 words and could count. Apparently its normal for toddlers to display some signs of asd and it's about whether they outgrow them, like echolalia is something toddlers do when they're learning to talk but it's also a sign of asd.

Hi,

He was born at 38+4 so wasn't premature no, what is echolalia please?
Im Not familiar with that term I'll have to look it up! @MrMakersFartyParty

I don't have any experience of ASD, so can't comment on that.

But wanted to pop on and DS was the same with wheels! He would happily flick them round and round for ages. I found he liked twisty tops - so gave him old plastic milk bottles with the lids to play with. And he loved a game which was wooden cogs on a board that you could soon round. Also loved a water wheel you could stick on the side of the bath.

He was never much of a waver either.

Ah yes I've just looked up echolalia, it's the mimicking of another's speech isn't it?

He doesn't really do that, unless you count the "mummummumm" noise which I spent forever trying to teach him. He barely repeats that back to me now when I encourage him to, but will do it occasionally on his own

@BocolateChiscuits my DS has one of those wooden boards with the cogs which you turn, too! He absolutely loves it. It's his second preference after the wheels on his cars.

It's good to know that those fascinations aren't always a sure fire sign of ASD

I've just been into the specialist children's centre I mentioned earlier and they said I needed a referral to access the services and recommended the GP like a PP here did, so I'm going to give the GP a call too.

@BenjiB bless you you've done amazing x

It’s true that he’s too young to really benefit from any intervention or assessment yet. Even speech and language clinics aren’t really going to be able to assess a 13 month old. Torturous as it is, I think you’re going to have to watch and wait for a little longer.

I had concerns about my son between 12-18m when his speech just didn’t start developing. And he’s my second child, so I had a very verbal older sibling to compare him with. Well meaning people always say they’ll catch up, boys are lazy, his big sister dominates and doesn’t let him get a word in edgeways (true!) but... I was worried. I chased up his two year check with the HV because he wasn’t saying a word. So far we’ve done the speech and language drop in thing, referral to a S&L playgroup, referral to a SALT and referral to a paed.

The funny thing about him is he doesn’t have many huge blaring signs of autism, and yet he is noticeably different. He’s 3.9 now. Only just starting to put together sentences of 5-6 words. Frequent echolalia. Doesn’t greet or interact with staff at preschool. But eye contact is good, he’s social and affectionate with family... so it’s hard to tell.

We’ve just had a second paed appointment and for the first time autism has been mentioned (I mean I’ve mentioned it loads, hoping for reassurance that it’s not... the professionals haven’t wanted to say one way or the other). Social and communication difficulties. He’s now on the waiting list for a multi-disciplinary clinic where a bunch of professionals (paed, SALT, psychologist maybe?) assess him for autism. If he ticks enough boxes then he’ll get a diagnosis, I guess.

Preschool have been very reassuring and have said there are lots of positives to his behaviour: he sits for circle time, he follows instructions. But they of course can see he isn’t on the same level as other children his age.

Sorry for blathering on. Just sharing my experience of the whole NHS treadmill, if it even helps

It does help to hear others experiences yes @Haworthia thank you

I've just had a call back from the health visitor and she's going to come and see him on 13th March to do what she called an age appropriate review.

She said it would be too early to assess for ASD yet as they like to give children plenty of time to catch up, but given the family history and things I've mentioned she can see why im concerned and thinks it will be beneficial to document those concerns, review his progress and see how he gets on over the next year so when he has a 2 year review we have something more recent to compare against.

It’s true that he’s too young to really benefit from any intervention or assessment yet.

13 months is not too early for intervention. There is a lot OP could do in terms of communication.

but truth to be said, it will have to come from the parents anyways. Most NHS areas will over very little / next to nothing. DD has severe Asd (also LDs and severe Salt issues). She is 11. we had 3 or 4 sessions of (useless OT) and 8 or 9 sessions SALT on the NHS in total. We did (and do) a lot privately though which makes a difference.

In meantime plug in something special and do baby signing makaton.
.it won't harm speech development and will help communication

I've just had a quick look on YouTube at baby makaton whilst waiting for tea to cook. I'm going to give that a go.

My only concern is that he isn't mimicking the standard gestures such as waving, clapping etc. no matter how much I try to coach him to copy so I'm dubious as to whether he'd pick it up.

Definitely worth a try though

I’ve learned some makaton, and do use it with ds, but he doesn’t seem to have picked it up. It’s like he doesn’t realise his hands and my hands can do the same thing yet. If we do ‘happy and you know it’ he will get my hands and clap them together at the right parts, but won’t clap his own.

That's exactly how it seems with my DS @HalfBloodPrincess he hasn't learned that his hands can do what mine do.

It's great that your boy is grabbing yours to clap them though, he clearly has an understanding. I'd be chuffed if mine did that at this stage

Choose one sign like "more " or "milk" and do hand over hand prompt him.every time. In some weeks time he will copy.

Also pecs is good (picture exchange communication). Basically you could have 2 pictures of juice. One orange, one black currant and he has to point to the one he wants.

Also bubbles are great for encouraging speech!! If you blow some bubbles, let him pop them etc then say 'more' or 'again' a few times and then try prompt him to say it. He's too young for this now but if you get further on and his speech hasn't improved then that's a great tip I was given. They might not be able to say 'more' or 'again' but may be able to make some sort of sound to show they understand you are asking if they want more. The words come eventually

Crying reading this as i could have written this. My son is now 2.5 (but was extremely premature) and has no language, no verbsl understanding, did nothing but spin wheels for 9 months (though has outgrown this), doesnt wave, point, say yes or no or respond to his name. We are having a multi agency meeting this week and im dreading it. On the plus side, he makes good eye contact, plays back & forth games (when hes in the mood), shows empathy by crying whenever another child does (even on tv!) And tho he flaps, this is reducing and its only when he is excited. I dont care about the academic side of it, i just eant to hear my baby talk and for him to have friends as he grows up. Im a nervous wteck about this meeting but i have known something is wtong for a long time.

Can you stop "coaching" and just enjoy being with him? You can tune in to him and his own way of communicating.

My DS has just turned 2 and at this point we're developing our own little language. Led by him. He has his own distinct gestures and words/sounds. I can see on his face the delight he has when I understand what he's trying to communicate.

What I mean is please stop stressing out and coaching. Take a breath, step back, listen and observe more than you speak or lead. Follow his lead. He will surprise you.