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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why people without kids are on mumsnet?

253 replies

Workingmummyguilt · 17/02/2019 18:37

Just that really, noticed recently lots of posts from people where poster says they don’t have kids/don’t want kids/ no plans to have kids etc and just wondering why, then, they are on the forum in the first place. Not saying they shouldn’t be , hey whatever floats your boat and wouldn’t tell anyone what they can/can’t do , just I don’t really understand why you’d want to be ...

OP posts:
Dotty1970 · 18/02/2019 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

pigsDOfly · 18/02/2019 14:22

One of the reasons people might get irritated by this question is that if the poster posing the question just took a look around the site before posting they'd see that it's full of diverse subjects and many different types of people.

The vast majority of subject bear no relationship to being a parent so why would they think it odd that many of the posters on the site are not parents.

The last person who posted this question that I read said exactly the same thing: 'Not saying they shouldn't be' (on the site), and as I said to that poster, or something similar, I'm sure that it's a great relief to all of us on here who don't have children to know that you're largely okay with our presence on the site.

I'm so please to hear that OP.

pinkgloves · 18/02/2019 14:23

Off you fuck back to nethuns then Dotty. (Need a door slamming ass on the way out emoji on Mumsnet.)

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 18/02/2019 14:24

And if you want to know why your question can be so hurtful to some of us, go and take a look at some of the infertility/miscarriage boards and try asking them why they are on a site 'for parents'

Yes, and the ones for people with life limiting illnesses.

It’s not generally a case of being fed up by this question (though it is boring) it’s a case of being really quite hurt by it. The Mean Girls comparison is a good one.

pinkgloves · 18/02/2019 14:24

Really though, I've asked a couple of times and not been answered, what other forum has this much traffic? I can't even find one in the US either!

JustAnotherPoster00 · 18/02/2019 14:37

Eh, duh, because the vibrator's on charge and I've no diazepam left.

That comment wins the internet Grin

ShirleyPhallus · 18/02/2019 14:39

Most of you are a bunch of bitches. So nasty and rude.
9 pages long on something your fed up of!

*You’re Wink

ShatnersWig · 18/02/2019 14:40

Most of you are a bunch of bitches

And the rest of us presumably comprise the nest of vipers. Presumably all the male MNetters are in this category?

pinkgloves · 18/02/2019 14:43

Ragnor got killed by a nest of vipers. Grin Mmmmm.

MansAlwaysCold · 18/02/2019 14:48

Not bitches necessarily, but a lot of us have very personal reasons for being here, we may have been here for a long time and contributed to, supported and offered advice to lots of posters. Some of us have been here through the biggest and hardest experiences of our lives and sometimes the people on MN are the only people we've shared it with. It's tiring, annoying and just plain rude to be questioned as to why we'd be here by the 'new mum' constantly.

Just look around first and it should be fairly obvious to you.

ShatnersWig · 18/02/2019 14:52

@Mans Quite. What gets me is that even if you can't be arsed to look around the site for five minutes and see how parenting only accounts for about 5% of all Talk threads, anyone with a bit of common sense could think why some non-parents would be here - three that immediately spring to mind are people who would like to have kids in future, people who don't want kids but work with kids (teachers being an obvious ones) and people who are godparents but don't have children of their own.

They don't think because they don't actually care and they always protest but in most cases their follow up postings make it abundantly clear what they think. And yes, they nearly always have mummy in their name too as a PP said.

noraclavicle · 18/02/2019 14:53

*And if you want to know why your question can be so hurtful to some of us, go and take a look at some of the infertility/miscarriage boards and try asking them why they are on a site 'for parents'

Yes, and the ones for people with life limiting illnesses.

It’s not generally a case of being fed up by this question (though it is boring) it’s a case of being really quite hurt by it. The Mean Girls comparison is a good one.*

Yes, you’d think this would be blindingly obvious from the briefest scan of the boards, but it seems there’s a plethora of ‘original’ posters out there with neither wit nor empathy.

M4J4 · 18/02/2019 14:54

@pinkgloves

The next person to say 'mummy' gets a kick in the minge.

What about mama bear? Grin

Fabaunt · 18/02/2019 14:56

I found mumsnet while I was pregnant. Unfortunately my baby was born sleeping, however I liked reading other women’s opinions and the varying differences people face while trying to raise a family, hold down a job and deal with their first baby, DP.

I like that women support each other and also give each other a kick in the bum when it’s needed. I can’t bear the thoughts that women aren’t supposed to have an opinion or are somehow “lacking” if they haven’t had children.

Mumsnet is primarily women, and I would see it more as a huge women’s chat than a mum thing.

Bluntness100 · 18/02/2019 15:01

The op is written on such a way that indicates does not actually think any one other than mums should be on here. It's quite odd and I think it's very hard to use the site and only see thr parenting bits.

Personally my daughter is 21 and I joined because a friend sent me a link to a funny thread, and I was instantly addicted.

I think thr site name, and descriptor, does it a disservice, because it's way more than what it says, or what it was originally conceived as, now. I also think the title might deter some folks looking it up, because you'd think it really was just for mums looking for parenting advice, and that's clearly not all it is.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 18/02/2019 15:07

My God, what a boring question. Didn't we just get asked this in December?
Here have a Biscuit

pinkgloves · 18/02/2019 15:31

What about mama bear? 

Don't. Just DON'T. EnvyGrin

IDoN0tCare · 18/02/2019 15:48

I really hope they never change the name, as it will end up being taken over by men. I know there are a lot of lovely men on here and they do treat the female members with respect, but most of us know what happens when there is a huge number of males on a site.

Btw, I’ve never given birth but I’ve four adult children. Where do I fit?

Nampoo · 18/02/2019 15:52

I have no kids & don't & never have had a desire to have any but I do have a relationship & I do have a cat & sometimes there's even the odd funny story on here which I think is how I discovered it

loobyloo1234 · 18/02/2019 15:53

Chris these threads are fucking tedious. People with nothing else to do start them. The holier than thou, I am perfect ones

Skirmisher · 18/02/2019 15:56

Women who describe themselves as a 'mama bear' should be locked in a cellar along with their 'Live, Love, Laugh' decals.

Slowknitter · 18/02/2019 15:59

It only takes a 10 second glance at the topics list to see that the majority of the site isn't actually about parenting, OP.

If you are 'of parenting age', even if you're not a parent, you are likely to have plenty of interests in common with lots of the gazillions of members of such a big and diverse site which covers such a lot of areas of life. So if you have no kids and are looking for general stimulating chat, MN is a good choice even though it started as a site about parenting.

AutumnCrow · 18/02/2019 16:01

Tiger momma? Or tigga momma maybe.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/02/2019 16:07

YABVVU. People don't just discuss their kids on here. Infact I very rearly talk about my dd, on here at least.
There are lots of topics on here that have nothing to do with kids.
Eg Style and Beauty. The litter tray and of course the Conception thread.
designed to support those who may not yet be mothers
I have zero zilch nada intentions of having another baby. The thought makes me shiver, but I often get involved in the baby name threads, if that's okay with you, mind.Hmm

Buddytheelf85 · 18/02/2019 16:20

YANBU. Women are divided into two camps - mothers and non-mothers. The former are a homogenous group defined only by their experience as mothers (not by their careers or interests). The latter can’t relate to the former because they’re not ‘mamas’.

Or, you know, maybe the women (and men) who use MN are a diverse group of human beings with lots of different interests other than parenting.