Buggies and Babies and Buses (oh my!)

[Hollanda]

OK. AIBU?

My nearly 2 year old daughter is in her buggy. (Odd that as she's little more than a baby). We get on the bus. I like the seat usually reserved for wheelchairs as she faces me and we can chatter (her speech is great for her age and it's easy to think she's closer to 3 than 2).

Anyway on this occasion the space is taken by a woman with a toddler of 3 on her knee and the buggy not folded. Because the bus is full, several folk from the actual buggy area have to move to let me and my (sleeping) daughter on the bus.

AIBU giving toddler sitting on knee woman a good death stare and inwardly thinking about gauging her eyes out with a rusty spoon??? I wouldn't give this headspace usually but yesterday was bloody awful and I'm still all cross about it!!!

Reverse, maybe? That's the only reason I can think of for this thread.

Reverse, maybe? That's the only reason I can think of for this thread.

In that case, both women were unreasonable. The woman sitting in the OP's favourite spot, for occupying a wheel chair space, and the OP for wanting to occupy a wheelchair space.

So it really doesn't matter whether it's a reverse or not. THey're both selfish & disablist.

CatandtheFiddle, most buses I've ever been on have a wheelchair space that doubles up as a buggy space.

But priority is given to wheelchair users.

Agh crabby and odd. I've not been myself for a couple of days, period pain and irritable. I got a seat which has to be a bonus and like I said, yesterday was a shit day. I'm tired and crabby and being VFU.

Bleugh no sleep and being in pain and anxiety play with your head. I'm not a troll. ..asked a question and yes. IABVFU. Ah well life lesson!

Apologies. I can't sleep. I'm at breakdown point. :'(

No honestly sleep depravation and pain and stress. Just me being an entitled cow. I honestly feel absolutely crap. There doesn't seem any end to it sometimes.

If I see her again I will apologise. I'm not usually a bitch or entitled. I'm just shattered and easily cross. :(

Get yeself to bed OP.

We've all been there

@Talkingfrog I definitely haven't requested someone come downstairs for me
Sorry.you misunderstood me. I meant I feel your pain at having to deal with issues over an empty buggy taking up space. I too had to and the driver called the person down from upstairs for me so that I could get on the bus.

The woman sitting in the OP's favourite spot, for occupying a wheel chair space
It's only specifically a wheelchair space if a person using a wheelchair gets on, otherwise it's a wheelchair space that can be used by buggies, or people sitting or standing

Yikes.

I have twin boys who are also 2, both have ASD and one has a visual impairment. It’s pretty much impossible for me to use buses at all these days - their double buggy takes up the whole of the available space (wheelchair space only) so if someone is already on with a buggy I can’t get on, and if someone got on with a wheelchair I’d have to get off the bus completely. There’s no way I could take both of them out of the buggy, fold it and then keep them safe for even a short journey.

I would be delighted to have buses with two separate places that can be used by buggies if there are no wheelchair users needing it. I certainly wouldn’t get annoyed with someone for sitting somewhere I wanted to sit.

I don’t drive so being unable to use buses is a huge problem for us. My DH works from home and any time we have to be anywhere by a specific time (eg hospital appointment) he has to drop everything and drive us. I wish the biggest issue I had with buses is someone sitting in the seat I wanted!

🍪

OP

There is something about having to use bus travel that can make one feel unreasonably irate.

I was a good 1.5 hours away from home and needed to get back via the bus (2 busses) with a 6 week old baby and temperatures around freezing. I waited for the bus in the cold for about 30 mins. I stuck my arm out for it to stop but the driver was making strange gestures and mouthing something to me. I persisted in calling him so he stopped. He said I couldn’t come aboard unless I folded my pram as there were two already on the bus. I was so desperate that I told him I’d fold it (chassis and carrycot pram). Luckily, one of the pram owners kindly shuffled the pram to the side in the wheelchair spot and there was just about enough room for me to squeeze the pram in and stand next to it in the passageway (all with great difficulty).

It’s a nothing story, all ended well etc etc. Nevertheless, I still feel angry at the passenger who shuffled the pram (though I know I’m being unreasonable because they didn’t have to do anything). I was annoyed because the child in said pram must have been school aged as she swamped the buggy (the leg rest of the seat was broken and bent back, she was basically in a squatting position because her legs were too long and her head was resting on the hood). She sat chatting away and in the pram to her mother. I was annoyed because I felt that pram should have been folded as the child clearly didn’t need it for the bus and it would have been much harder for me to fold my pram with a newborn. Even the idea that I could have waited another 30 mins in the cold with my newborn because someone decided to use an old pram for shopping really gets on my nerves.

But guess what? I know I’m being really stupid and why am I slightly irritated when there was no issue? I think it’s because I’m scared it’ll happen again at some point but they won’t move over or the driver won’t allow it. I think if it did then I would politely ask if they could fold the buggy and put the child on one of the parents’ lap as I was on my own with a newborn...but why am I even still typing about this...

Hollanda- it takes a big person to apologise, and you have done so, I wish you well.

I don't understand what you wanted this other woman to do? Get her toddler to stand on the bus so you can sit and watch your sleeping daughter in her buggy?! Couldn't you have just done that in the buggy area?

I've already said. IWBU. I do not like bus travel but we are lucky here as we have a frequent service and the buses are big.

I was exceptionally tired and ratty when I wrote the OP and managed a good night's sleep last night. Feel entirely different now and a bit silly!!

:) I'm actually not entitled generally and not easily annoyed. I had simply had a couple of bad days where nothing went right. .

Sometimes when life gets too much it’s the simple things like that which can be the tipping point!

Hope you managed to get some sleep last night

Never mind op, glad you got s sleep

Don’t worry Op we all have bad days xx it’s great you can come back and see you were a bit silly. Don’t worry anymore x

I really do not like buses. I take 4 a day, my commute is an hour. If I don't get the connecting bus it's a very big deal for me to be late into work or late homewards as I need to pick up my DS from school on time. Add exhaustion onto the daily stress of buses twice a day and you'll see why I get a bit stabby sometimes lol!!

At the weekends if the weather's nice I'm happier walking into town, plenty of coffee shops on the way to stop in for a break and no stress or hurrying. It isn't anyone's fault really, I get the earliest I can (DS goes to Brexit Club which I pay for) and if necessary school can keep hold of him if I'm 10 mins late (buses do break down, RTAs happen etc). Fortunately although cutting it fine the worst hasn't happened and nobody's died. Apart from me losing my marbles a few times, we're all good lol!!

BREAKFAST CLUB not Brexit Club. Ffs bloody phone.

I got irrationally angry once when someone got on a bus and sat in front of me stinking of some weird super strong all pervading fishy odour (food not BO). I didn't say anything, just wrapped my scarf around my nose, but fuck, was I angry. I had to laugh the next day because even stinky buggers need to travel.

Irrational anger gets us all sometimes. Bus travel can bring it out in the calmest of us I think. You just sound like a normal nice person having a bad moment. Pain makes everything worse too, hope you get to feeling better soon.

A 2/3 year old is a toddler not a baby.

misses point of thread

Hollanda learn to drive then...

Try being on London buses...

Driving wouldn't help sadly. The cost of parking is prohibitive where I work and the city is awful at rush hours!

I said little more than a baby. Not an actual baby lol. She's a darling. They both are. :)