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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Buggies and Babies and Buses (oh my!)

144 replies

Hollanda · 17/02/2019 14:26

OK. AIBU?

My nearly 2 year old daughter is in her buggy. (Odd that as she's little more than a baby). We get on the bus. I like the seat usually reserved for wheelchairs as she faces me and we can chatter (her speech is great for her age and it's easy to think she's closer to 3 than 2).

Anyway on this occasion the space is taken by a woman with a toddler of 3 on her knee and the buggy not folded. Because the bus is full, several folk from the actual buggy area have to move to let me and my (sleeping) daughter on the bus.

AIBU giving toddler sitting on knee woman a good death stare and inwardly thinking about gauging her eyes out with a rusty spoon??? I wouldn't give this headspace usually but yesterday was bloody awful and I'm still all cross about it!!!

OP posts:

eponine8 · 17/02/2019 15:32

Let me guess. You’re new here?

FlibbertyGiblets · 17/02/2019 15:32

Two people, with a small child each, used the bus. The end. Amirite?

Woodwick · 17/02/2019 15:39

Is this a piss take? Otherwise I don't get it.

You like to occupy the space reserved for wheelchair users so you and your talkative not-baby can "chatter". However on this occasion, someone else was already there, so you parked your buggy containing your sleeping (not chattering) toddler in the available buggy space.

What is the issue here?

AguerosAngel · 17/02/2019 15:41

How entitled are you???

YABVU and twattish to boot!

ElevenSmiles · 17/02/2019 15:43

Is this meant to be funny, amusing ? I think you've missed your audience OP.

Talkingfrog · 17/02/2019 15:43

Yabu. Maybe she was in that space because it was available instead of having to ask the other people to move. Maybe the child had been in the pushchair until a few minutes before you got on.

People mined for you to get into the pushchair space. If not, they are the people you should have had issue with.
I hit on a bus straight after two women with children that were aged about three. The pushchair was left up in the pushchair space, the children sat on the parents laps, on tge other side of the bus. As we all got in at the station, I know that they were not sat in it at any time.

My daughter was about 9 months old, and strapped in. I was by default in the wheelchair space. Half way through the journey a wheelchair wanted to get on.

The women tried to look away and ignore it, but both passengers and the driver asked why the pushchair could bit be folded as the children were not sat in it. The mother made excuse after excuse, and the passengers got more dusgusted with her esponse each time. We could not fit both pushchairs in one space as they were too big.

Despite my daughter using the pushchair as it should be, I was in the wheelchair space so offered to get off and wait for the next bus. I preferred that to having her on my lap.

In the end I got off, wheelchair got on, and I stood in the aisle with the pushchair. (It was Feb and the driver didn't want me waiting in the cold with a baby)

That is an example if a situation where someone us being unreasonable and you may want to feel like you did.
I did tell tell her what I thought when they got off ( I had to move first, and she gave a sarcastic thank you). Afterwards I wished I had told her I would not move until she apologised, but that would have probably delayed everyone even more. (although based on the comments when she got off, I think most of the bus would have agreed with nr if I had asked got an apology)

I found out later that because the pushchair was up and the children were not sat in it, that the children should have been paid for.

ChocChocButtons · 17/02/2019 15:49

You have a toddler the death stare for sitting on his mothers knee? What’s wrong with you poor child.

ChocChocButtons · 17/02/2019 15:50

*gave

SleepingStandingUp · 17/02/2019 15:57

I found out later that because the pushchair was up and the children were not sat in it, that the children should have been paid for I wouldn't be so sure, here you don't pay for anyone under 5. But I do feel you. I've moaned before about not being allowed on because of an empty pushchair until the driver called the Mum and child from UPSTAIRS and made them fold it.

Friolero · 17/02/2019 15:58

You’re being utterly ridiculous. She was there first, and perfectly entitled to sit there unless a wheelchair user got on. You were very rude to stare at her, and besides your reasons for wanting that space (so you can chat to your daughter) are irrelevant in this occasion given that she was asleep.

Janedoughnut · 17/02/2019 15:58

Talkingfrog are you seriously referring to someone using a wheelchair as 'a wheelchair got on'.

PivotPivotPivottt · 17/02/2019 16:01

I always choose the smaller buggy area when I get on the bus so that if another pram gets on they have to take the wheelchair space, meaning I won't have to get off if a wheelchair gets on🤷

PivotPivotPivottt · 17/02/2019 16:02

Oops unfortunate cross post there. Did not mean anything malicious at all with the words "wheelchair got on". I also said "if a pram gets on".

TurquoiseDress · 17/02/2019 16:04

YABU- I think

Not quite sure about the issue?
You managed to get your buggy into one of the two spaces available

Sounds like a result to me

I dread ever having to take the bus! Trying to see if there are 2 prams already on board, meaning I'll have to wait for another bus to come by!

TurquoiseDress · 17/02/2019 16:07

Dunno, I find that with London buses I just get the pram into whichever space it'll fit into!

Cheby · 17/02/2019 16:07

I inwardly fume at people who have inadvertently taken my favourite seat on the bus/train/sofa, bastards, all of them. 😉

But if you meant this in anything other than a lighthearted way, then yes, YABU.

Ghanagirl · 17/02/2019 16:10

I’m thinking OP is having a conversation with her not quite 2 year old genius.

TurquoiseDress · 17/02/2019 16:11

Also what's the difference between a 2 year old in a buggy and a 3 year old in a buggy?

I'm guessing no difference whatsoever?

I don't get it?

Cookit · 17/02/2019 16:14

If you weren’t able to get on the bus because she refused to fold her buggy, YANBU. But I think you’re saying you got on the bus and everything was fine? So I don’t get the issue?

I avoided buses with my buggy most of the time but when I did have to use one it would have taken ages to fold down a pram that wasn’t one of the umbrella ones anyway, and wouldn't have saved much space. At the same time, I never kept my child in the pram because he would have gone mental. If I was taking space from disabled passengers I’d have got off the bus of course.

Purpleartichoke · 17/02/2019 16:15

The solution: all buggies need to be folded. If you are using the buggy as a wheelchair, there should be some sort of officia medical placard.

Otherwise, stop whining and do your best to make space for everyone.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/02/2019 16:16

Well presumably her 2 yo is more entitled because once her child is 3 she'll be too advanced for a pushchair. Gosh imagine if buggy kid had been 4!!

Either OP meant this lighthearted and missed the mark spectacularly or she's trying to stir up crap about mothers with buggies who dare to use buses

TwoRoundabouts · 17/02/2019 16:16

@Talkingfrog the bus driver should have done the decent thing and demanded a fare from her, but then s/he must like children even if they have entitled parents.

OP I have a gaggle of nieces and nephews who were a wide variety of heights when they were 2 and had different levels of speech - how do you know exactly how old the other kid was? As no your kid is not a baby.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/02/2019 16:17

The solution: all buggies need to be folded yeah, that's the solution for the Mum of twins with a pushchair dull of baby stuff and shopping whilst everyone tuts over how long it takes her to fet on and no one offers to help.

BlueMerchant · 17/02/2019 16:18

Try getting on the bus with a double pushchair! I was eternally grateful if I could get pushchair space at all ( no chance if the small bus was on our route that day) and I lived miles from the nearest town. Wheelchair user wanted to get on and I'd smile and get off ( I couldn't manage to fold it myself with a newborn and 1yr old).

Crunchymum · 17/02/2019 16:19

My pram doesn't fold, well it does but it then is in two pieces, the chassis and the chair...

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