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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think a 40 minute commute isn't that long

186 replies

Thesunisonitsway · 14/02/2019 20:37

Dp has applied for a job which is perfect for him. He however is concerned that the 40 minute drive is a big downside. I don't feel that's that long dp thinks it could take longer than hour if these traffic in the mornings or evenings.

OP posts:
DontMakeMeShushYou · 14/02/2019 23:30

My commute is about 90 mins in the morning, about an hour in the evening as I work long days due to compressed hours so miss evening rush hour. I've been doing it for the bet part of 25 years but to be honest it is now wearing a bit thin, lol! 40 mins would be bliss, although my real plan is for 0 mins in the next year or so.

@SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad It's a nightmare when it all goes wrong and you get stuck for hours. I've had a couple of 3-4 hour journeys because of problems on the road but my worst was an 8.5 hour journey home when we had flash floods. I was exhausted!

Dothehappydance · 14/02/2019 23:37

My commute is 30 mins on a clear day but usually 35-40 in the morning and 40-50 in the evenings. I do use my car at work but I go through petrol at the rate of knots. I do a mixture of urban roads, dual carriageway and country roads, and I know where my traffic hotspots are.

If I was doing the commute in reverse (so lived where I work and worked where I live) I could easily double the time. So traffic conditions and general directional flow can make a big difference.

I don't mind the commute in the lighter months, in the dark it isn't quite so fun, I have often cried when it is dark, raining, I'm stuck in traffic and I just want to get home.

I am generally out 7.45 till 6. It is what it is.

Popc0rn · 14/02/2019 23:38

Is that 40 minutes allowing time for traffic?

According to Google maps my commute would take 16 minutes if I left right now, but I always have to allow at least 45 minutes to get there in the morning rush hour traffic.

I don't particularly enjoy driving in heavy traffic, and personally wouldn't want a longer commute. Suprised at the amount of people on here who say it's "nothing" - it's 10 and a half hours a week!

Dothehappydance · 14/02/2019 23:40

I'm not even that well paid, but my role is niche so it is the pay off for working in a role I like and enjoy. I could work a lot closer to home but I might not enjoy the job as much.

LadyMinerva · 14/02/2019 23:47

My commute is about an hour and a half on average, each way. But I consider where I work and where I live worth the effort... for now.

I've only been doing it for a year so time will tell.

WinterfellWench · 14/02/2019 23:49

40 minutes commute is not that bad no. DH does that. (Well, 30 mins, but 40 on a bad day!) It used to be 10 to 15 minutes as we lived 5-6 miles south of his job. Then we moved 20 miles north of it, so it takes him 30 to 40 minutes.

He likes his job and it's decent (pay £12 an hour,) and he works 4 full 8.5 hour days (34 hours a week, and has every Monday off,) so he really doesn't want to leave. If he was laid off, he would probably try find something closer, (2-3 miles away in the local market town,) but 20 miles ain't bad.

For the first 20 years of my work life, I had a job that took me an hour to get there - public transport coz for the first 10 I couldn't drive, and the second 10 I didn't have my own car, so STILL had to bus it! Current job is 20 minutes on my bike. (2 to 2.5 miles.)

ilovepixie · 15/02/2019 00:51

My commute is 3 minutes drive I would hate a long commute

2ellenor2 · 15/02/2019 00:54

I work in the job centre and people who claim JSA are expected to search for work with a commute of up to 90 minutes each way. If they don’t then they get sanctioned

Nacreous · 15/02/2019 04:14

I was thinking about this more overnight.

My current "commute" is 30 minutes. However, it's by foot. This means I don't have to allow contingency time for traffic, I could do it faster by bicycle if I needed the time, it's free, it doesn't matter when I leave home - if I leave 5 mins late I arrive 5 mins late, so there's no "argh I'm running 5 mins late, now my journey time is going to increase 50%", it makes me feel fitter and more well rather than fatter and lethargic and it doesn't matter if I'm very awake or not because I'm not driving a one tonne tin death machine that needs to be treated with far more care and attention than I (or frankly anyone) normally ends up giving my/(their) driving.

So I don't think there's a blanket answer for that 40 mins. If I was commuting by car out into the countryside that would again be broadly okay. If it was across town and 40 mins at rush hour, I could probably cycle it usually so again not too bad. If it was 30 miles away and a happy 40 mins at not rush hour but stressful high to low speed dial carriageway due to traffic and then through town crawling afterwards (and also impacted by parking) then I think I'd feel very differently.

I left a job where I commuted all over the country and its one of the best things I've done for my mental health - due to many reasons but one was the commute.

Rainatnight · 15/02/2019 04:18

There's no way of saying if this is objectively a long commute or not. It boils down to whether your DP thinks it's worth it for this job.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/02/2019 05:07

We bought our house near dhs old job. Then he was made redundant. Now his commute is around 40 mins on a clear run but not in rush hour. He leaves at 7.15 to ensure being there for 8.30 and it takes an hour on Mondays, a little less most other days. 7.20 and he’s there bang on time so timing is key. In the evenings it’s up to an hour again.... unless there’s an accident and the motorway becomes a car park. He had a nap a couple of weeks ago as they were stuck for around 2 hours.

The drive isn’t for everyone. Dh enjoys driving although commuting is a slog.

JenniferJareau · 15/02/2019 05:33

If he can, he should do a test run in rush hour.

Failing that, Google maps allows you to set the date and time of your journey and the times are fairly accurate so he'd get a good idea from that.

Also he has to expect on occasion that there will be delays on the roads.

flowery · 15/02/2019 05:54

The doable-ness or otherwise of a 40 minute commute is entirely irrelevant. If the journey is 40 minutes on a clear run, it won’t be a 40 minute commute. It could be easily double that.

No point discussing it at all until you know how long the commute will actually be.

KittyVonCatsworth · 15/02/2019 05:58

40 minutes is nothing but I suppose it's relative to what he considers the norm. I went from a 30 minute commute each way to a now 2 hour door to door commute on a good day. One day last week it took 4 hours to get home, 6 hours in total commuting. It is exhausting but you get used to it.

swingofthings · 15/02/2019 06:12

The issue here seems to be that your OH believes it will be longer than 40mns. You say that's what the route planner says. Firstly most route planners don't take traffic into consideration, then there is the matter of parking.

DH's commute is exactly 40mns? That's door to door. It's absolutely fine. However, for this, he leaves home at 6:10am to start work at 7am. He gets to park close to his office. If he left at 7:30, it would likely take him more than double that time because traffic is horrendous and by the time he got there, he would struggle to get a parking space and either drive around to find one or park 15mns away, so that actually might mean over 1:30 mns all together, more if there's an accident, road work etc...

rainbowbash · 15/02/2019 06:31

I do a 40-50 min commute (drive) each way and find it stressful.

how long is your own commute, OP. Given that you find 40 mins commute not s big deal, I guess you commute at lease just as much? in that case, I think it would not be unfair to expect DH to commute a similar distance for the right job.

bellinisurge · 15/02/2019 06:38

Isn't that a normal commute?

hiddeneverything · 15/02/2019 06:53

Depends what he's been used to. Mine is five minutes and I hated my 40 minute one previously.

TheLastNigel · 15/02/2019 06:58

When looking for a job I limit myself to an hours commute. Anymore than that ends up being knackering and expensive

user1471426142 · 15/02/2019 07:00

Like a few other posters have said, it depends on where you live and earning opportunities. If you’re in the SE commuter belt then 40 mins is short if anything. Driving for many would be harder than the train though.

For the people that say they’d never go longer than 10-15 minutes, what jobs do you do? It must be very limiting. I’d have been prepared to travel longer then that for a Saturday job when I was younger so couldn’t imagine being limited to that sort of distance now. Obviously I’d love that sort of commute but near me that would limit opportunities so much.

bellinisurge · 15/02/2019 07:06

I mix working from home - couple of seconds "commute" in my slippers, to a minimum 40 minute commute to the office. Depends on traffic and is often more.

Grumpasaurous · 15/02/2019 07:28

20 minute commute of all clear, however I tend to catch the bus so 15 min walk, 30 min bus ride.

Mostly because it’s £15 to park and only £5 on the bus.

Uptheapplesandpears · 15/02/2019 07:30

I think long commute is somewhat in the eye of the beholder. Obviously not at the extremes, there's not really any room for different views on a 5 minute walk or 2 hour train journey. But the commute you describe is, I think, one about which people might legitimately have quite different views. As shown by this thread really. And he'd be the one having to do it.

Damntheman · 15/02/2019 07:34

I wouldn't do it. I had a 30 minute commute before xmas and it was incredibly stressful trying to get the kids to kindy/day care and me to work by 8am. Nope.. Thankfully they opened the new road after new year so now it's only 15 mins and much more manageable! Everyone I know has a commute of 20 mins or less.

Ainba · 15/02/2019 08:25

Different for each person, I really wouldn't want to commute 40mins, potentially more in rush hour, but I've been lucky as I work in an industry where working from home is not uncommon, so in my last couple of jobs I've worked entirely from home. Dh on the other hand wouldn't bat an eyelid at 40mins.