Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a 40 minute commute isn't that long

186 replies

Thesunisonitsway · 14/02/2019 20:37

Dp has applied for a job which is perfect for him. He however is concerned that the 40 minute drive is a big downside. I don't feel that's that long dp thinks it could take longer than hour if these traffic in the mornings or evenings.

OP posts:
Poloshot · 14/02/2019 20:48

Barely anything

CripsSandwiches · 14/02/2019 20:49

I wouldn't like to drive for that long but would be fine with a bus or train of an hour. But then I hate driving - some people like it and find it relaxing.

MissDai5y · 14/02/2019 20:51

I'd suggest he does the route during rush hour in term time (during holidays we find the traffic so much better) and see what happens.

I live a 15 minute drive from work, it takes a minimum of 45 minutes to get home, normally closer to 1 hr. Getting to work it's 15 minutes if I leave at 7, and increases to about an hour if I leave at 8 (start at 9).

HicDraconis · 14/02/2019 20:52

I wouldn't do it - I used to have a 40 minute commute on paper which turned into 1.5h most days due to sheer volume of traffic.

I now have a 10 minute commute (if I cycle) or a 5 minute commute (driving) and I wouldn't go back to the longer one no matter how good the job was. It's a total time sink - I have so much more time at home now, I wouldn't give that up.

Mabumssare · 14/02/2019 20:52

On Google maps you can change the depart now to a different time and it gives you an estimate for that time.

Pk37 · 14/02/2019 20:54

I work from home but dh’s commute is 1h 30 but can be 2 hours like tonight.
He’d be chuffed with 40 mins

HaventGotAllDay · 14/02/2019 20:54

It sounds like he doesn't want the job tbh. Or he's never worked in a different town. 40 mins is nothing.

sugarbum · 14/02/2019 20:57

There's no point speculating on how long it might take. Why doesn't he a) check the route online at the actual time he's planning on leaving and see what it says and b) ask folk who actually do the route. Via Facebook perhaps on the local town page

MeOldChina · 14/02/2019 20:59

I think the volume of traffic when he is likely to travel is certainly relevant. 40 minutes is absolutely fine but if it's usually much longer then you both need to consider that. Would the job be worth it for the travel time?

My commute is about an hour but can often be up to 90 minutes at peak time and if there are roadworks it can be two hours.

He definitely needs to try it out a couple of times to see what the average travel time is.

Huntawaymama · 14/02/2019 20:59

Different strokes for different folks and all that but I would not want to do a 40 minute commute. I've never done more than 20. No way I could be out of the house and away from my kids 815-545.

DrWhy · 14/02/2019 21:02

Tell him to put it into google maps at rush hour every morning and evening when he’s actually be doing the commute and see how long that suggests. AA route planner seems to be an average time, I often beat it over long journeys, google maps is much more accurate and accountants for current traffic. Our commute is 20 mins off peak and 30 to 45 at peak, I personally wouldn’t want to do much longer.

ForalltheSaints · 14/02/2019 21:02

If it is always 40 minutes and you aren't tied to having to leave by a certain time, or if it can be 40 minutes on a train that is reliable, then OK.

halfwitpicker · 14/02/2019 21:04

Has he actually done a trial drive there?

CountFosco · 14/02/2019 21:04

I had a commute about that years ago. It was too long, I didn't want to get in the car at all at the weekend. I now have a commute of 25 mins, which extends to 30 mins at rush hour (I work early hours to avoid the rush hour). It is so much better. DH use to have a long commute of 50 mins (by train, it was often longer) and it was horrendous and only compatible with family life because he could WFH when needed. He now has a 15-20 min cycle and it has transformed our lives. We saved a fortune in commuting costs, he works longer hours but is home more and can make school plays, hospital appointments etc.

I think 30 mins each way is OK but any longer just eats into your life too much. I know people who work in London do crazy commutes but it's that or live in a rabbit hutch (BILs flat is the size of our kitchen!) and shouldn't really be considered the way to live.

toomanyofthemnow · 14/02/2019 21:05

How many miles is it?
Get him to take a day off work and try the journey in the morning rush hour traffic. Then again in the evening. That will give him a reasonable idea.
But don't pick a day when the schools are off.

lalaloopyhead · 14/02/2019 21:06

Its all relative really isn't it.

I used to do a 45 minutes commute and on a good day it was fine on a bad day stuck in traffic it was bad. My commute ended with a drive through a city to get home, so again that made the time hugely variable.

I now work a ten minute walk from home and when I drive my old route I really can't believe I did it every day for years.

For me it would greatly depend on the financial gain for the time sacrifice.

Smileymoon · 14/02/2019 21:06

If it takes 40 minutes normally then it will likely take a lot longer in rush hour. There is one way he could find out for sure. I would try it at rush hour and then he will know what he is working with.

mrsm43s · 14/02/2019 21:07

We're on the train (with changes, and therefore a lack of seats for the latter part of the journey), and DH and I both do around 1.5 hours each way

Its kinda shit, but equally its what we need to do to support our family, so we suck it up!

Butterfly84 · 14/02/2019 21:08

That's nothing. Absolutely fine. Most people I know have commutes that take around an hour.

moanymoaner · 14/02/2019 21:09

Is it 40 mins with traffic? Mine is about that without traffic but is easy an hour each way which makes my 9.5 hour day nearly 12 some days!

BoomBoomsCousin · 14/02/2019 21:11

He should find out what it is actually likely to be, not just guess. I think even a 40 min one-way commute is not great and I'd be keen to look for something closer if possible but if the job is good it may be worth it.

Oysterbabe · 14/02/2019 21:11

Mine is just under 40 minutes and I think it's fine if it is that long. I walk mine so it's never longer than that.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 14/02/2019 21:11

Your DP really needs to find out what the commute really will be - as PPs have said, a route that is 40mins at 8pm on a Sunday can easily be double that at 8am the next morning.

Equally, you don't seem to have much sympathy for someone not wanting to spend (potentially) upwards of 2 hours a day - on top of an 8 hour work day - crawling through traffic. Yes, some people might have a longer commute but it's not a competition. If your DP doesn't want to do it then he's not unreasonable.

CheesecakeAddict · 14/02/2019 21:12

My route is 15 mins door to door on a clear route. Most days it will take me 45 mins. I wouldn't do longer than that and tbh if dh was pushing me to go for a job with a big commute, I would fully expect dh to move closer.

Hushnownobodycares · 14/02/2019 21:12

40 minutes is nothing. Dh regularly does 1.5 hours.