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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a 40 minute commute isn't that long

186 replies

Thesunisonitsway · 14/02/2019 20:37

Dp has applied for a job which is perfect for him. He however is concerned that the 40 minute drive is a big downside. I don't feel that's that long dp thinks it could take longer than hour if these traffic in the mornings or evenings.

OP posts:
DerelictWreck · 14/02/2019 22:35

I live 4.3 mile from work and my commute is almost an hour Hmm different lives different strokes. 40mins is nothing to some people and unreasonable to others

Megan2018 · 14/02/2019 22:35

Mine is 40 mins on paper, only ever applies in school hols though, peak times it is always an hour min. On top of work it makes for a tiring week as usually in office for 45hrs plus 10hrs commuting, baby is going to have long nursery days.
But it it definitely doable.

RebeccaWrongDaily · 14/02/2019 22:37

mine is 6.5 miles, and takes me almost an hour in rush hour, when there's no traffic I can be there in about 20 minutes:(

Before buying a second car -it took an hour each way on two trams and cost me £75 a month, plus additional childcare costs to cover before and after school club.

Kintan · 14/02/2019 22:38

My commute is about an hour each way door to door, a mixture of train, tube then a walk. That’s pretty normal amongst my colleagues. I do work from home two days a week though. I think if I was doing the commute five days it would get pretty tedious. Any chance he could wfh some days?

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 14/02/2019 22:39

Dps commute is 45 minut3s in the morning as he leaves at 5 so the traffic isn’t bad, but on the way back can take up to 90 minutes.

April241 · 14/02/2019 22:41

I used to have a 45 minute commute which was about an hour and a half in rush hour, 4 days a week. Absolutely hated it, lasted 5 years before I left. I wouldn't mind if it was a straight road but sitting in traffic is soul destroying.

Now I've moved jobs again I have a 30 minute drive 3 days a week and it's fairly clear because of the times I leave. I don't mind this, gives me time to unwind after a shift

YouLikeTheBadOnesToo · 14/02/2019 22:42

Everything is relative, what’s tolerable for one person can be a complete deal breaker for another. My husband quite enjoys commuting, I found it soul destroying.

I think it is important that he makes a few journeys at the actual times that he will be travelling to work though. According to google maps my old commute was 42 minutes (pretty much all motorway). This was only true if I left home by 730am, leaving any later meant it was between 75-90 minutes. I usually ended up getting to work about 50 minutes early, just to guarantee I was on time. The only time my return journey took the 42 minutes google claimed was if I left before 4-430pm or after 7pm. For me the straw that broke the camels back was when they started long term road works. The 42 minutes turned into over an hour, and rush hour well over 2.
My husband’s commute is mainly country roads, and is hugely unpredictable. Anything from 35 minutes to well over an hour. It doesn’t bother him, but makes him really unreliable when it comes to collect our son etc.

As others have said, it completely depends on whether or not the job satisfaction/ benefits/ pay etc compensate for, and outweighs the negatives of the commute.

MovingThisYearDefinitely · 14/02/2019 22:42

It takes me about half hour to drive 6.5 miles to DD's college in the morning. That hour round trip I can do 3 times a day, although mid day it is far quicker. I also drive DD 5 miles to work during rush hour, which I have to allow half hour for each way, but it only takes about 10-15 minutes at 1130pm to pick her up. Its an awful lot of driving, which I wouldn't be able to do if I also had a full-time job. As PP have suggested, check Google maps out for the actual times DH would be travelling. I'm guessing it will be well over an hour each way at rush hour!

LonelyandTiredandLow · 14/02/2019 22:42

School run takes at least 30 mins each way here! So 2 hours a day.
If only we had been given the school less than a mile away that we could have walked to Sad

PsychedelicSheep · 14/02/2019 22:43

Mine is 40 mins on a good run, sometimes 60 mins at rush hour. Lots of us do long ish commutes as we work in a fantastic service in a crap town so suck it up.

I don't mind it too much tbh, my job can be very emotionally draining so it's nice to have the downtime between work and home, plus I have so many podcasts I like to listen too.

I think it's mind over matter really, you can kind of choose whether to let something like that frustrate you or not. I just don't really entertain Jose thoughts and focus on what I love about my job (and living in cool city rather than crap town) instead

Seline · 14/02/2019 22:44

I'd hate it but it's not awful.

PsychedelicSheep · 14/02/2019 22:45

Jose thoughts 😂

I meant those thoughts obviously. Although I'd entertain Jose if he wanted!

PurpleDaisies · 14/02/2019 22:49

It’s irrelevant what other people think. If it’s too long for him, that’s all that matters.

My “40 minute” commute takes over an hour. I didn’t think it would bother me but it really does and I’m looking for something closer.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/02/2019 23:00

40 minutes is my limit, so if it's longer at peak time, that would be a problem for me.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 14/02/2019 23:05

Have not rtft so sorry if its already been suggested

Could DH do a trial drive at rush hour ? Perhaps a few times (depending though when this job would start) .

caringcarer · 14/02/2019 23:05

He needs to try it at the time he would be travelling on a Monday morning. Then he will know. I used to drive into Birmingham which was only 14 miles away to work and it took me between 35 mins -1 hour and 10 mins dependent on time I left in morning.

Rocketpants50 · 14/02/2019 23:09

Download the app waze then at the time he would have to leave for work say 8am put in the work address, that will then give a fairly accurate driving time to get to work. I find it fairly accurate.
I travel 35 mins at mo and think thats ok. Quite enjoy listening to radio.

SaturdayNext · 14/02/2019 23:09

I used to do a commute which often came to an hour each way. I quite enjoyed it - it was time on my own, I could have my choice of music or radio on, I could sing along without complaints from the family, or I could just have a think - and it was warm and reasonably comfortable.

AcrossthePond55 · 14/02/2019 23:09

I spent a good part of my career commuting 70 minutes in the morning and 40 minutes in the evening (Southern California traffic made the times weird). It was a pain at times, but at other times I actually enjoyed it because it gave me time to myself to mentally 'gear up' for the day and to 'wind down' before I got home. I'd listen to music or public radio (human interest stories, news, editorials) and just mentally 'let go'.

But I'm talking freeway driving where you don't have to worry about turns or traffic signals. I don't think I'd have enjoyed it as much if I was driving surface streets or country roads.

I'd tell him to take the job and enjoy his 'me' time!

AcrossthePond55 · 14/02/2019 23:10

Ha! Saturday! Great minds think alike!

RomaineCalm · 14/02/2019 23:10

Repeating many others but it depends on the job and the expected working hours.

It's a long commute for a job where you have to 'clock on' at, for example, 8am; where you'd find yourself leaving the house before 7am and getting home after 6pm (traffic permitting). The sort of job where you'd be having to explain yourself every time you were unavoidably stuck in traffic.

But it might be fine for a role where you could work those fixed hours a couple of days a week, possibly stay later on occasions, might log on and do some work in the evenings, but could work from home a couple of days a week and leave at 3pm sometimes to get home for parents' evening. The sort of jobs where it's almost expected that you can work from home if there's bad weather.

The logistics of the commute obviously make a big difference but a lot depends on the job itself.

Ethel80 · 14/02/2019 23:12

I do a 45 minute each way commute at the moment and I've quickly got used to the drive but I wouldn't want to do it long term.

The cost pisses me off and on a rough day I just want to get home. I know that lots of people do much longer commutes but I've never had to.

The thing I find hardest is appointments and stuff. Trying to fit in a GP appointment and a blood test is a pain in the arse. Even if I could see a doctor bang on 8.30 it means I'm not getting to work until 9.30 at least.

PCohle · 14/02/2019 23:14

I think Romaine makes some v good points.

WanderingDaffodil · 14/02/2019 23:21

I don't use AA route planner, but I always find google maps good for helping estimate travel times as different times of day. I have one regular journey that takes 25 mins if I leave before 7.40am. If I leave at 7.50 it take 45 mins. It's all about how the local traffic works in the busy periods.

Play around with a variety of these mappers and work out what the 'real' rush hour commute is. If often pays to go in early and take your breakfast and coffee with you. I personally wouldn't want 40 mins every day any longer but if that's the average door-to-door in rush hour it's perfectly bearable.

SpiritedLondon · 14/02/2019 23:28

Everyone would like a 5 minute commute but life’s not like that I’m afraid. For lots of people a long / longish commute is the pay off for doing a well paid / interesting job with prospects or the cost of living in a desirable area. My commute is one hour fifteen into central London ( which is very average) and it’s sometimes a pain but I have a well paid, flexible job. I also get to take advantage of events in the evening at the theatre, gelleries etc. My friend has a 5 minute commute but earns half the amount I do and hates her job. She gets more time at home and doesn’t eat dinner at 9.00pm like I can do. It’s about the whole package really and the alternatives if he doesn’t pursue this opportunity.