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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

And so it begins: Valentine's Day extravaganza

124 replies

Enni2S · 14/02/2019 07:07

My DH (late twenties, married 4 years, no kids) has just gone to work. This morning, I woke him up and asked him to get me a hot water bottle for my 'dodgy tummy' (some top class acting was involved). What he found when he got downstairs is one of those ridiculously oversized and unnecessary Moonpig cards, exclaiming my endless adoration and love. To top it all off, I bought him a box of his favourite fudge chocolates, delivered all the way from the South of England.

Now, I'm going to watch him sweat all day as he tries to figure out how he could possibly pretend that he got me something similarly impressive all along.

So here's the backstory. DH and I normally don't really do Valentine's Day. Sometimes we get each other a card, but mostly we just sit on our high horses laughing at the 'fools' who engage in such a money-driven and meaningless celebration. Then two weeks ago, DH suddenly asked what we were doing for Valentine's Day as surely we celebrate every year? I'm aware that DH's memory is shocking, but this was a new one. Knowing that he would never remember the conversation, I started an elaborate ruse, to prank him today. All week I've been giving subtle hints about how 'excited' I am, interspersed with claims that I wouldn't get anything as it's a man to a woman thing (sometimes the end justifies the means). I hid my presents and performed some top class puppy dog eyes to complete the spectacle.

DH seemed strangely unfazed by this morning events. HAS HE ACTUALLY MADE PLANS?? Shock My DH, who lovingly told me not to worry about the shopping last week as he'd take care of it, before asking me to write a list, come up with meal plans and provide a detailed map of the supermarket in case he couldn't find something?!

I'm intrigued. I will keep you guys updated on how the 'romance' unfolds. Whether he's planned something or not, it's a win win for me. Either I get a nice surprise, or I get to laugh at him trying to talk his way out of the situation without hurting my feelings. Grin Grin Wine

OP posts:
FudgeBrownie2019 · 14/02/2019 16:33

My dog has been whiny all day. I wonder if he's grumpy that he's not my valentine.

No word of a lie, our dog walker turned up today with a heart-shaped dog treat for both dogs and sent me a photo of them on their walk with Dog 1's "boyfriend" (whose name is Boris, elderly gentleman of labrador persuasion, likes long walks up the woods and digestive biscuits). Dogs should feel the love, too!

M3lon · 14/02/2019 16:34

Its going to be terrible when it turns out that somewhere in the last year the OPs DH got a life and grew out of all this BS...

He'll be like eh? ...I can sort of remember a time when this immature shit was fun...but I thought we'd moved on...

FuzzyPixel · 14/02/2019 16:37

Enni2S - looking forward to an update. I love a good prank.

FudgeBrownie2019 thank you for making me properly laugh out loud on the bus home. Grin

Enni2S · 14/02/2019 16:39

@FudgeBrownie2019 hahaha. I gave him some tasty smoked sausage.

DH is home and has brought a lovely bouquet with him. He did buy the flowers today though, he laughed and admitted defeat Grin.

He didn't get me a card as 'there's no way I'd be able to upstage your monstrosity!' We laughed about this morning and he is now cleaning a vase he bought me a while ago to put the flowers in.

Might steal some of his fudge, they look delicious! Grin

OP posts:
ScrambledSmegs · 14/02/2019 16:44

I outdid DH this year. Not on purpose, but he was still slightly shamefaced when he realised that I can't eat the chocolates he gave me.

I don't care. He's a lovely bloke and I can definitely drink the gin I gave him Grin

ridinglilli · 14/02/2019 17:00

I love that fudge shop in Windsor. They do the best Salted Caramel fudge and little free samples too. And sometimes you get to watch them make it too 😊😊😊 Fudge heaven, but not cheap 💕💕💕

ShirleyPhallus · 14/02/2019 18:36

Its going to be terrible when it turns out that somewhere in the last year the OPs DH got a life and grew out of all this BS...

He'll be like eh? ...I can sort of remember a time when this immature shit was fun...but I thought we'd moved on...

I thought this thread was a bit cringe but Christ, what a miserable attitude you have. There was a thread a while ago of all the small things you do to wind up your DP and it was an absolute delight, showing how much fun and affection partners can have together. Injokes and fun together are very special to lots of couples, doesn’t make them juvenile or makes you better than them somehow.

joyfullittlehippo · 14/02/2019 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 14/02/2019 19:55

Grin good update op.
Dh bought me some lovely posh chocs from the shops near his work after all.

Congratulations Joyfullittlehippo. Definitely better than typical vd gift!

Hushhush89 · 15/02/2019 18:10

Hate valentines day... and before anyone asks, no I'm not single been with DH 11 years.

We don't do valentines day as I've always said, I don't need be told when I should be treating my partner to gifts, if I want to treat him I will do it any day of the year but not the 14th Feb....

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 15/02/2019 18:29

Oh gosh I knew we'd get one of these threads. I dread to think of the cost of one of those cards. Money that could be better spent. The recorded message indeed. If anyone had sent me a card I'd be creeped out, if I got bought roses and a moonpig card and chocs and champagne I'd be furious at a huge waste of money. It's the annual day of tat. Not to mention the lack of imagination of walking into any supermarket to buy it.
I'm going to get a huge amount of hate for this as I'm probably the only woman who doesn't lose it for tat.
No I don't have a stick up my ass before anyone says it.
I just think the whole thing soppy and rather silly.
The idea of a relationship being in trouble for the sake one day of the year just as they didn't buy tat is ridiculous. Why does it matter that much?
If he doesn't get you anything OP perhaps you over did it. You might have embarrassed him and now he feels he's in gift debt to you.
If I'd been told by a partner with a bad memory issues 'what are we doing for valentines day?' I'd say ' We're NOT doing 'ANYTHING' as it's always made me want to puke.
Hmm

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 15/02/2019 18:36

I'm just wondering for how many people the presents worked, i.e. they had sex last night. That's the whole point,surely,keep the birth rate going, that 5% surge in November? I noticed the Family planning section of Boots was empty on Wednesday night whereas one supermarket nearby was heaving with valentines shoppers. Hmm

MaidofEyes · 15/02/2019 19:04

Me and DH unintentionally do this every Christmas. We always agree that we won't buy each other anything.

And then the game of chicken starts...

We've never deliberately planned this elaborate ritual but it's part of Christmas now and every now and then one of us takes the 'I haven't got you anything' literally.

We don't do it to be cruel, or mean, or to make the other one feel bad.

As for Valentine's day, we do nothing. I hate it! We both do. DH's birthday is really close to VD (NOT venereal disease) so we go out for dinner then instead.

sleepylittlebunnies · 15/02/2019 19:10

Maybe sex last night might have done you some good Viviane, you sound a bit affected by the whole concept of V day. I don’t think anyone has suggested that a relationship is in trouble if Valentine’s Day isn’t celebrated by a couple. If you have a good relationship then what you do or don’t do on 1 day of the year would have little impact.

I don’t celebrate it personally but if I wish to buy my husband a gift, cook him a meal or have a night of passion then I don’t care what day of the year I do it or what anyone else thinks of it.

Beautga · 15/02/2019 19:13

My husband set the bar high as well as flowers and card he booked a trip to Paris that i knew nothing about.We been married 37 years

winniestone37 · 15/02/2019 19:18

The mean comments here are the best/worst bit here. Really and truly you are awful awful awful people. The op is lovely and sharing a lighthearted bit of couple banter is rather lovely. what happened?

dustyparadeground · 15/02/2019 19:29

Haven't celebrated for years as my OH is usually away. It's all sh#t anyway surely? Just to sell flowers drinks cards chocs etcetera

Catsinthecupboard · 15/02/2019 19:33

After 3 decades of marriage, Valentine's is still lovely. I usually make something nice to eat and he brings me a card and flowers (never red roses bc we both hate gauging prices).

Last night he gave me a plant of flowers which had sentimental meaning and very nice sentiment in card(he added words).

For us, romance is important. I had a horrible first marriage and dh likes to make me feel loved even if it's a special day bc of commercialism. It's his way of drawing a line under HIS idea of how he treats his wife.

I hope that those who choose not to celebrate today find other ways to show appreciation.

OP has the right of it; fun, love and kindness....with a bit of wicked thrown in.

Sb74 · 15/02/2019 20:42

Is this really an advert for Moonpig??

Briggerz · 15/02/2019 21:17

Ohhh you sound fun!!

olbndansmummy · 15/02/2019 21:36

We do this every year and have done for the 24 years we've been married, all good fun, def not done to be mean or anything. Just a giggle between a happy couple.

caringcarer · 15/02/2019 22:29

I did not get a card this year but got a bunch of lilies and we are going away for romantic weekend break in spa hotel tomorrow and coming back Monday. I am sure your dh can manage a card and some chocolates. That is hardly difficult.

FairyMoppings · 15/02/2019 23:08

DH and I have been together long enough now that we don't bother with Val Day. We've become one of those cranky cynical couples who refuse to buy into the commercialism of it all....

But

I still cannot believe the sour grumpy responses on this thread. Some of you really need to unclench and stop being such bloody Meldrews!

We all have different senses of humour, and this might not be yours, but to be moody and superior is just speaking volumes about what miserable sods you are.

Cheer up

Lillyringlet · 16/02/2019 11:19

Oooooo I love that fudge shop in Windsor. Not found any better anywhere since. They did have a stall at harrods a few years ago - might still be there if that is any easier.

No point in getting anything sappy for my husband so he gets a "game credit" to decide on a game any point of the year 😅

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