To ask for your crappy holiday stories?

[Thisnamechanger]

Oooh MN I've ballsed up big time. Have arrived at AirBnB in Fuertaventura after eighty years of travelling and the place in basically in the middle of nowhere with loads of massive hotel complexes but virtually no other life to be seen. We walked for about an hour and found a pizza place where they're showing some trans-universe football final with locals roaring at the telly. Now full of pizza and chugging beer but I feel like a total git for not choosing the accommodation more carefully. DP is prentending he's having a great time. Help - give me your stories!

We scrimped and saved to go to the island my sister in-law is from for our niece's christening, one relative cut short his honeymoon.

Anyway we were in the non tourist, port part of the island, think the bad side of any port town, hotel was probably nice when built in the 70s certainly hadn't had much done to it since then!

But we were happy to do it as it was important to be there and my hubby and sister were god parents...turns out they weren't they found out when the church ceremony was taking place and 2 other relatives stepped up! Then when asked about it my sister in law sulked and didn't speak to anyone afterwards and my brother got stroppy!

The rest of the holiday bought out the worst of us and we definitely won't be going back for a long time especially as my brother and his wife pretty much didn't come to see us or when they did ended up causing arguments.

Went away at Christmas with family. Encore we went is had tonsillitis and flu, I had jokingly said it was a sign we shouldn’t go. Anyway, we went and after I had recovered we’re having a lovely time. Christmas Day was smashing (or rather we were smashed), Boxing Day my sister and I get a knock on the door to wake up. The next thing we know we hear a massive crash and open the door to water rushing in. My sister being my sister put her straighteners on top of the cupboard and we left to try and find out family. We found the two daughters as they were next door, had to wade through rat infested sewage to a high point in the hotel. Once we climbed up, we could see our dads looking for us but they couldn’t hear us. This is going to sound crazy, but it is true - my sister found a whistle she had got in a cracker the evening before in her bag and that’s how we got their attention. We all met up and were told that there had been a tsunami and another was on its way. We had met another family and they asked us to look after their young sons whilst they went to get their passports. Whilst they were gone the staff said we had to go, no more waiting. We had to run in the blistering heat carrying two young boys, watching villages escape and panic. Finally we were picked up by some villagers in their truck and taken to a school, there was no water or food at first and just a hole for a toilet but we were safe. I called my grandad who said ‘I wondered why everyone kept bloody calling and asking if you were okay, I turned my phone off’ (LOL) We were later allowed back to hotel but couldn’t sleep because we were all still worried. After the sewage we all had funny tummies but my dad being my dad thought it would be funny to fart and put his arms out and pretend he was an airplane. Well... I’ve never seen his face drop so quickly as he grabbed at the bottom of his shorts and banged on the toilet shouting for my sister to get out whilst I was creasing up on the bed. So yes ... we survived the tsunami but my dad didn’t survive any embarrassment hahaha

*before we went away

Sorry, for the rushed message.

@brightonbeautifull my post pales into insignificance compared to your experience glad you were all ok

Thank you @sickoffamilydrama We were so lucky, the hotel down the road was obliterated :( It didn’t really hit us until we got home and watched the news. We had no idea how big it had actually been. We definitely had someone looking down on us that day

Your name seems apt after reading your story

Your name seems apt after reading your story wink

Yes I came up with the name after that holiday

While staying in a caravan with dh, pil and 5yoDs littl'un was very sick in his bunk so I swapped him into the clean one where he promptly vomited again. Mil then had diarrea (unfortunately didn't make it to the bathroom) followed by fil (who mercifully did!). Not to be outdone dh also shit himself. I was the only one who didn't suffer from illness although I did suffer having to clean everyone up. I've never been able to face a caravan holiday since.

25 years ago and it still haunts me.

Went to a friends parents villa with another couple and their 2 kids 5 & 3. Started to go wrong just after take off when plane started to make a terrible noise and strong smell of burning. Bing bong 'passengers needn't be alarmed, we seem to have lost a part and we're returning to Gatwick'. This was followed by 'Don't be alarmed if you see fuel being dumped, this is because we can't land with full tanks & is perfectly normal'. Followed shortly after by 'don't be alarmed if you can see emergency vehicles this too is perfectly normal' - looked out window to see fire engines racing along the tarmac beside us. Finally got to Spain and it became clear that their marriage was in big trouble and they had constant screaming matches and we spent most of the time trying to cheer their poor kids up. Final straw was an evening row poolside - kids were both crying and covering their ears and the 3 yr old stepped back and fell in the deep end. My bloke jumped in fully clothed and they hadn't even noticed until then. We packed, went to the airport and waited for a standby flight - final insult she had shingles and I caught Chicken pox.

2nd one was 9/11 - came back to appt in Malta after day at beach. Everyone was watching on tv when we returned hire car. We flew out in the early hours 11/11 and it was chaos but no-one was really saying anything. Got to the plane and the pilot looked like Osama bin Laden, not good.

Majorca. Day 1 - fire in apartment
Day 2- shitty b&b replacement toilet blocked
Day 3- new hotel found, half finished.
Day4- raw meat bbq sends 90% in to vomit hell
Day 5- on a drip
Day 6- on a drip
Day7- holiday company won't let us fly home.
Day 8- cockroach runs over my body whilst unable to move
Day 9- keeping water down at least
Day 10 - Dh on a drip too
Day 11- both want to die
Day 12- get the sack for having no sick note to give to employers
Day 13 - finally fly to England albeit 200 miles away from original airport.
Day 14- weigh myself and have lost 2 1/2 stone
Day 15 - vow never to go abroad again.

We had to sleep with our arms and legs out of the bed to avoid being bitten on the face!

That sounds like a Vietnam war movie...!

Went on a school trip to France age 15...
Coach broke down on way there
Friend broke ankle during trip
Ferry crashed on way home and we made national news

It was great fun to be honest, but 17 years later I never want my kids to go abroad with school!

Yes Cricket, want to hear more about the haunting please. 🙏🏼

Booked a holiday house for two weeks on the Brittany/Morbihan border. Only two hours to St Brieuc(main city) from there so thought it was a good location and a good price for two weeks as it was October/November.
Got off the ferry and started driving thinking it wasn't too far. It took hours and it was in the middle of nowhere and we found the village and turning(the most long winded directions ever) and were driving round in circles in the dark looking for this sodding house! Had it not been for me remembering that it had a climbing frame in the back from the pictures I'd seen online we'd never have found it!
Ran over a deer that was lying in the middle of the road on the way as well.
The first night we had to call the caretaker who lived nearby to tell us where the petrol station was as we'd driven so far and were scared of running out! We had to get petrol everytime we were out as it was so remote, I mean we're used to staying in Brittany but nothing this remote!
On the plus side it was a nice house and quiet but then we had an invasion of mice. They ate the crackers inside a bag, gnawed at my handbag and even the cushion covers! As to the downstairs toilet/laundry room I refused to use it, just using the upstairs toilet as it stank in there!
As to the local tourist information booklet, made by the owners it was activities for people who liked to watch paint dry.
We tried one of their suggestions and it was for a place that had nothing there,wasted trip!
The bed linen was provided and no wonder when we stripped the beds to leave, there were stained pillows and a stained mattress ! We used to own a house in France ourselves and it could have done a much better job than they did if we'd ever rented it out and it at least wasn't in the middle of nowhere.
Oh and an hour and a half to St Brieuc? Google maps!! It took three hours!!!!

Oh and going to France when we had the house,we had booked a b and b in Weymouth for the night before and after the crossing. The way over was fine. It was coming back that was the issue. Got into Weymouth very late off the ferry and parked up to go to the b and b.
We had a friend of mine with us as well. The guy who owned it answered and claimed we'd not booked the second night. He and the girl with him seemed to be behaving oddly. It was her I made the booking with by phone. The room we should have had had been let to builders so we were offered their own accommodation which was horrible. The way they were acting was so odd I feared for our safety. We refused to stay, with me accidentally whacking the chap with my laptop bag on the way out. When we got to the car my friend told me the pair of them were on speed. She recognised the behaviour and half eaten food on the table.She's more streetwise than me! He had given me £1 too much for the overnight parking charge. I certainly wasn't going to give it back! We found somewhere in Bounemouth in the end,a really nice hotel.
We heard later from a lady who ran another b and b nearby going on another holiday that said owner lost the business due to his alcohol problem.

@YoureAllABunchOfBastards Fabulous irony

Went alone to Paris and the riots started after I booked. I went by coach so took forever to get there and only had one full day there, the rest were half days with the travelling. Everything was shut. I essentially went to Paris to ... Look at the outside of the Eiffel tower.

DH and I went to Porto Santo in the mid 90s for our honeymoon. Our luggage took so long to appear at Madeira airport that by the time we arrived to get the morning flight of the tiny plane to the island it had gone and we were left in the airport for the day. I promptly burst into tears and DH found the rep. We were given money for lunch in Funchal. We then spent six hours hours in the airport waiting for the evening flight. The day before we flew home we had a beach picnic. A yoghurt that wasnt eaten was put back in the fridge and I ate it before we left and spent the whole journey home rushing to various toilets to be sick!!
Holiday with sister and her family in Devon a few years ago. House belonged to a very kooky pop video maker. Two wings of the house and my sister and her friend and ds2 and I were in one wing. In my sisters room was a full sized stained glass window of the crucified Christ. Ds2 insisted on having the hall light on at night so Jesus shone on my sis and her friend all night. The next morning she got all the Sunday supplements and covered Jesus up. She left him covered up when we left!!

Loving this thread! Started reading it at 2 am while DH was out delivering DS to rendezvous point for school trip.

Shag fest with an ex-professional surfer: doesn't sound such a bad way to pass the time.

We went a group sports tour with DS1, when he was too young to go alone.
The hotel in Torquay had plastic, carrier bag like, mattress covers which crunched when you turned over and were so sweaty.
The cooked breakfast was deep fried, even the bacon and eggs.
All the fire doors were locked.
When we left someone had keyed the car.
No happy memories of Torquay.

Greece, the accommodation was just grotty. Ive stayed in Greek "basic" quite a few times and never had a problem, its always been clean. This was just run down and grimy, the shower curtain was like a length of ships tarpaulin and the hole/grate thing in the middle of the bathroom was caked in filth. We dreaded going back to "the hovel" every night. No cockroaches though and it had a large, brilliant balcony.

lol i took the family to cornwall

we left at 6 am and got there 5pm ,we had my daughter and her cousin they were about 3 or 4 at the time.

It was hot all over the country but cornwall was wet we had to put a tent up

we went to mousehole and when we were about to leave the car broke down ,we had a picnic in the car being eyed up by seagulls

Went to Crete with our works social club. Arrived at 5am to find no rep.(She's just been fired, and left us with no idea of where our rooms were) The water in our apartment was turned off- turned it back on and found a huge puddle in the middle of the floor next day.

two disastrous holidays come to mind when i was a child back in the 70s.
first was a luxury flat mum and dad hired in weston super mare. my gran had just lost grandad so the idea was taking her away with us for a break. there was me my sister mum dad and gran in a small flat and guess what? it rained all week bar a small gap of sunshine which dad walked us to the local park and got soaked all the way back very fraught holiday bet gran wishes shed stopped at home
when i was 13 mum dad and i had a caravan in tenby. on the way there we stopped in a layby for a burger then visited the ladies. seeing the state of them i refused but mum had to go. by time we got to caravan mum had d and v. this was a very nice caravan but few in those days had toilets instead you had to go to an amenities block ten mins walk away. obviously mum was not up to this so poor dad had to find two buckets for mum and take them to be cleaned too poor mum was ill all week and never saw tenby but me and dad did manage a few days out. we were all tired esp stuck in the small caravan and not getting much sleep due to mums bodily functions!

I have been looking at booking our family holiday but think I may leave it after reading these!