To ask for your crappy holiday stories?

[Thisnamechanger]

Oooh MN I've ballsed up big time. Have arrived at AirBnB in Fuertaventura after eighty years of travelling and the place in basically in the middle of nowhere with loads of massive hotel complexes but virtually no other life to be seen. We walked for about an hour and found a pizza place where they're showing some trans-universe football final with locals roaring at the telly. Now full of pizza and chugging beer but I feel like a total git for not choosing the accommodation more carefully. DP is prentending he's having a great time. Help - give me your stories!

We always have adventures.

1. Went to Brittany with my DS (13) last year. Booked a cheap hotel (think ibis budget cheap), but it was nightmare: in the middle of nowhere and only other guests were construction workers who came in at 6ish, drank beer on the outside corridor and made jokes about me (as the only female in about 10 miles). Noise kept on until about 2am, but beds were so bad we hardly had any sleep. Door was so flimsy and didn't shut/lock properly that I was afraid to go to sleep.

That was the only time I left a hotel. Went to different city Novotel :)

1. Same trip: sea, rocks, lighthouse with loads of rocks leading up to it, about a few 100 yards in. This was october. Of course we started going in on the rocks. About an hour ago the ants on the beach (aka people) were shouting and waving at us. We didn't realize why. kept going. Then it hit us: the tide was coming in at a silly rate. We tried to be quick, but rocks were slippery and we had photo equipment. By the time the shore was almost within reach there was no way to get over without getting wet. We took off our shoes (didn't have spare ones in the car) and crossed the freezing waist high water. Then soaking wet, freezing and dripping had to go back to the car (5 min walk) to the village center. Literally everyone commented on us "not seeing the tide?" At first we were so annoyed, then my boy answers with a snide remark to someone that we prefer freezing water as a spa treatment and from then on made up the most ridiculous answers. We did get the whole village laughing though.
2. some 20 yrs ago we saved up with now-DH and wanted to go on a long weekend to Slovenia (from Hungary, by car). We've been before, just camping. We set off friday morning to a spa village only to find that it was some national holiday and there were no rooms left. This was pre-internet, so staff called around other nearby villages, nothing. THey found us one room at the end, but it did cost us all our hotel money. Fine. Next day we were all day by/in the pools. DH got such a sunburn that he had blisters. And was feeling ill. No room, but big enough car. (sedan). So he spent the night on the back seat, head hanging out to puke from the sunstroke and me on the front seat cleaning up every so often. By next morning he was fine, but I was in no condition to drive and he didn't have his licence then. So we stayed another day by the pools (me in water, him in shade). And slept another day in the car.
3. I got stranded in Berlin for 3 days when the Budapest airport team were on strike. I wasn't complaining :). They finally took us to Munchen on a plane, then flew us to Vienna. Then offered a small plane (12ppl) or train option to Budapest (as airport had reopened). It was night time already. I chose the small planes as I love flying. I turned out the airport was shut down again because of torrential rains and thunder, lightning. It was so bad that the plane went like a rollercoaster. Everyone puking but me (I was too afraid even to vomit). We had to emergency land on a small airstip outside of budapest that is made of grass. It's for sport purposes. There's the airfield, a hedge a road and a big plain field. We ended up in the middle of the field and had to walk back to the "tower": 5*5 room with a roof. By the time we got in I think i had mud even in my ears. No cell reception, middle of nowhere, no infrastructure and after about 30-40 mins in the dry room the roof collapsed. Noone got hurt, but after that there was no dry spot. We might as well have been standing in the rain. We actually lived about 2 km from the "airport", so with a friend we decided to walk. Yeah, great idea: remember the no infrastructure? No paved road, and the one that was the road was all mud, plus we had to cross a hill. Lovely hike in the summer. Not so much in the wee morning. We were 22 at the time. Today? I'd prefer to stay in Vienna for a few days :)
4. nice story: First time we ever went camping we randomly went into a small village in Slovenia and the selected the camping with a pool. Basically it was someones huge back garden. The Pool was about 3*3 meters, but hey :) We got lost (mid-nineties) and arrived around 11 pm. The owners were still up and their daughter was practicing for her barmixer exam next day. They invited us for a drink (on them)... it ended up being many drinks and by the time we finished they handed us the keys to an apartment as it was 4am and they watched us struggle with the tent for 10 minutes, getting nowhere.

Next day it took us about 40 minutes to get the tent up. :) We kept going back to them for more than 10 years. The parents became grandparents and the campsite operated by the new generation. We plan on going back next year :) after missing about 10 years.

I booked a weekend away after our wedding, not a honeymoon, but stillwas looking forward to a few days away together.

We asked our taxi driver to drop us close by our hotel at a restaurant, after we ate we walked to the hotel he had pointed out as ‘ours’ but it wasn’t our hotel, another hotel with a similar name which was miles away and another cab ride and we tried to check in. But I had the booking confirmation and had not bought my phone, eventually managed to get to our bedroom after successfully locking myself out of my email on the hotels computer 😮to find our room was two sets of bunk beds! Advertised as “family friendly” dh has never let me book another hotel.

It took a while but we do laugh about it now.

No where near as bad as some of the ones I've read on this thread!

• Got scammed out of ten euros at the Eiffel Tower in Paris. My own stupidity and not wanting to be rude. I tried to politely give the 'charity woman' 5 euros and her friends insisted I needed to give 5 for each - both the disabled and the orphans. What kind of charity raises money for both the disabled and the orphans? Learnt from that though and now don't stop whenever someone tries to approach me!

• Stayed at an airbnb in Amsterdam, it was a bit weird (we found a jar with teeth in it and it said 'every artist is a cannibal' on the side) and the kitchen was a bit grotty so we put down a towel in the fridge. Got worse the next day when we went to use the microwave and found the moldiest plate of food sat inside.

• My friend got sick in Lithuania. Weirdly me and another friend had eaten the same meal as her the night before but she'd finished her plate whereas me and my friend didn't so she ended up being sick all night.

• Went to Benidorm with my Mom and for the first few days we had nothing but rain and thunder storms. Apparently the weather in the UK was lush. Typical.

Been quite lucky with holidays I think after reading everyone else's horror stories!

If you're in Fuerteventura OP, get yourself booked in here. 😊

www.katisvillasboutique.com/en/

Just lovely, and the staff are very helpful recommending places to go etc. The beach near the dunes just outside Corralejo looking over towards Lanzarote is stunning.

@cricketmum84

Thanks for the update, I didn’t know you had a thread, I’m off to find it 👍🏽

We rented an AirBnB with tapestries covering the walls. Underneath the tapestries? Black mould.

More of a break than a holiday. Years ago DP decided to surprise me with a weekend away to see a friends band who were really up and coming - In Sheffield.
The hotel he chose he based on walking distance to the gig, fair enough I suppose. Unfortunately it was one of those hotels/pubs that were mostly occupied by jobbing trades, builders and such like. Luxury it was not.

We went to the gig, had a great night. Got back to the 'hotel' to discover a lock in at the bar. Settled in and this HUGE Rottweiler decided to come and sit with me. Lovely big soft lump of a dog, or so I thought.
Meanwhile, one of the locals is so ratarsed he falls down the front steps. Ambulance is called but unfortunately the crew are accompanied by the Police. Then all hell breaks loose.

It starts with the Landlord/hotelier throwing room keys at the locals. He's licensed for guests, but not for all the people in there. Keys are flying, meanwhile, rottie, who's just helped me finish a bag of Quavers spots the Police. Transpires he had a bit of a thing for uniform. He went absolutely nuts, frothing, barking, growling. Landlord now stops throwing keys and tackles dog.
Eventually order is restored, Police pop their head in, everyone waves their key in greeting and the Police leave. We go to bed.

I'm awakened the following morning with a wet foot. DH has decided to have a shower. Only problem is the shower is actually next to the bed and can't avoid soaking it. (I took a pic of this because I've never seen a set up like it and I doubt I ever will again)
With that we skipped breakfast and left.

I book hotels now.

This thread has had me in stitches. The poor DH and the dentist made me cry with laughter!

Myself and Dh's first holiday (still in the dating stage).

We went to Venice on a Ryanair flight, had to get a coach for what felt like ages to actually get close to Venice, then (along with about 8 other people) got scammed into getting a "private transfer" to the hotel. This private transfer involved a leaking, heavily overloaded tub of a boat, which we were charged handsomely for using.

Finally arrive at our hotel only to be told it was overbooked and that they would put us in a "sister hotel". This turned out to be an attic room about a mile away through wet, dark twisty lanes. It rained so heavily that the fucking square got flooded, gondolas were cancelled and restaurants closed early. Oh, and we were eaten alive by bedbugs.

As far as I'm concerned, the dirty dump can't sink quickly enough.

Intrigued by the face on pillow take now, any chance of a link to that thread!?

Tale not take

My DF is a bit pretentious and always insisted we stay at family run indie resorts rather than big chains. It was fine in Europe, not so great in Mexico... He stupidly left his wallet in the safe one day, didn’t usually do this but we left in a hurry and he forgot it (he always just carried as much cash as we needed for the day with him). Returned and it was obviously gone. The hotel manager blamed the cleaner and a weird series of events followed with the manager trying to help my DF get some quick money so we could survive for the last few days of the holiday.

Anyway on the final day of our holiday the police turned up. The manager had done a runner with all of the hotels money and almost definitely was the wallet thief to boot . We ended up getting a ride to the airport in the police truck which had armed police standing in the back. I was eleven, it was certainly an eye opener .

The rest of the holiday was actually great but for the last few days we had virtually no cash so had to scrimp through.

@thesunwillout I'm trying to find it but struggling!

Blimey, stopped by to share my collection of brothels-pretending-to-be-hotels and the time an engine fell off the plane - but I don't think anything measures up to @Auslander 's Herald of Free Enterprise story

When we flew out to Spain with one child suffering what I thought was a cold, only for it to develop into full blown flu. Later that day I came down with it too, the following day the other child. So just as one got better the other was peaking and that pretty much took up the first four days. Single parent too so it was pretty hard work. The hotel overlooked a gorgeous sea view though and had a well stocked supermarket so we managed plus I had brought a basic medicine and first aid kit like I always do so had neurofen and calpol etc. Could have been worse.

In the middle of a three month trip to Canada many,many moons ago we stopped off at a place called Kelowna. Asked taxi to take us to a youth hostel but think he took us to some dodgy homeless hostel instead! No locks on bathroom, full of drunks/druggys ans had to share a room with another couple who decided to make good use of their bed half the night!! As a 19yo it was all quite an eye opening adventure!

I would like to issue a public apology to Fuertaventura. Am having a beer on the balcony ignoring the road having just been for a wee surf in the little waves at Sottanvto beach which is STUNNING while lovely DP has a nap. Getting up early tomorrow to hopefully have a windsurf in the lagoon. Had lunch in a surf bar with friendly staff who all spoke English. Is alright Thanks for all your brilliant stories!!!

I've just NC'd as I was only talking about this the other day...

My very first holiday abroad, aged 9. Arrived at the hotel and put our bags away. Sat by the pool whilst waiting for some early evening snacks. Heard some shouting from a balcony, sounded like a couple having a barney.
My mum tutted an muttered that she didn't want to listen to it all week, she didn't have to....the girl fell off the balcony and landed on her head.
I've never known if it was an accident or if she was pushed.

Corralejo is one of the tackiest parts of Fuerteventura, but it fits the 'lively' criteria!

blue I adore tacky I came to traveling late in life because of a terrific fear of flying. I get very nervous when I don't speak the language or can't Google maps where I am. I ADORE playa del Ingles in Gran Canaria - it feels like the restaurants, decor and in some cases staff haven't changed since the late eighties. All the menus are in seven languages and everyone is so friendly takes all sorts I suppose!

@Wavingwhiledrowning

Thought you might appreciate this.

@CigarsofthePharoahs - that is my all time favourite bad lip reading! (along with the Inauguration one). Hilarious! Literally the only time seagulls are funny.

My mum and step dad decided we should go on a budget eurodisney holiday. We were 14, 12, 10 and 5. Mum had a free ferry crossing, from Ramsgate to I’m not sure where. They bought a cheap old estate car and a very old beaten up caravan thinking we could use it more often.

Very long drive from Dorset to Ramsgate. We got off the ferry very far from Paris and the campsite and started driving. Broke down on the motorway. Ended up being towed to a tiny village where they fixed the car. Got back on the motorway, stopped at a service station for food and the car wouldn’t start. Spent three days in the hotel at the service station waiting for a hire. Eventually it arrived and we went to the campsite, went to Euro Disney. Then the hire car broke down.

We ended up having our car and caravan towed to the ferry, on to the ferry, off the ferry and then from Ramsgate to Dorset. Fun!

First (and last) camping holiday in the U.K

Weather was cold, food on site was pretty much McDonalds fare. Grubby too.

Tent was 2nd hand, and really not very weather proof.

It rained torrentially and blew a gale the 3rd night in. I kept on being hit in the face by wet tent sides during the night.

Water pouring in in the corners, pillows and sleeping bags soaked.

Daughter was having night terrors at the time so kept on getting out of her bag to wander around the tent crying and screaming.

Then the tent gave up at 2am one morning and collapsed on us.

We had to evacuate and drive around trying to find a b&b that would take us.

Found one on the beach front and paid £150 for half a night.

But I was happy. The walls were solid, the room was dry and I slept like a baby for the first time in several nights.

The next morning we went back to the campsite to collect our belongings and on the way out I threw the tent in the skip.

Never again.