To ask for your crappy holiday stories?

[Thisnamechanger]

Oooh MN I've ballsed up big time. Have arrived at AirBnB in Fuertaventura after eighty years of travelling and the place in basically in the middle of nowhere with loads of massive hotel complexes but virtually no other life to be seen. We walked for about an hour and found a pizza place where they're showing some trans-universe football final with locals roaring at the telly. Now full of pizza and chugging beer but I feel like a total git for not choosing the accommodation more carefully. DP is prentending he's having a great time. Help - give me your stories!

Went to New Zealand. Had torrential rain, lightning etc and the whales and dolphins were scared away so we didn't get to see any.

Went to Italy. It rained every day.

Went to Spain. It rained so much that the road to our accommodation was flooded whilst we were out so we had to find an alternative.

Went to Dubai. They had torrential rain for the first time in 11 years.

Went to France. It rained heavily every day.

Went to France again. It didn't rain. But there was a heatwave with temps reaching 37 degrees and I melted.

Went camping in Wales last year. It was in July, after we had weeks of sunshine and there was a drought etc. That weekend I learned just how terrifying it is being in a leaking tent during a thunderstorm.

Don't go on holiday with me.

I'm loving the fact that OP has had eighty years of travelling and is looking forward to a shagfest!

Stuck in a hotel room for two days whilst hurricane Irma raged overhead and watched roof tiles, palm trees and furniture fly overhead, terrified either the doors or windows would come in at any moment.

Eventually left and spent 12 hours in the airport with no food & no opens hops with just a single bottle of water each provided by the reps, whilst waiting for our plane to come and collect us from the UK.

Cyprus. Was supposed to be a luxury, adults only spa holiday. Hotel was like an old folks home (we're v early 30's) and an hour's walk from anywhere. They'd obviously taken very "arty" angles of the so called beach as it could fit maybe 6 very friendly people on it max. Food was terrible, decor horrendous and staff awful. Evening entertainment included an elderly and out of tune harpist.

costa calma down the southern end of the island is a mecca for wind surfing (allegedly) but it’s not very busy or populated

You are 1000% right!

There were two toilets and the three puking, shitting people were fighting for space. The sink got puked in and I had to scoop it all out because it was blocked

Dear God!

Not as bad as some here, but ages ago, in Portugal, S coast.

We were joining several of dh's family. Arrived to find most of them ill with violent tummy bugs, very likely because the water was off for most of the day.

Staff were surly and unhelpful. Dds were 4 and 1, the younger still wanting bottles of milk. Trying to get staff to warm bottles, , or to provide something simple like toast/boiled egg, for dds, was a nightmare.

Fed up with it, dh booked us into another hotel.

Shortly before we left, I passed another room that was being cleaned, and realised that the large, locked cupboard in our room (for which we had no key) contained a kitchenette, where I could have heated milk, made toast, etc.

Had never seen such a thing before.

I asked reception why they didn't tell us that there was a kitchenette in the room - it would have made our stay so much easier.

Surly, miserable face. 'You didn't ask.'

That was over 30 years ago. I've never been back to Portugal.
The sea was bloody freezing, too.
2nd hotel was better, but didn't materially alter our opinion.

I now am in charge of planning and do not permit random deviations

Self catering hol in East Anglia (glamorous!). The house had curtains that made a muslin look positively opaque. Cue 5am starts for the DCs every day. Took a drive to the beach... A seagull flew into our windscreen and literally exploded. Our two children (2 and 3) were totally traumatised and couldn't stop sobbing for the rest of the day. DH threw up in a lay by trying to clean it up with a packet of baby wipes. Then when we got to the beach another seagull (presumably in an act of revenge) nicked my sausage roll out of my hand and put a massive scratch down my face in the process. Cue a visit to the drop in centre to get it checked out and more sobbing children.

We do not like seagulls anymore. And I have travel black out blinds.

Went camping in France. Third night there was a huge hurricane and he campsite was flooded as was our car. We had nothing dry except one towel so I had to stand in the laundry at the campsite washing and drying our clothes while wrapped in a towel. The tent was so badly damaged we couldn’t salvage it and threw it in a skip on the side of the road. Drove back to ferry and went home. Also dh got bitten by a parrot but that’s for another day

A seagull flew into our windscreen and literally exploded

Jesus Christ!

I also hate seagulls ever since one flew down and ate the vomit of a drunk stranger I was trying to help BOAk!

I went to fuerterventura once and decided to hire a car after 10 mins in the resort. After one lunch at the AI hotel we also decided to eat out once a day.

Worst holiday ever was a puking family on Christmas day, luckily not in a tent, but grim

OMG LadyBunker that has had me doubled up crying with laughter. Sorry it must of been horrendous but the way you have wtitten that sheer brilliance!!!! WTF do we go on holiday???

Oh God, Florida with the ILs. Carefully planned, much anticipated, very expensive Florida. DS (7) came down with proper flu on the flight there, then on the 2nd night fell out of bed, smashed his face on the bedside table, broke a bone in his upper jaw and dislodged his adult front teeth. 2am emergency dentist and all day the next day in a Disney hospital. The next day DD came down with flu. I said I'd stay in the villa with the DC so DH could take ILs to Disney etc, so I did that for the rest of the first week. The DC started to perk up but still couldn't manage the parks. Then I got the flu. Couldn't bear the sun, couldn't eat, US meds made me loopy and itchy, lay in bed for the whole second week while DH took the DC to the parks. I managed to get out of bed the afternoon before we flew home and I never got to see Hogwarts. The end.

Me X and SIL to be, she had a nervous breakdown and had to fly home early loaded up on meds. I thought it was bad when he asked her without telling me, it only got worse.

Ireland, at the absolute height of the foot and mouth breakout. This was pre DC, and I'd been desperate to go there for years, so we decided to go anyway, reasoning that we could do lots of walking if stuff wasn't open. Got there, everything was shut, including tons of footpaths. Freezing cold and rainy, damp and cold rented cottage. The village we were staying in was the unfriendliest place I'd ever been in my life; I will never forget reenacting the pub scene from an American Werewolf in London on our very first night there. Final straw was when I walked into the village to get groceries and a bunch of kids started throwing stones at me from behind a parked car. We left that day and went to stay in the centre of Cork, which was nice, but not quite the 'country break' I had envisaged.
We have never been back.

Oh and I also chucked my guts up on the ferry all the way there and back again, which was nice .

Some of these are hilarious (because it’s happening to other people) the dentist one made me spit my tea out

Went to Amsterdam for 5 days, booked into an utter hovel cos it was cheap and we'd be out and about all day getting mullered and wouldn't care about the room

Immediately fell ill, with giardia, 2 days puking and not wanting to leave the hovel, despite the only place to puke being the shared toilet

Sent partner out with our friends so they could have a good time still

Day 3 and the puking stopped, ventured out. Was doing burps that were worse than the worst food poisoning farts you've ever smelt, and they were coming out of my mouth. Couldn't risk doing it inside because it cleared a room in seconds.

Ended up sitting outside everywhere, consuming my own body weight in drugs and mouth farting every few minutes. Sometimes even outside I'd burp and someone walking past about 15 feet away would look horrified

Didn't recover until I was back in the UK

Went to Morocco only to be told when we went for the transfer bus that the hotel we had booked had closed down. No alternative as we had booked it ourselves. Spent a long and uncomfortable night in the airport (our flight landed at almost midnight ) before wandering round trying to find another hotel the next day. This was pre internet days. Giving up when we realised we couldn't afford to pay for another hotel and flying back home on the next available flight.

Mexico when the hurricane hit. Spent 2 days hiding in the bathroom as that was the only bit with no windows, occasionally running down to the restaurant for food. Then sitting on what was left of the balcony watching the clean up going on. What a mess.

Being on the zeebrugge ferry. I seriously thought I was going to die. But for my husband I probably would have. Fortunately the only thing we lost was our car and belongings in it.

Other than that, my holidays have always been trouble free. 😀

I think the zeebrugge ferry wins the thread. Although probably nobody wants to win this thread.

I don't feel so bad now that I hardly ever travel anywhere!

My probable worst experience was In Rio. We were out late but inexplicably couldn't get a taxi that would take us back to our hotel. There were tons of free taxis but all just refused to go where we needed. (maybe the equivalent of going South of the river???)
So we ended up walking back across the city at 3am, through some seriously dodgy areas with only our crappy guidebook map to rely on. We spent the whole hour's walk shitting ourselves that we were about to be robbed/kidnapped/murdered and jumping at every tiny noise.
Nothing happened obviously.

had not heard of the ferry disaster, have just googled, OMG!