To be horrified at the amount of vile and insensitive responses

[Rowyourboat1234]

I’ve come back after not being on mumsnet for a long time and I’m horrified at some of the vile and insensitive responses on some threads. Why?! What is the point of that? If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything. How about that for Feb challenge?

There's been a lot of moaning about this recently. You don't have to be on here if you don't like it.

If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything.
Whilst I sympathise, I am generally against simplistic homilies of this kind - if no-one ever said bad things we couldn't criticise Jimmy Saville etc - and whilst I am not suggesting he used to come on AIBU, you can't really expect everything to be nicey-nicey all the time.

People who post on AIBU are simply vile and insensitive. What can I say? YANBU, OP.

If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything

Can you imagine? MN would have fizzled out long ago if we’d have stuck to that motto.

I’m not saying I agree with being vicious or nasty, sometimes I see a comment and think “ouch” but to agree for the sake of it is just nonsense.

@badlydrawnperson you can disagree or criticise without getting nasty or personal, or targeting people that are clearly vulnerable?

Yeah, AIBU is shit. You would never catch me posting in it.

If you feel posts are nasty or personal, then you can hit the Report button.

Mumsnet should do more to patrol the threads and kick people off who do that repeatedly but they don't

Is that a joke?! If you don't like it, go to the other place. They are super duper nice to each other, nobody says naughty words and everything sparkles. The massive appeal of this place used to be the fact that it was populated by straight-talking no nonsense women who could furiously disagree on one thread, and agree on another. You know, like grown ups who don't need the teachers "patrolling" the threads.

You exprience people on anon forums as they really are.

You'll note - it ain't pretty:(.

@Rowyourboat1234 you can disagree or criticise without getting nasty or personal, or targeting people that are clearly vulnerable?
Getting nasty and personal is against the rules on here and if reported WILL be removed by MN so that's a non-issue.
If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything
Is a vacuous and pointless statement with no real meaning.

There is one of these threads weekly

And they always fail to present the other side, the thousands of genuinely helpful posts that are on here.

I would suggest using the search function instead of the constant new threads on it, or look to investigate further and present a balanced view

I’ve been here on and off for nearly 10 years. It’s Always been that way. Sometimes when I pop in and read stuff my eyes roll back so hard it hurts.

Try not to take it personally, there are always going to be knobs about, some who just come here for a dig at someone anonymously.

Do the "mum test" - would you say what you're about to post to your mum or boss face-to-face? If not, why would you post it to a stranger?

That is precisely the appeal of here - if wanted to ask my fucking Mum or Boss I'd just do that FFS!
I certainly wouldn't want AIBU to be anything like a conversation with my Mum or my fucking boss.

You should have seen it before AIBU.

I certainly wouldn't want AIBU to be anything like a conversation with my Mum or my fucking boss.

I'm definitely with you.

This recent snowflake invasion is getting on my tits now - is it a millennial thing?

Who had snowflakes at 2 pages in?

Sometimes when I read some people's replies I think ''You can't have any friend's in real life, you'really are too vile''. They daren't be as rude in real life so the wait to come here and be a keyboard warrior.

Christ, if you think MN (AB) is bad, pistonheads or one of those forums.

Makes this place look like a rose-scented spa.

You should be able to tell it like it is without resorting to band calling and insults. So many people are needlessly spiteful. AIBU is supposed to be to offer other perspectives not to offer yourself up for a barrage of abuse. No one is saying that people can’t disagree but some posters delight in being deliberately antagonistic. It is worse than it used to be and it makes MN unpleasant.
I'm not sure many people in the world go on anonymous forums to be nice and polite to people
More than those who go onto anonymous forums to be offensive twats I should hope.

I know what you mean OP. There does seem to be a bit of 'pile on' on particular threads. Sometimes, I think the first few responses set the tone and not always in a good way. A thread the other day when a woman asked if her unborn baby should be included in an inheritance left by her FIL for the grandchildren had someone wrote 'you seem more concerned about the money than the death of your FIL'. Why would something like that ever be necessary to say to a complete stranger. This morning I read a post where a woman was asking if her relationship was abusive. She had a very young baby and someone wrote you are 11 months too late and shouldn't have had a baby with him. What is the point of that? To be fair she was told to f off by a poster.

Sometimes it makes you cringe but it is addictive.

There are a lot of people posting contentious topics simply to provoke others into responding though - I'm pretty sure some of the scenarios described are embellished or even fabricated for maximum outrage.

I like the expression " The internet gives megaphones to mice"

In much the same way as road rage in a car, people feel very safe to be nasty without risking a punch in the mouth, although you might get one road raging these days.
It is true that doing and saying nice things makes people happier so tha horrible people hopefully are miserable

@Calm down pacino

There is a world of difference between furiously disagreeing and being lowlife offensive. There is a fair amount of the latter

People like arguing and people like listening to arguments. And that’s what AIBU appears to be mainly for.