Did I over react over my slapped arse!

[Cheeeeislifenow]

I thought this girl was totally innapropriate but another friend of mine said I over reacted. So I am putting it to the court of aibu.
My friend has a new friend who came out with us on a night out. New friend is a bit younger than us but comes off as slightly immature.
The day after we were feeling worse for wear, I was going face down on the bed and new friend came over and slapped me so hard in the arse, I kid you not , it left an actual hand print and I was wearing jeans.
I was shocked and shouted "what the fuck are you doing". She was very apologetic but I cannot understand why she did this. She said it's a term of endearment.

Friend thinks I shouldn't have been so harsh.
But WTF! Is it normally to slap people on the arse, especially people you Barry know.
This is fairly light-hearted btw.

I'd quite fancy a bit of Barry creeping in.

Knew one once. Fancied him rotten. Wrong time. Wrong life.

I don't fancy creepy arse skelping though.

@lynette scavo.....i would not tell anyone to LTB if it was a husband in this exact scenario. because its all about the context of the situation. If a husband misread a situation or misjudged his strength when doing something the OP hs repeatedly says was not maliciously intended then telling his wife to leave him would be an over reaction. the wife telling him to angrily fuck off would be entirely appropriate and his apology would then be accepted, and the person who thinks that the wife over reacted in the telling him to fuck off would be told to shush.
exactly as i have said in this situation. because the sex of either person or the relationship between them isn't relevent.

I would’ve punched her lights out 😡

StoppinBy that's a false dichotomy and I assume you know it. The alternatives are not enjoy hitting/ shoving/ pushing and being hit/ shoved / pushed or have no sense of humour? Is that really what you think?

People who resort to physical humour especially when ott and apt to cause pain or discomfort or based on humiliation are generally not people who have conversations about things that make them remotely uncomfortable, or make them think, and indeed the punches/ pushing/ shoving is a diversion to prevent conversation going below surface level sometimes in my experience .

@LadyBunker

Well done. By describing lots of different scenarios, you're beginning to see the nuance in deciding what ok or isn't and what an appropriate response could be.

Nope definitely not appropriate for all the reasons already highlighted. YANBU

Actually blueskies you said that people who think that pushing someone is funny is someone who would use that behaviour to deflect from something important that needs to/should be talked about. This is not true, perhaps in your experience you have found that to be true because people like me are not people that you would attempt to befriend so you do not get close enough to be a confidante?

That is perfectly fine by the way, different people have different qualities that they look for in people they would consider friends, for me and my friend circle it is very normal to give a joking shove and also to be on the receiving end, my DH wouldn't think twice about knocking me over into a puddle or something if i was crouched down beside it providing we were somewhere that having dirty clothes was not an issue and likewise I would return the favour , on the other hand my friends wouldn't think twice about talking to me about their deepest fears or aspirations and neither would I, the two qualities are not exclusive of each other.

Wouldn't have been particularly bothered by it. The thought of punching anyone's lights put would not have crossed my mind.

I think you acted appropriately by shouting at her and she apologised, so leave it at that and don't decide to end a friendship based on that alone

Your reaction was not unreasonable. Your friends are idiots for carrying this on. Maybe the slapper has said she’s upset that you shouted but if that’s the case, tough, she shouldn’t have slapped you

So basically, what we've learned from this whole thread is that some groups of friends engage in this type of 'physical horseplay' and some don't (sorry! couldn't think of a better term)

So long as everyone understands each other and what people find acceptable/funny/friendly/unacceptable/offensive then everybody's happy. In this instance, the OP's reaction (which is perfectly reasonable given the shock) will tell the girl her thoughts on it and she, most likely, won't do it again.

Amongsomefriendship groups, a smack on the arse is a friendly/jokey gesture; to some people it's a shocking assault. This girl's mistake was in a)assuming thateveryonesees a smacked arse as a bit of playful fun and b) almost certainly being still drunk and hitting harder than she meant to.
You yelled, she apologized and that ought to be the end of it - and hopefully she will think again before slapping anyone else's arse if she doesn't know the person well enough to be sure it will be taken in the spirit it was intended

^^ This. Your reaction was fine.