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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at salespersons attitude and view?

130 replies

Nothinglefttochoose · 10/02/2019 07:12

I went to buy a wetsuit today. I am an ocean swimmer and have an event coming up in 2 weeks.

Now I am not a small person but I’m not huge (size 14/16). The assistant asked me if I was training for an triathlon, I said no, that it was an ocean swim.

She then proceeded to ask me what distance and what event. I told her (it’s 5km). She seemed shocked and said “umm have you done it before? , it’s quite a big swim”.

I replied that I had. She then asked me how long it too me and told her I completed the swim in 1hr 25 minutes.

She nearly fell over and said “but that’s faster than I swim it!!!”

I’m assuming she was shocked that:
A. A person who isn’t stick thin can be sporty
B. a person in their 40’s could our swim someone her age (20’s).

I was a bit pissed off and asked her why she was so surprised? Then she went bright red and mumbled that I didn’t look like a typical swimmer and then continued on with the sale.

I think it’s a pretty shitty attitude and am considering complaining about her lack of professionalism. AIBU?

OP posts:
Heronymous · 10/02/2019 08:47

How bloody rude. Hopefully she’s learned her lesson about being so judgmental - well done for calling her out on it.

Namechangedbecauseiwantto · 10/02/2019 08:47

Yes, she was rude, and unprofessional, but should you complain, no. We all learn from each other all the time, and she's learnt a valuable lesson from you. Give yourself a pat on the back for being awesome, and move on.

brighteyeowl17 · 10/02/2019 08:47

I would complain so someone can have a word about it. People defending this type of behaviour are being ridiculous. It is not for anyone to judge someone based on their appearance. Being young maybe she does need to learn!

CookPassBabtridge · 10/02/2019 08:50

I'm surprised at the reaction here. I'm not bothered by much in life but think she was really rude especially with the "but that's faster than I swim it" Some feedback would help stop her making inappropriate comments again.

Heronymous · 10/02/2019 08:50

It's just the typical younger person's view of overweight people.

Sorry but this is bullshit. Pretty much the entire body positive movement is the work of people under 30, and it is young people who are fighting back against the toxic diet culture and fat shaming of older generations. It wasn’t today’s under 30s who created ‘heroin chic’ in the 90s, for example.

Elfinablender · 10/02/2019 08:52

Some feedback would help stop her making inappropriate comments again.

I disagree, she's either the type of person who learns from an experience like this or the type of person who talks first and thinks later.

PrismGuile · 10/02/2019 08:53

Tbf you're obese. Most obese people aren't incredible swimmers. Leave her alone

HumptyDoo · 10/02/2019 08:54

“She nearly fell over” is just a figurative expression meaning that she seemed extremely surprised, it doesn’t mean she was having trouble standing upright FFS Hmm

Teateaandmoretea · 10/02/2019 08:54

How have you decided the OP is obese?

Doyoumind · 10/02/2019 08:55

That is very fast though. I would have shown surprise at anyone who told me they can do that speed.

PrismGuile · 10/02/2019 08:58

@Teateaandmoretea someone who is a size 16 is obese. I'm sorry if you find that offensive but it is generally true.

cushioncovers · 10/02/2019 08:58

Sounds like she made the classic mistake of judging a book by its cover. Hopefully she will learn not to be so quick to do that next time seeing as you called her out on it.

supersop60 · 10/02/2019 08:58

Prismguile - what do you mean by obese? Ridiculous.
OP - you don't need to complain - the girl will be cringing about that for years to come. There's a similar thread on MN at the moment which is very funny.

Teateaandmoretea · 10/02/2019 08:59

I am within normal weight range at a 14 (even though I'm a 12 actually I know this as I was a 14 post my pregnancies). So I doubt I would be obese at a 16. It rather depends on how tall you are.

Teateaandmoretea · 10/02/2019 09:00

And sorry forgot to say offensive no stupid yes

Lovemusic33 · 10/02/2019 09:02

She was rude and nosey, not good customer service and her age makes no difference. I would be annoyed too. I would have said “don’t worry, I think I will buy a wetsuit somewhere else” and I would have walked out.

OP, I swim at a pool, swimmers come in all different shapes and sizes, I’m probably one of the smaller ones and am no where near the fastest. I wouldn’t assume that good swimmers are young and thin.

PrismGuile · 10/02/2019 09:03

@Teateaandmoretea that is probably true, maybe I am judging too much from my own size but personally anything over 10/11 stone would be a size 12/14 which I think is overweight. I am 9 stone and personally think I am not thin. Everyone is different so I may be assessing from my own weight which may not be fair.

PrismGuile · 10/02/2019 09:12

But tbh, what does a size 16 weigh? 12/13 stone? On a 5'3/4 woman that is obese...I'm not being cruel I'm being truthful. Our country is in denial.

soulrider · 10/02/2019 09:14

I'm surprised you've not encountered this sort of view previously. You must know that's a very good time and typically swimmers doing that sort of time will tend towards the more athletic looking.

The shop assistance was a bit rude but if I was doing 1hr 25 for 5k it would have just amused me.

PerkingFaintly · 10/02/2019 09:15

PrismGuile, have you got to whatever age you are without noticing that people come in different heights?

Or are you in denial about that?

Teateaandmoretea · 10/02/2019 09:16

Just checked on BMI NHS calculator and I have to be 15 stone to be obese. I'd be a lot more than a 16....!

PerkingFaintly · 10/02/2019 09:20

BTW, I weigh less than PrismGuile and buy a 12 or 14 from most shops.

Maybe I'm taller than her.

She may have a pet thing about thinking everyone's obese, but I have a pet thing about people who simply can't imagine that any human on the planet is not a carbon copy of themselves – despite the daily evidence of their own eyes.

It annoys me...

jarhead123 · 10/02/2019 09:25

Rubbish customer service and manners!

YeOldeTrout · 10/02/2019 09:35

I hate threads where someone assumes they can precisely read another person's mind on flimsiest of evidence. On top of that... One person you never met before (probably life-inexperienced & on crap near NMW) & don't need to meet again, what do you care what she thinks? Come on, you won this round hands down. You put her in your place. What's there 2 be mad about?

havingtochangeusernameagain · 10/02/2019 09:39

Yes I agree she was being impertinent. I'd let it go though. No point getting people into trouble - better they work and pay tax than get sacked and claim benefits.

There is a lady who does my local parkrun who is chunky but she can run faster than I can so I don't judge books by their cover. Although I do think she's an even faster runner trying to get out of a chunky body.

As for swimming, there are women at my swimming group who are objectively speaking, fat. Not even chunky. They can swim faster than I can, too.

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