Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at salespersons attitude and view?

130 replies

Nothinglefttochoose · 10/02/2019 07:12

I went to buy a wetsuit today. I am an ocean swimmer and have an event coming up in 2 weeks.

Now I am not a small person but I’m not huge (size 14/16). The assistant asked me if I was training for an triathlon, I said no, that it was an ocean swim.

She then proceeded to ask me what distance and what event. I told her (it’s 5km). She seemed shocked and said “umm have you done it before? , it’s quite a big swim”.

I replied that I had. She then asked me how long it too me and told her I completed the swim in 1hr 25 minutes.

She nearly fell over and said “but that’s faster than I swim it!!!”

I’m assuming she was shocked that:
A. A person who isn’t stick thin can be sporty
B. a person in their 40’s could our swim someone her age (20’s).

I was a bit pissed off and asked her why she was so surprised? Then she went bright red and mumbled that I didn’t look like a typical swimmer and then continued on with the sale.

I think it’s a pretty shitty attitude and am considering complaining about her lack of professionalism. AIBU?

OP posts:
Marchitectmummy · 10/02/2019 08:04

Don't think it's offensive really, I think most would be surprised or your ability given the description, the only difference is she said it rather than thought it.

I think your issue might be within you as to why it offended. I would enjoy your swimming and forget it.

Dhalandchips · 10/02/2019 08:05

You can't judge a book by its cover...I'm a chunky competitive sportsperson too and use that line to offset people when they express surpriseGrin

Notwiththeseknees · 10/02/2019 08:07

Forgot to add, if she'd told me "you don't look like s swimmer" I would have looked her straight in the eye and asked her "what do I look like then? or "what do you mean by that exactly?"

Forgive her her "negging" and you crack on though - you bloody awesome & damn sight faster than my triathlete boyfriend!

billybagpuss · 10/02/2019 08:08

Yeah that is a bloody fast speed, awesome Grin I'm just happy to paddle the distance

MaggieAndHopey · 10/02/2019 08:09

"Mumsnet are a funny bunch sometimes"

This place is so black and white sometimes. I'm not saying what she said was fine, or even OK - I'm saying that she realised her mistake immediately upon your response, and will likely think twice about making such assumptions again. She has already had her comeuppance - making a complaint about her now just looks vindictive.

Teateaandmoretea · 10/02/2019 08:09

She sounds a bit dense tbh. Aren't most swimmers actually quite well built? Rebecca Adlington is hardly a tiny twig is she? Confused. Surely swimming is about strength......

maddening · 10/02/2019 08:11

If a sales staff had embaressed a customer about anything other than weight there would be more replies to support complaining

LL83 · 10/02/2019 08:12

I agree it's annoying. But I think she made an assumption and misspoke. She was suitably embarrassed and hopefully learned from it.

I wouldn't expect manager to do much with the information if you complained.

SerenDippitty · 10/02/2019 08:14

TBH I think if the OP had been a size 8 rugby player buying rugby kit and the assistant had commented that she looked to small to be a rugby player there would be a lot more outrage on here.

Ragnarthe · 10/02/2019 08:14

@maddening so true.
I took exactly the same from this thread.

Original poster
Nothinglefttochoose · 10/02/2019 08:19

Marchitechtmummy, you’re not related to the shop assistant are you? Hmm

OP posts:
MaggieAndHopey · 10/02/2019 08:20

@maddening we have no idea whether the sales person was talking about the OP's weight. The OP assumed she was.

Elfinablender · 10/02/2019 08:22

Ah, she's only young. She probably thought that she was an exceptional swimmer and had some ideas in mind about what she would have to look like to be better which was challenged by your age and shape.

Don't complain. It wasn't great customer service but I don't think you need to make a bigger deal of it.

DoneLikeAKipper · 10/02/2019 08:22

Did she really ‘nearly fall over’ in the shock of what you said? I think this whole conversation is the equivalent of the ‘Mumsnet Look’ - where an innocuous look or chat gets completely blown out of proportion in one person’s head, and they decided they’ve been greatly slighted by (usually) some poor worker who couldn’t give a shite what’s going on in your life.

dayswithaY · 10/02/2019 08:22

You challenged her on her remark, presumably there was an awkward silence and you walked out the shop with your head held high leaving her feeling foolish. Job done. Complaining now would make you look vindictive. She knows she messed up. What would you like to achieve from this - her dismissal? Being sent on a customer service training course? Never gonna happen. You won, enjoy it.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 10/02/2019 08:29

let it go

Bussells · 10/02/2019 08:32

I think you’d (rightly) come across as quite petty if you made a complaint

ushuaiamonamour · 10/02/2019 08:32

Yes indeed, she went bright red and she nearly fell over and then I looked at her and everybody clapped and gave me %100$$.

Leaving aside her sudden bout of vertigo and rush of blood to the head, I'll grant that it's possible that she did say something slightly awkward. Even if that's the case you sound unpleasantly vengeful, OP.

Btw, marathon ocean swimmersones who cross the Channel, e.g.work hard to gain weight: the extra fat provides insulation and increases buoyancy. Doubt that's applicable here--just a bit of Sunday morning trivia.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 10/02/2019 08:33

YANBU. I hate comment passers, especially when im paying tgeir wages.!!
Mumsnet certainly is a funny old world. You never know what way a thread is going to go. You could two threads about the same thing more or less. One will be all for the op. The other will be more against her.

Where did op say she wanted to get this women the sackConfused
All those saying she's only young and starting out ect ect. How do you know that. She could be 20 then again she could be 29.

DoneLikeAKipper · 10/02/2019 08:35

Yes indeed, she went bright red and she nearly fell over and then I looked at her and everybody clapped and gave me %100$$

Exactly how I was imagining it. Definitely ‘and then the whole shop clapped’ scenario’.

WetWipesGoInTheBin · 10/02/2019 08:36

OP no need to complain.

One of thing with being an older sporty person you can break younger people's illusions about age, weight, etc by how you reply to them. The shop assistant won't be making the same comments again incase she meets you or another older faster person in competition who she's served.

@maddening maybe but as an older person a single younger bigoted person is easy to deal with without a formal complaint.

WelcomeToShootingStars · 10/02/2019 08:37

Why was she even making comments in the first place? Did you ask for advice?

I think she was bang out of order, but the way to deal with it is to address it there and then. Putting a complaint in now just seems petty.

WinterWife · 10/02/2019 08:41

I think it all sounded fine till 'but you don't look like a swimmer'
I work in leisure industry and often tell customers what my highest achievement is to compare (mostly kids though).
I wouldn't complain but good for you OP! I'm a sleek size 8 yet I'm the laziest person you could meet and you would easily out swim/run me any day. Good luck in all your future swimming events.

Nomdejeur · 10/02/2019 08:44

I’m 40, all my tattoos are covered in work so I think people see me as boring and mumsy. I ride a very fast motorbike and people are always amazed at that. I get told I don’t look like a biker, I say I do when I’m sat on my bike with my helmet on. It is a bit annoying as I know what they are thinking is “ you’re too old/too boring/ too anything to be a biker”. It does get annoying and I can see where you are coming from but don’t complain. Maybe it’ll teach her a lesson in being presumptive.

Kazzyhoward · 10/02/2019 08:45

It's just the typical younger person's view of overweight people. Did you not know that in their eyes, you're thick, stupid, incapable of climbing stairs, and likely to die of a heart attack in the next 5 minutes if you're not a size 8 anorexic?

I've been overweight all my life, morbidly obese at times (thankfully now a lot less weight for the last decade or so). I regularly see new clients - the younger ones (say 30 and under) form an "opinion" the moment you see them - you can almost see the disgust in their eyes. It can take a good 15-30 minutes to get them back on side when I have to almost prove my worth to them. Older clients don't do it - they're more mature - we can start the meeting business straight away.

Nothing new either. It's not just the "snowflake" generation. It happened when I first started my business 20 years ago. It's one of the reasons I've concentrated on phone/internet/remote clients rather than local face-to-face clients. Clients are so much easier to interact with when you don't have the "elephant in the room"!