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AIBU?

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Original poster

Parents who don't get their children to give up seats!

332 replies

thatsmyspace · 09/02/2019 11:48

Went to the doctors this morning and had a long wait.it was extremely busy as it usually is on a Saturday morning. And I was extremely shocked at the amount of parents that don't make their children give up there seats so others can sit down. An elderly gentleman positioned hisself at the end of a row of seats when right next to him was a child of maybe 4/5 and her mother the other side of her. She didn't even move the child onto her lap and offer the elderly gentleman the seat. A lady that was sitting close by stood up and gave him her chair. Another parent did the exact same thing when a pregnant lady with her toddler came in. She didn't move her child to let the pregnant lady sit down. So I stood up and offered my chair.

This isn't the first time I've encountered this. You see it all the time. Where's is people common courtesy! Maybe it's because I was raised to give up my seat to my elders I just don't understand this rudeness.

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 09/02/2019 15:24

I have my flaws

You don’t say...

But they are courteous to others around them. Isn't good manner and politeness what we all want from our children?

Absolutely. I also want my daughter not to be judgemental of situations she knows nothing about. You know what they say about people who assume...

Eliza9917 · 09/02/2019 15:25

Do ppl think that they are raising good ppl that are considerate of others by not making their children get up for their elders?

At what point do you expect them to get up and offer a seat to a disabled/elderly/pregnant person off their own back?

When are they going to learn that they should do this if you don't teach them to do this when young?

Disgraceful imo.

sweetmarie · 09/02/2019 15:29

@thatsmyspace What exactly do you classify as able bodied?

PCohle · 09/02/2019 15:29

I don't think anyone on this thread has actually said they don't make their kids stand up for people more in need of a seat.

All people have said is that they wouldn't judge someone else for not doing the same, because they have the empathy and awareness of disabilities to know that there may very well be good reason a child or adult is unable to stand.

Empathy and an open mind are qualities I hope to instil in my kids.

Original poster
thatsmyspace · 09/02/2019 15:32

I don't think anyone on this thread has actually said they don't make their kids stand up for people more in need of a seat.

Read through the thread, you'll find loads.

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 09/02/2019 15:32

Empathy and an open mind are qualities I hope to instil in my kids

Absolutely this.

ahaoho · 09/02/2019 15:33

Empathy and an open mind are qualities I hope to instil in my kids.

^ this with big fucking bells on!

Op- take note...

sweetmarie · 09/02/2019 15:33

@thatsmyspace quite shocked at the ignorance at bigoted attitude.
You can watch somebody for 5 minutes in a GP surgery and because they haven't complained of pain, you get to be nosey enough to take it upon yourself to pass judgment on their manners.

It's people like you that make trips out with disabilities very difficult. I'll make sure next time I'm out with dd that we both have jumpers on with our respective disabilities in caps across the front just incase we're not complaining about our pain levels enough and you're sat judging and posting it on the internet that we haven't dared give up our seats and have no manners.

Femaleassassin · 09/02/2019 15:36

Going to the doctors with kids is a miserable experience, it's much easier when your on your own.

Original poster
thatsmyspace · 09/02/2019 15:37

@sweetmarie bringing your kids up the right way is classed as bigoted now..ok 👍🏼

OP posts:
Allyballybeee · 09/02/2019 15:37

AuntieCJ - that’s nonsense.

I would always encourage my child to get up and give a seat to a less able bodied person. But that’s only if I was already standing. If I wasn’t I’d get up myself and let them stay seated. What makes me more entitled to a seat than them? I’m 33 weeks pregnant and would never expect anyone, let alone a child, to get up from their seat as I’m perfectly capable of standing. I have no sense of entitlement, it’s the people who are expecting children to stand that do!

Yabbers · 09/02/2019 15:38

That child would have been mine. She can’t stand or walk unaided and you wouldn’t have been able to tell that just by looking. She can’t sit on my knee as with my shirt legs that’s painful for me to do as my feet don’t touch the floor. That said, where I’m able, she will sit and I will stand if it’s busy. Not everyone can do that though.

Feel free to judge and feel superior for your own actions but you don’t know their circumstances.

Yabbers · 09/02/2019 15:39

short legs!

LaurieMarlow · 09/02/2019 15:39

but why should a normal, able bodied adults right to a seat trump a child's

I totally agree with this.

The attitude that children should give up seats seems to come from a bygone era when children were viewed as second class subjects.

PCohle · 09/02/2019 15:40

Jesus OP that's the second time you've accused me of not having RTFT. For someone who cares so much about manners it is becoming rude.

I don't see many people blithely saying they would never encourage their child to stand for someone more in need of a seat. There are however plenty of people explaining why their children are not in fact "more able to stand" than any random adult.

JacquesHammer · 09/02/2019 15:40

To be honest I’m not sure why all these people were bothering to wait for a GP when the OP is able to diagnose them simply by looking.

Original poster
thatsmyspace · 09/02/2019 15:42

Just to make it clear. I would not EXPECT a child to move from their seat for me. I'm healthy, young and able bodied. But if their parent didn't tell them to move from their seat to let an elder sit down (even if I knew I'd decline because there's nothing wrong with me) Then yes I would judge your parenting!

OP posts:
Yabbers · 09/02/2019 15:42

To be honest I’m not sure why all these people were bothering to wait for a GP when the OP is able to diagnose them simply by looking.
😂😂😂😂

ahaoho · 09/02/2019 15:42

@thatsmyspace the "right way" in your opinion op. Declaring "they was fine" (cringe) when posters mentioned that the children might not be well.

Teaching your kids to be judgemental isn't something to shout about, quite the opposite in fact.

Original poster
thatsmyspace · 09/02/2019 15:43

@Yabbers well yes because I saw her walk in and out. So that's irrelevant.

OP posts:
Yabbers · 09/02/2019 15:44

But if their parent didn't tell them to move from their seat to let an elder sit down (even if I knew I'd decline because there's nothing wrong with me) Then yes I would judge your parenting!
The you’d be told to fuck off.

DD is the most polite, well mannered child you know and always thinks of others. I wouldn’t make her give up her seat because she can’t fucking stand up. So you judge away if that makes you feel good.

Yabbers · 09/02/2019 15:45

well yes because I saw her walk in and out. So that's irrelevant.

You saw her walk so you know she can stand for 20 minutes. Have you heard of hypermobility?

PCohle · 09/02/2019 15:45

OP if you wouldn't take a child up on it, then why would you expect them to make the offer?

Is it because the child might not be able to tell that an elder is "healthy, young and able bodied" just by looking?

Original poster
thatsmyspace · 09/02/2019 15:46

It's common courtesy as a parent to tell your child to move for elders. I thought most people knew this. How wrong was I 😳

OP posts:
MumUnderTheMoon · 09/02/2019 15:47

I've been tutted at by older people for not making my dd give up her seat but she while she doesn't look it she has complex additional needs and low muscle tone all of which makes standing difficult. I'm not saying that some people aren't just ignorant but it isn't always easy to tell

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