To suggest that your career is dead after pushing a baby out your vagina?

[VirginMama]

I really want to get back on the ladder but feel like the perception is that I shouldn’t be considering management roles while my youngest child is still a toddler. How do you get an old fashioned boss with their own prejudice about working mums to ‘lean in’? How did you reignite your career after taking a career break or working part time? Can working mothers ever compete with younger colleagues who have no responsibilities outside of work and are prepared to work all the hours god gives?
Apologies for the choice of words in the subject, deliberately controversial for traffic.

I recovered mine after 3 years as a SAHM by keeping my contacts up, and that gave me an in when it was time to go back.

I agree with pp. mine was contacts too!

It depends on the workplace and the culture.

I agree totally depends on your work place, i got a promotion 2 months after returning from mat leave - its hardwork but can be done!

oh please, I started my career after a 16 year break bringing uo 4 children

A promotion recently came up at work and I spoke to my boss about it, asking if he thought the role would be a good fit. His response “You could do it standing on your head but your children are still so young”. They hired an external person; a man who is 31.

I think parents should share career progression when they have dc.
No parents can't compete with younger people who have no responsibilities and can do extra hours etc.
One parent in a couple can, or can both work pt, but of course you can't give the same when you're a parent unless you have a sahp to provide everything else.
Thats why so many men manage it, women need to find a sahd or on which will support their wives career.

It really depends. Anyone taking a few years out for whatever reason struggles

I had 2 kids. My career didn't suffer. But then I have always had paid childcare, exh took 50% of the responsibility for illness etc. I only ever took 6 months off too.

Most of my peers have kids, as does everyone my senior leadership team and we have an above average amount of female senior leaders.

Confused Beetle - so are you saying it was a walk in the park to return to work after a 16 year break? How old was your youngest when you returned?

And its up to you wether you can manage it or not.

Though I imagine if you are having to take a lot of time off already, it's not going to look good.

Boys and buses - sounds like you work in a school. So do I. But in my school the HT has never had kids and the DHT took 15 year break and thinks mums with children shouldn’t work. Rest of SLT are all young without kids.

Boys and buses - I’m confused about your sentence re time off. I never take time off. DH always stays home with kids on the rare occasion they are unwell as his job is flexible. I think managers think that mums won’t be able to commit the same amount of time to the role that people without children can.

Well mine came out the sun roof so I guess that means I’ll be ok?

I think when you have children something has to give. The only parents I know that have both carried on their careers very successfully (as if they didn't have dc)have had massive amounts of help, mainly from grandparents. In most families I know one parent steps back, reduces hours, compromises their careers etc. I know plenty with older dc who have returned to a career (and done well)but not returned to where they would have been had they never taken time out.

I think it depends on your sector - I am in HE, already a senior manager. I will hopefully be on mat leave soon but intend to return close to full time (roughly 4 days equiv is the plan).
It is very unlikely to have any impact on my progression if I want it. My employer is pretty family friendly and the attitudes you describe just don't exist.

I have seen very part time colleagues lose out of the years as more senior roles don't fit with job share or very reduced hours (e.g those working half time) - but there are no barriers to those returning full time or near to. I would like to see more genuine part time opportunities though.

I am certainly not prepared to take a career break though - I worked hard to get to where I am and am the main earner in our family - so I need to protect what I have. I think it would be hard to get back after a long break.

I think some of it must relate to the type of job also - I don't have a career as such but the higher level / higher paying jobs I used to work in just don't work with having to leave at 5pm to do nursery pick up (before anyone says, I can't afford a nanny and the childminders in my area seem to operate in the same, or more constrained, hours). Perhaps a type of job with more flexibility to pick up thi sh from home would work better.

My career took a hit. It was an area where working part time should have made very little difference in terms of promotion but it did. FT won virtually every time despite ability and experience.

Having said that I was willing to take that hit and stay PT in order to enjoy family life so I guess that was my choice.

Agree that women with children can fly high but need a rock solid support team.

We have a fair amount of women in middle and lower upper management with children BUT they are the ones executing the plans and getting stuff done. There are also none in senior positions and the ones that were there have been pushed out one by one each time is a new twist on the previous removal/departure...

I’ve had two promotions and boosted my salary by £20k since my kids were born so this certainly hasn’t been the case for me.

However I think in the main you’re probably right.

I started my career when I had three young children. Went to uni and got a first when I had three young children. Hasn’t stopped me.

Did you apply for the promotion OP?

If you didn't then YABU, sorry.

Out of your vagina? Do straight out of the belly births count too?

So OP, did you apply for the promotion, or did your boss's words put you off applying? If not, you should've given it a go! If so, that is truly rubbish and I'd make it clear to your boss how pissed off you are.

My team is made up of woman and young children.
In my team it works brilliantly as we all work remotely.
Believe it or not it promotes stability as if you treat correctly with respect they would not want to leave for another job.
I couldn't be without my assistant who has a two and four year old. She works from home full time and looks after her children so doesn't have to fork out childcare. When it gets insanely busy she doesn't mind joining me at the end of a computer in late evenings and I never track her work.
And I do believe that working together has ensured that her salary is very decent.
Absolutely love working with mothers - they just get things done.

I was widowed with two babies still in nappies, so had to get back to my work (hospital doctor) as rapidly as possible. I started back with two days a week, and went full time when my DDs were 4 and 5 years old.
That was 27 years ago, and I'm now retired, but the kids didn't stop me having a career - quite the reverse, I had to provide for them as a single parent!