Why does the mother almost always get the blame?

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I don’t normally have much time for Katie Price, but she seems to be getting a very hard time for putting Harvey into residential care during school time.

None of us can know what he is like in real life, but he seems to have some very challenging additional needs, and she’s looked after him without any input from his father for years. Why are people haranguing and trolling her for making this decision when Dwight Yorke does absolutely fuck-all?

It’s more a rant than an AIBU really; whilst of course there are many men who do their share and more, it seems that so much of the expectation and criticism falls on women. “Babysitting”; “daddy daycare” - this attitude is so old-fashioned

She's not one of my favourite people, but I rather respect the fact that she doesn't hide Harvey away and clearly demonstrates her love for him. It's a hard decision for any parent to make, but at 16 or above it's frequently a very necessary decision, not least to help the child in question attain a degree of independence.

Her mum also has a terminal illness. I feel a lot of sympathy for her.

Incidentally though, I remember Peter Andre making all sorts of grandiose statements about how he would always consider Harvey his son and never abandon him even if he split with KP.

He seems to have buggered off with very little interest in Harvey now.

I do not like KP and usually I roll my eyes when she parades her children’s lives across the media, however what she’s talking about here I think is very important for people to consider. Taking care of your disabled child is hard work, nothing can ever prepare you for it. The obstacles to overcome, the difficulties getting any kind of help or respite, the constant stress.... not to mention when the child in question grows bigger than yourself, coupled with being unpredictable and on top of that, you have other children to consider. I love my son, I do, but I wouldn’t wish my own life on my worst enemy.

Most people who don’t care for a disabled relative have no idea what it’s like. Carers save this country billions every year by stepping up to the plate and taking on everything themselves. No one has any right to judge a parent/parents who hold their hands up after years and say “I can’t do this anymore”.

Completely agree.
If something isn't totally standard in parenting, the Mother will be blamed.
I've had it for years and I'm fucking sick of it.
Who is it who has everything thrown at them, who is there constantly, who does the sleepless nights, who takes the punches.
Yet it's never the father's issue to deal with and if he is absent, well that's the Mother's fault for having a child with him of course.

I have to say after not being a fan at all I think Katie really came across very well in media interviews over the past couple of days. She is struggling with a big boy who has the strength of a man but the mentality of a toddler. I take my hat off to her, she spreads awarenesss and is a super Mum who’s so focused on her kids.
I wish her all the best for the future.

Harvey has Prader Willi syndrome, among other diagnoses, which is why he's so big. I'm no KP fan but she's always looked after Harvey.

The comments in the Mail are hugely supportive

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6673389/Katie-Price-admits-shes-considering-placing-son-residential-care.html

Where IS Dwight Yorke in all this?! KP has looked after Harvey since he was born - her and her mother anyway, and his dad has never been seen.

I remember back when KP and DY were a couple, when I was young and used to read Heat

When she was pregnant he basically called her a cheap slag, made on that she'd been shagging around and denied the baby was his.

Thanks for explaining about his condition and why he has gotten so big.

She's an abysmal mother for failing to respect her children's privacy by taking this shit into the media.

I assume she does it to take control of the story and not to exploit him!

I remember Dwight being vile to Katie too. I remember her saying she wishes the father (of the baby) was Dane Bowers.....

Poor lass.

I think it's the most positive thing she has done lately.

She was struggling with her other children who have no additional needs so coping with Harvey must be harder. It's probably best for them all.

I think Katie's mum helped a lot with Harvey but now she's very ill.
I agree re Andre! That's his kids ' brother.

Give the woman a break. Yes she's been silly but she's done right by Harvey

I am a fan, and I don't feel she parades her children. I feel she's honest to a fault. I think she's a fantastic mother actually.

Is there really a backlash?

Even daily mail comments were pretty supportive.

I don’t like what I know about her and would judge her for some: many of her actions and choices (drink driving, driving without a licence, financial problems that are almost certainly her own making, her issues with men and obsession with marrying) but on the situation with her oldest child I have nothing but admiration for how she’s handled it all. If she needs more support she needs more support.

I have absolutely no idea whatsoever about what sort of parent KP is, seeing as I don't believe everything in the papers and have never met her.

But you're absolutely correct that mothers are held responsible for parenting to a far greater degree than men.

I can't stand her but whatever decisions she's made that I disagree with she loves those kids and she wouldn't make a decision like this unless it was the right one for Harvey and the rest of the immediate family.

I admit that I don't like her much,but I can totally understand why she is doing this. I don't blame her at all.

On a slightly different tangent, how come Harvey has gotten so huge all of a sudden? He looks twice the size he was a year ago

It's a characteristic of Prader-Willi syndrome. Insatiable hunger - and it's extremely difficult for carers to restrict food. Some resort to locks on cupboards and fridges but then there is the meltdown because of the hunger. It must be so difficult.

My own daughter has a similar syndrome but which does not include the hunger as a characteristic. She's around 10 stones and very unsteady on her feet. When she trips and I try to catch her she often takes us both down. I don't blame KP at all for finding somewhere safe for her son. It becomes intolerable, eventually, always being on high alert.

I'm no fan of KP but in this instance I'd do the same.

I won't judge her for it, a family member had to make the same decision and suffers horribly with guilt and poor mental health as a result.

I worked with a slightly younger child that had a similar diagnosis. I would cover for a few hours a day. It was exhausting work.

I'm not a fan of this woman but we don't know what goes on behind closed doors - or maybe we do as she lets the press in at any given opportunity?

She has very difficult circumstances, albeit some of them are of her own making.

I agree with all those saying this is probably one of the most understandable parenting decisions KP has made.

Harvey needs 24/7 care, and Katie does have his siblings to consider and care for too.

I think she should shelve her plans to adopt another baby though! Concentrate on the 5 she already has maybe.

And yes, DY is an absolute tosser with regards to Harvey. KP is virtually bankrupt isn’t she? I hope at the very least he pays towards Harvey’s ongoing care needs. But I suspect he doesn’t!

I agree. KP needs to do whatever she thinks is best for her DS, she had her other dc to consider too. Not the easiest situation for her, but she handles it really well.