To ration milk or not to ration milk

[babycatcher411]

That is the question!

Seeking advice here, as much as whether IABU.

Today at the dinner table it came to head that DP thinks DS drinks way too much milk. He thinks it’s unreasonable and isn’t a cost we should accommodate. He thinks I need to make DS drink something else.

This has mainly come up in discussion because the last 2 food shop periods (we do a big shop every 2 weeks) I’ve had to do a couple of topups of milk mid way.

Usually we buy 3 4pinters, for 2 adults and 1 child (11). Mostly this lasts almost the 2 weeks, sometimes I will buy an extra 4pinter towards the end.

I did point out that I have recently been drinking more milk, because of heartburn (36/40 pregnant) and have started having cereal at breakfast so we are going through it more quickly than we used to.
DP is adamant it’s down to DS consumption, that I should be stricter, that he was told off (and rightly so!!) as a child for drinking too much milk. I said I’m not rationing milk.

I can’t actually seem to find on google how much milk an 11 year old should drink.
I would say normally DS has milk with cereals (maybe 300mls), and a glass of milk in the evening (probably another 300mls). Sometimes he’ll have an extra glass but this is not every day, just as he feels like it.
Is this too much milk?

Tell him there isn't a need for war rations despite what the Brexit preppers will have you believe

Poor dp. I'm on his side I would never allow a child of mine to drink that much milk. We must be from the same culture! He sounds like a good stepfather to me x

@Playdonut why? Genuinely curious , milk is a good source of protein and calcium, semi skimmed or 1% isn't fatty, although young children need the calories from full fat. It's also affordable.
Unless you are vegan and object on ethical grounds

Milk isn’t even expensive, let the boy have as much as he wants.

I'm inclined to think that he just has hangups about certain foods being "expensive" or "luxurious" because it was ingrained in him as a child, rather than him being a horrible stepfather and a massive tight arse.

I'd have a chat with him calmly when your DS isn't around and explain that it bothers you and you never want your DS to feel resented in his own home.

It sounds like your DP is a nice guy who just has a weird childhood issue, but I would keep an eye to make sure it wasn't anything more troubling.

Not a vegan but maybe their propaganda has influenced me a little. It is a bit odd to drink another species breast milk when you think about it. I also heard that its mainly caucasian people who can tolerate drinking large amounts of milk like that. Cooked cheese seems a lot easier on the stomach and a lot more delicious! Fortunately my children don't like milk much so they only have a small amount on their cereal and I'm not tempted to start rationing them. They also have chocolate, cheese and very occasionally ice-cream so hopefully they will get some benefits from dairy consumption if the scientists are right!

The food thing mentioned above is also very true. Ops ds is getting through more milk on his own than many families of 4+. If the dh came from a big family that used less milk than his dss drinks now, I can see why this milk drinking is such a shocking idea to me and him and he would naturally be thinking, I could be saving £100 a year on milk!

I could be wrong and he could be a controlling arsehole but try and explain that milk is fine to drink you can afford it and the health benefits etc etc. If hes a nice guy he will realise dss is healthy on it and its bit what hes used to, but its not actually a big deal.

We buy 3 4 printers a week and I always have a litre of Uht in case I run out that's 2 adults 3 DCs but dc3 is still on the breast and won't drink regular milk.

Very strange thing to say. Milk has huge benefits. Its cheap and better than fizzy drinks. Its been advised to drink more milk after trauma to nails etc and seen huge improvement in general health including the condition of the hair.

I think you have miss calculated your milk consumption.
I'd class us as a low dairy household.
DS1 has a small glass of milk with breakfast, DH has one or 2 (very large!) mugs of tea a day.
Then typically we have pancakes once a week, and I make a white sauce for fish pie or lasagna maybe once month.
That's 4-6 pints a week.

If your son drinks 600ml a day, that's 8 pints over a fortnight.
Are the rest of you only having 4 pints over a fortnight? A pint per adult per week?

They had to ration milk during the war 😂 I mean, lots of shit got rationed. Don't be buying any bags of sugar or pantyhose op! Rationing!

Btw my son doesn't drink milk, doesn't like it unless it's in Milo. Only eats cheese if I hide it in things. Doctor told me to give him calcium tablets as he was concerned about calcium intake.

He thinks it’s unreasonable and isn’t a cost we should accommodate. He thinks I need to make DS drink something else

A cost you should accommodate? The cost of having a child and feeding it you mean? milk is hardly a huge cost even if your child is drinking a lot of it. Tell him to stop being so pathetically tight.

@babycatcher411 we go through 16pints a week.

Cravendale will last two weeks. All those pure filtered ones will, just checked ours bought yesterday and the date is 2nd March.

It’s the best milk ever.

mominatrix - so rather than engaging in a conversation you swear - obviously all that milk has done wonders for your intelligence - keep yourself and your kids guzzling on dear - gives the rest of us a really good chuckle.

We go though loads of milk. My husband, 3yo and I have 12 pints of cows milk and 2 litres of goats milk a week.

Tbh I think buying alternatives ends up expensive, dh tried to cut down as he was having 3 bowls of cereal on a morning but ended up switching to a cooked beak fast which costed way more

Id much rather dd drank milk then loads of fruit juice. I've only ever drank water, milk or tea (not including nights out) and I've got lovely teeth, nearly 30 and no fillings or issues whereas my younger brother drank fruit juice and pop growing up and both have fillings

He needs to deal with his childhood issues before he starts messing up your son’s emotional health. Begrudging your son milk, what a catch!

OP, your latest post doesn't seem to be responding to how your partner is controlling your child. Not even his child. Things will just get worse unless you sort this now.

The cost concern is odd.

Milk lasts ages. I don't pay attention to the date, just smell it. It's easy to tell if its turned.

I can't believe anyone would have an issue with a child drinking milk. How bizarre. I suppose it's like fresh OJ. That used to be a luxury item and now it's commonplace. But DH needs to move with the times.

Milk is not necessary, as proven by the billions of healthy humans who don't drink it. However, for those who have the lactase persistence gene, which DS evidently does, it's very useful as a source of vitamins and calcium. Milk didn't evolve for us, no, but a significant minority of the human race has evolved for it. Therefore if you can drink it and like it, well it makes sense to do so. If you can't and/or don't, no biggie. Too much is potentially bad for you, as with just about everything else humans consume.

I read up until ‘he’s not DS’s biological dad’ and the penny dropped for me I’m afraid. My step-dad was controlling like this when I was a child, he was a real abusive bastard but this was one of the ways he tried to control and belittle me. He would bitch at me for using ‘too much toilet roll’ , whenever the loo roll started running out it would automatically be my fault because I used too much. Also would count biscuits in the pack to make sure I wasn’t ‘stealing’ any .

Please don’t let this continue. Milk isn’t expensive and if your DS enjoys it, so be it. Don’t let your DP ostracise your DS, especially with another baby on the way.

Is he a bit older than you? Or have older than average parents? My father is strange about milk because it was not freely available in his childhood in the post-war years and he tried to ration it in our childhoods as a result.

The good news is that milk may well end up in short supply again soon and all the milk rationers can prove themselves right.

www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/jul/18/dairy-products-may-become-luxuries-after-uk-leaves-eu

I'm interested that only 2 PPs raised the issue of milk in our diets and whether it's appropriate/unnecessary

I was thinking it. I'm truly amazed at the amounts people appear to be drinking. I'm the only one in the family who drinks milk, which I have in tea and occasionally on cereal, and a pint will last me three days. Even when the children were small we had nowhere near the amounts I'm reading on here.