To be annoyed with school for harassing me about the attendance?

[Avigeth]

It's more of a rant than anything else but I still need some insights on this.
DS is 10 and in year 6. He's been enrolled there since year 4 . He does not miss school a lot. In fact, he brought home 4 awards for 100% attendance so far - the last one was for the previous term. In 2 years he missed less than 12 days altogether and that includes this week.
There is a nasty strain of flu making rounds in the area and, despite it not being quite life threatening, it still made him feel really unwell.
I am not the one to leave my kid at home just because he sneezed twice in a row, just the opposite - I did send him to school good few times with just a cold because a) I knew that it wasn't serious and b) - he is actually quite proud of his attendance and enjoys extra treats that come with that i.e. ice-cream or bouncy castle time on Fridays.

Now he's been off since Monday. Each morning I dutifully called the school explaining he's ill and will be staying at home. That was followed by a call from the "attendance officer" asking if he's coming to school and why not. On Monday I patiently explained that his cough is really bad and it makes him chuck every now and then. But then yesterday and today she started demanding a doctor's note. I told her that I didn't take him to the doctors because it's just flu . It's been only 3 days and it's clearly viral, not bacterial, so since antibiotics are not needed I just treat him with OTC meds, just as my GP advised me in the past. DS is much better now and I was planning to send him to school tomorrow as normal, but after the rude phone call and a text I got this morning I really feel like keeping him in until the end of the week ( I most likely won't but I really, really want to).

AIBU to be really annoyed to be a subject of Spanish Inquisition each time I need to inform them about his absence - especially that he missed so very few days compared to other kids in his year? And with the fact that I've been badgered for the GP note 3 days straight even though the Department of Education clearly states that:

Schools should only normally ask parents to provide evidence if they suspect the illness is not genuine and the parent is failing in their legal duty to ensure their child's attendance at school.

Schools are advised not to request medical evidence unnecessarily. Medical evidence should not necessarily be a doctor’s note if the illness was not treated by a doctor at the time. Parents can provide prescriptions, a doctor or hospital appointment card as proof of illness.

I really feel like I'm being called a liar...
I do realise that the school's budget depends mainly on pupils' attendance but in this case it seems to me that they care more about the money than kids' health. I always get annoyed when DS brings plague home just because some parents get bullied into sending their kids to school when they're still clearly contagious...

12 days over two years is quite a lot no?
My ds is y5 and I could count on one hand sick days since reception..

YANBU

I feel your pain - DD3 is still recovering from an acquired brain injury that leaves her very tired - even a year on

School have her pead and neuro consultant letters stating that she needs to rest if exhausted and her GP has written in supporting her recent absences (for a UTI and reaction to anti biotics)

we still get phone calls and rude letter

Vomiting should automatically exclude for 24 hours. We just got reminded that flu requires exclusion for 7 days minimum even if the child feels better. Why on earth are they pushing to have a sick kid bring germs into the school?

It is really annoying.

I must admit i've never had a call from an actual attendance officer but i have been on the receiving end of a few of the ''DCs attendance is less than x %, and if it gets worse the next stage is asking for doc's note' warning letters over the years. (four kids) It's never gone any further than that.

You're right, the school is obliged to chase up attendance. However, for 8 years I worked as a TA and honestly the actual front line staff will tell you the bigger problem is parents who send their poor kids to school when they're clearly not well and then kick up a fuss about being called to come back for them when they're too ill to be in class. It spreads illness and is just rotten for the DCs.

You can only do your best. Ask the attendance officer if she wants to pop round for a cupper to breathe in the germs see your DS for herself. I expect she'll refuse.

YANBU. A friend of mine was continually badgered by her dc's school about poor attendance despite them knowing that the poor kid was actually in hospital.

Purpleartichoke - Vomiting should automatically exclude for 24 hours.

Our school has said 48 hours now.

I have just read your post and you have wrote excatly how i felt last week .My DD is off school at the moment a particularly nasty viral infection gp has said which has completely knocked her for six only difference my DD is at secondary. She was poorly end of last year which was verified by gp so that hit her attendence slightly.
I have been in touch with school keeping them updated and i got a note saying because her attendance had gone below 90% the Education welfare officer would be monitoring ,well i felt like you i was really angry felt like i was also being disbelieved.
I did go into school beginning of this week i took in appt card and updated school and they explained it not because they dont believe they have to because of the law flag up any attendence which drops below 90% because the EWO will look at absence and when they can see evidence of illness they can see there is a valid reason not just that the child is just not attending school ,my DD school only ask for appt card and they happy with that .Once it had been explained i then got it isn't personal at all so yes i do fully get how you feel .School have actually been incredibly supportive .
The doctor will charge for a note so the attendence officer shouldn't really be asking for one , to be honest our gp wouldn't see a child for a virus after 3 days unless your child was really poorly they would give you advice over the phone .
My advice would be perhaps do what i did if you can pop in and have a chat with pastoral and explain that he not been to gp you felt as his parent a drs visit wasn't justified for only 3 days and that should be good enough .The attendance officer was bit quick off the mark i would have been unhappy there too but a chat with school should hopefully clear things up .

I really don't understand the rationale behind this kind of approach.

Surely parents who actually are taking the piss a bit with attendance aren't the kind of people who will be worried about a snooty letter or phone call? And then the parents who are trying to make the right call in good faith are the ones left worrying and feeling anxious that they aren't believed.

I really feel for you. My DS upchucks at everything. If someone is eating a lunch he doesn’t like the smell of, he voms. If someone farts, he voms. If he has too much water or brushes his teeth too hard, he has always been the same since a baby.

But he has to have 2 days off for every incident for disease control. It’s not a disease or contagious, it’s a delicate constitution!

He's brought home 4 awards for 100% attendance. I hardly think he's missing a lot of school.

You can self certify at work for less then 5 days school shouldn't need a sick note for 3 day's. Some schools are getting really silly with this and asking for medical evidence for any sickness.

Are you sure it was an Attendance Officer or just a person who deals with the attendance? I would be really surprised if it was an AO I would just ignore them. Some schools need to adopt the common sense approach

I do realise that the school's budget depends mainly on pupils' attendance

Does it? I've never heard that argument before. Are schools really paid on a pupil-day basis?

12 days may seem like a lot in 2.5 years but 10 of those were due to DS being on antibiotics and that was covered by the note from the GP. The other 2 were a result of food poisoning from dodgy take outs.
Comparing to the other kids at his school it's actually very, very little.

And this is what annoys me most because apparently skipping 3 days makes his attendance 'inadequate'.

I've had the visit from the "Attendance Police" last year when all 3 of us got sick and I failed to deliver the note on the day it was issued. They had one look at all of us and they couldn't get away quick enough. Looks like it's ok for students to be sick but when it comes to the staff it's a completely different story.

If the school is handing out awards for 100% attendance each term, I wonder if they have a major attendance problem.

It doesn't help you OP but the issue is probably other parents. I hope DS feels better soon.

If he’s had this viral cold that I’ve just got over then my god you’ve done the right thing keeping him off. I thought I was dying (no exaggeration) I was so ill.

12 days is not a lot of time off at all.

• 12 days over two years is quite a lot no? My ds is y5 and I could count on one hand sick days since reception..*

Well I would suggest you are very lucky. Some kids have more health problems than others. Ds has missed more than 12 days since September.

I probably should've specified it was just the self-proclaimed attendance officer from the school, not the officials. But still - this is how she introduced herself.

I might be wrong on the attendance affecting budget bit - I admit I only repeated what I've heard without doing my own research. Off to Google I go... >.> :D

Been like this in Scotland for decades, only it's 95%
In 92 I got flu along with 3/4 of my high school (staff and pupils) school was closed down due to the "flu epidemic" .
My mum sent in a month long sick note for me (10 day physically I'll fever up to 104 ) after 2 weeks had ticky officer at the door demanding to see me as they didn't believe the Drs note

Is 12 days off in 2 years a lot? Really?

YANBU OP. This used to piss me off too! It's a piss take.I actually do think they are just pissed off about the school looking bad.

I'm a GP and we hate this crap.

Parents are perfectly capable of determining if their children are well or not well enough to attend school. I do not want to see loads of kids with viral illnesses that the parents are not worried about.

I have an arsey letter I send to the school asking what info they require (that is against the DoE guidelines anyway) in a report and the fee for a private report upfront since this is not NHS work. Weirdly no one has ever taken me up on it.

I think 12 days is quite a lot in 2 years tbh. The longest my DC ever had off in a school year was 5 days and that was for chicken pox. The school didn’t let me forget it either, they made sure to write about it in the end of year report .

Having said that, I hate attendance awards in primary schools and inherently disagree with them simply because I don’t believe you can punish young children for being ill, it’s bizarre.

*Comparing to the other kids in his school it's actually very, very little.
*
Is it a problem with the entire school and they are trying to getting to the bottom of genuine cases and non genuine?

I'm in the same situation! My dc seems to get ill quite a lot but mostly I don't feel the need to waste the Doctors time as I can deal with it myself. We have been to doctors and hospital on last sickness bout but I don't have any appointment cards or evidence ! And I don't want to pay for a doctors letter - how much are they?!

Also I work so it's annoying for me to be off with dc. Don't schools realise we WANT to send our kids in for the free childcare

@Habadabadoo if the school insist on a GP letter ask them to pay the fee. They'll soon back down.