To be annoyed with school for harassing me about the attendance?

[Avigeth]

It's more of a rant than anything else but I still need some insights on this.
DS is 10 and in year 6. He's been enrolled there since year 4 . He does not miss school a lot. In fact, he brought home 4 awards for 100% attendance so far - the last one was for the previous term. In 2 years he missed less than 12 days altogether and that includes this week.
There is a nasty strain of flu making rounds in the area and, despite it not being quite life threatening, it still made him feel really unwell.
I am not the one to leave my kid at home just because he sneezed twice in a row, just the opposite - I did send him to school good few times with just a cold because a) I knew that it wasn't serious and b) - he is actually quite proud of his attendance and enjoys extra treats that come with that i.e. ice-cream or bouncy castle time on Fridays.

Now he's been off since Monday. Each morning I dutifully called the school explaining he's ill and will be staying at home. That was followed by a call from the "attendance officer" asking if he's coming to school and why not. On Monday I patiently explained that his cough is really bad and it makes him chuck every now and then. But then yesterday and today she started demanding a doctor's note. I told her that I didn't take him to the doctors because it's just flu . It's been only 3 days and it's clearly viral, not bacterial, so since antibiotics are not needed I just treat him with OTC meds, just as my GP advised me in the past. DS is much better now and I was planning to send him to school tomorrow as normal, but after the rude phone call and a text I got this morning I really feel like keeping him in until the end of the week ( I most likely won't but I really, really want to).

AIBU to be really annoyed to be a subject of Spanish Inquisition each time I need to inform them about his absence - especially that he missed so very few days compared to other kids in his year? And with the fact that I've been badgered for the GP note 3 days straight even though the Department of Education clearly states that:

Schools should only normally ask parents to provide evidence if they suspect the illness is not genuine and the parent is failing in their legal duty to ensure their child's attendance at school.

Schools are advised not to request medical evidence unnecessarily. Medical evidence should not necessarily be a doctor’s note if the illness was not treated by a doctor at the time. Parents can provide prescriptions, a doctor or hospital appointment card as proof of illness.

I really feel like I'm being called a liar...
I do realise that the school's budget depends mainly on pupils' attendance but in this case it seems to me that they care more about the money than kids' health. I always get annoyed when DS brings plague home just because some parents get bullied into sending their kids to school when they're still clearly contagious...

I had this issue last year; dad was off for a week with tonsillitis, properly bedriddenly ill. School rang and asked for a doctor note so I dragged her to the docs, she confirmed tonsillitis but refused to do a note, told me to tell school that they could request confirmation from her but there would be a fee. I’d be amazed if they took her up on her offer 😂 annoyingly, attendance was mentioned as an issue in dd’s year end school report 😡 she had 6 days off in total. I work in a school and I do understand the pressure the school are under re attendance, but there does need to be a bit of common sense applied.

Dd not dad - his attendance would be shocking, he died in 2010 😱

My daughter has literally no time off OP and like your child has umpteen 100% attendance certificates yet her school is utterly ridiculous.I asked on a different topic entirely if my daughter aged 7 could possibly be excused for 2 hrs they said no! I wrote a polite letter to the head and asked permission to take her out of school on the last day of term for 2 hrs...such a fuss was made and I was told that she would loose her 100% attendance record and be marked as unauthorized absence and a truant mark would be placed against her,I only asked as it was totally an unexpected thing that I needed to remove her,,,they were utter shits to be honest and I was so inscensed by their attitude and how they would punish my daughter who is just 7 urs old for my request,am doing it anyway and they have lost so much support and goodwill from me they can shove it,Seems to me if you are from a troubled family with issues you are ok to please yourself..if you do it politely and respectfully you get shit on from a great height by by being honest and upfront,,,,Maybe suggest the AO directs her energy into those that need it I did and it didnt go down well but it made me feel better!!! I hope your little one gets better soon,,do as you think best and you will be fine.

12 days in 2 years is around 3% absence so not a lot at all.

I'd be pretty pissed off too. As adult employees we can self cert for 7 days and no GP is likely to issue a cert to a child anyway I'd have thought.

I guess it depends on the approach from the attendance officer. A phone call to check on the welfare of the child and to see if there's anything school or parents can do to facilitate the child returning to school as soon as possible is fine. Snooty phone calls after 3 days absence is not fine.

If the school's overall attendance is on the low-side there will be pressure for them to improve. But that doesn't make the aggressive handling of it o.k. You're complying with what's required, which at this point is keeping them informed.

It's probably to do with the up and coming SATS. My DD is in Yr 6 and we all received a letter recently telling us Yr 6 attendance was unacceptable and it would affect the children's SATS results. We have been told that we must not keep the kids home unless there is absolutely no other choice. There are kids in my DD's class who are turning up looking like death warmed up.

12 days over two years is quite a lot no?
My ds is y5 and I could count on one hand sick days since reception..

Bloody hell! There's always one, isn't there??

I would find it hard not to tell them resoundingly to do one.

This is not about your child, or their wellbeing or education. This is about their absence stats, which they will get grief for from Ofsted.

12 days over two years is quite a lot no?

No

Reading some of these posts I thank my lucky stars that my dd has a school management structure with a high degree of common sense. Her attendance is less than 60% and has been for years because of a serious health condition. We never get calls or talk of the welfare officer as they understand it is unavoidable.

@Bigonesmallone3

I'm not really sure. They just seem to be really fixed on attendance - they publish it in the newsletter each week - without a fail.

@racheylee
Again - 12 days in 2.5 years may seem a lot to the lucky people with healthy kids, yes. But whenever DS is prescribed antibiotics (which happened twice so far), it's always covered by a note from GP.
My point is that THIS year, since September, he only missed 3 days and I really don't appreciate being patronised and harassed by the school's staff who speak to me like I'm really stupid. There is really no need to ask me if I have a medical degree after I told them that DS had flu...

@Habadabadoo - exactly. Though this I have caught the plague as well and I'm quite happy to have a couple of days off. >.>

The school are out of order. GPs do not issue certificates in the circumstances you describe, the school is wasting everyone's time and precious appointments.
www.lmc.org.uk/visageimages/Campaigns/GPSoE16/schoolabsencegpsoeaug17.pdf

My ds is y5 I could count on one hand sick days since reception..

Well good for you. Some of us have children with medical conditions.
Dd isn’t off much luckily although she has one.

She had headaches the beginning of last week and was off for 2 days with that. Apparently this happen with some children around puberty, especially girls I imagine. Then the third day I was admitted to hospital and she didn’t get to bed til midnight, still with a headache. Then seizure Sunday afternoon. No school Monday. All pretty unusual for dd, who is off very little.

I called Weds morning and just said if dd didn’t make an appearance she was home with her dad. This is how it should be. I’d be really pissed off in your situation. However I imagine as others have said the school ds attends probably has a problem with attendance. Dds school don’t have attendance awards and most parents are eager to get them to school every day.

My child was off school for weeks due to an injury caused by their negligence.
Strangely I never got a letter from them regarding attendance.

3 days off in one academic year is really not a cause for concern for that child.

Unless the whole school's attendance is shit, based on feckless parents who don't care about education, or affluent parents taking their kids on holiday all the time.

The school has been heavy handed.

I had this a few years ago with my youngest. He had a terrible virus that made him sick quite a lot. Luckily no else caught it at home. He was off for the week. On the Friday I had to go and collect my other child at 2pm from their PGL week away. I parked in the school carpark as I couldn’t leave him and the head came out to discuss his attendance with me. He was throwing up in to a bucket and crying and she was asking me when he would be back!!! I told her when he was better and not before!

12 days over two years really isn't a lot when you consider how many bugs and illnesses go around kids

It's not a competition some kids are unluckier to be unwell more often than others.

Attendance awards etc are crap.

12 days may seem like a lot in 2.5 years but 10 of those were due to DS being on antibiotics and that was covered by the note from the GP.

10 days off for being on antibiotics seems a little OTT. I don't know but as you yourself say, 12 days in 2 years is quite a lot so maybe you are on a 'flagged up' list.

I am a little confused because you say 12 days including this episode of 3 days but you also say 10 of the 12 days were due to some previous antibiotic use and the other 2 were food poisoning. That adds to 12 not including these 3 days you have just missed. So it is 12 days or 15 days in 2 years.

Either way, it's high, especially if it is 10 days due to antibiotics and 2 days food poisoning and now 3 days due to a cold = 15 days

Some children have complex medical conditions. My dc has a mandatory 6 monthly appointment with the pediatrician yearly. So thats 2 days. He has had need for therapy twice in the last 3 yrs, each time 6 sessions each which we have tried to arrange outside of school time, but the therapist doesn't work those hrs so has had to take 3 half days off from school. He has also had surgery twice last yr. All well over twelve days of absence and he hasn't had the flu at all, or colds, tummy bug etc.

School have been very understanding though and he is doing very well academically. Sometimes it just can't be avoided.

Did they really ask you if you had a medical degree? What did you say? “No, do you?” I wonder what they would say to a parent who is a doctor?

Op I completely agree with you. You shouldn’t have to explain symptoms at all it’s none of their business. All this pressure on parents to send sick children to school causes more children to get infected. It’s moronic. Our surgery has a splendid notice now in reception politely asking parents not to ask for medical note for school absence as the parents word should be enough. If your child is ill enough that you judge he should stay home then there is nothing wrong with that, it’s irresponsible to send sick contagious children to school. I’ve even had a conversation with a parent who knowingly sent her 6 year old to school with the runs. Schools need to take much more of a common sense approach and stop badgering parents. I find primary school attitude towards parents at the moment to be highly disrespectful of parents judgement.

Twelve days off in 2.5 years is under one day off every half term. There is no planet on which that is a lot of time off.

out of interest (you don't have to answer this!), why does your DS need to be at home if he's on antibiotics?

And didn't he have the flu vaccine?

It sounds very annoying but I think schools are under a lot of pressure attendance-wise.

12 days over two years is quite a lot no?
err... no it isn't, it's just a couple of flu bugs, or a bug and a couple of sickness bugs. Perhaps some people somehow never catch any of these viruses that go round, some of us aren't so lucky!

I think the school drive on attendance is mandated by government and law, but some do seem to take themselves a bit more seriously than others and fail to apply any common sense.

I rang DD in sick
‘Why is she off’
‘Her asthmas quite bad’
‘Well can’t she come in this afternoon?’
‘Will you have someone to sit with her when she needs medication?
‘No, she needs to be in school’
‘Well the doctors just doing the rounds, perhaps you’d like a word?, Can I give him your medical training details?’
‘Erm....’

So yes they are hitlers