To be annoyed with school for harassing me about the attendance?

[Avigeth]

It's more of a rant than anything else but I still need some insights on this.
DS is 10 and in year 6. He's been enrolled there since year 4 . He does not miss school a lot. In fact, he brought home 4 awards for 100% attendance so far - the last one was for the previous term. In 2 years he missed less than 12 days altogether and that includes this week.
There is a nasty strain of flu making rounds in the area and, despite it not being quite life threatening, it still made him feel really unwell.
I am not the one to leave my kid at home just because he sneezed twice in a row, just the opposite - I did send him to school good few times with just a cold because a) I knew that it wasn't serious and b) - he is actually quite proud of his attendance and enjoys extra treats that come with that i.e. ice-cream or bouncy castle time on Fridays.

Now he's been off since Monday. Each morning I dutifully called the school explaining he's ill and will be staying at home. That was followed by a call from the "attendance officer" asking if he's coming to school and why not. On Monday I patiently explained that his cough is really bad and it makes him chuck every now and then. But then yesterday and today she started demanding a doctor's note. I told her that I didn't take him to the doctors because it's just flu . It's been only 3 days and it's clearly viral, not bacterial, so since antibiotics are not needed I just treat him with OTC meds, just as my GP advised me in the past. DS is much better now and I was planning to send him to school tomorrow as normal, but after the rude phone call and a text I got this morning I really feel like keeping him in until the end of the week ( I most likely won't but I really, really want to).

AIBU to be really annoyed to be a subject of Spanish Inquisition each time I need to inform them about his absence - especially that he missed so very few days compared to other kids in his year? And with the fact that I've been badgered for the GP note 3 days straight even though the Department of Education clearly states that:

Schools should only normally ask parents to provide evidence if they suspect the illness is not genuine and the parent is failing in their legal duty to ensure their child's attendance at school.

Schools are advised not to request medical evidence unnecessarily. Medical evidence should not necessarily be a doctor’s note if the illness was not treated by a doctor at the time. Parents can provide prescriptions, a doctor or hospital appointment card as proof of illness.

I really feel like I'm being called a liar...
I do realise that the school's budget depends mainly on pupils' attendance but in this case it seems to me that they care more about the money than kids' health. I always get annoyed when DS brings plague home just because some parents get bullied into sending their kids to school when they're still clearly contagious...

Ridiculous. You can’t help being ill! I had real flu and wasn’t right for weeks. Surely they don’t want ill kids at school infecting the whole community? I would be snarky right back at them I’m afraid

Our school has said 48 hours now.
Our LA has reduced it from 48 to 24 hours.

DS has been off all week with a virus that has floored him (and me). I've no doubt I'll get a shitty letter. His teacher doesn't want a crying, coughing, exhausted kid whose nose bleeds every time he sneezes to look after. But that seems to be what the SLT believe is in everyone's best interests. Dickheads.

It honestly makes my blood boil, we have had similar. In a primary school which refuses to make children wash their hands before lunch. Vomit bugs, shits bugs just run rampant once they start. Our school had a moan at us. I don’t care if they are “under pressure” for attendance it doesn’t give them the right to put children’s welfare second and pressurise parents to send children in sick. I seriously think it’s coming to something when parents aren’t trusted to ba able to judge wether their children should or shouldnt attend school. Our school has a rediculous attendance fact sheet that someone takes the time to compile and publish on the school messaging system weekly containing a traffic light system of class attendance, late marks for each class and the absolute worst offence... an nhs appointment that was made WITHIN school hours. The horror.

Just ignore them you need the skin of a rhinoceros to be a parent these days but I don’t enter into discussion and put on my medical receptionist voice and hang up on them basically once I’ve said what I need to say

When I was a child I would typically get bad bronchitis at least once every year, missing about a week of school each time. My mother's rule was that if you were sick enough to need to be off, you were sick enough to spend most of the day in bed. We might have actually got dressed and been up for part of the day preceding going back to school after one of these longer illnesses. Often had to have the last couple of days of antibiotics in our school lunchboxes (typically were on 3 or 4x a day ones IIRC).

Several years we were off twice like this. One year it was pneumonia and I was off 2 weeks straight.

I remember about age 14 or 15 realising I'd had a year without getting this ill, it was amazing.

They wouldn’t allow anti biotics in lunch boxes now I’m sure, you can’t even have a twix !

I can't believe the attitude of some of the schools on here. DD has just been off for 8 days with a nasty virus which completely wiped her (and DP and me) out. I did take her to the GP as she normally bounces back quite quickly and the GP told me that it was a particularly nasty flu-like virus.

I've had no problems with the school but our head teacher is a very sensible, pragmatic type of person.

I'm afraid that this obsession with attendance is symptomatic of how strict adherence to procedures has now overriden the use of common sense in this country.

Schools are under a lot of pressure if they have less than 95% attendance (school governance clerk here.) It is stupid bullshit, and good Heads and school management teams do their best not to pass it on to parents, but they are often getting chivvied so relentlessly that they have to start demonstrating that they are 'committed to improving attendance.'
And of course this sort of pressure actually makes things worse, because harassed parents send sick DC into class and the bugs go round and round and round and attendance deteriorates further... It's yet another example of how the education system, at government level, is being mainly run by wankers who hate children and are obsessed with instilling absolute compliance - just like this fetish for old-fashioned, expensive uniform and the fixation on testing and monitoring...

God, I feel your pain! Your poor son. My now almost 12yr old used to pick up every bloody thing going during Primary School as well as suffering from viral induced asthma - well, Winters were one big lottery of 'will he have croup this week or just a double ear infection?' I only ever kept him home when he was genuinely too poorly to function or contagious & used to get arsey letters all the time - the joke of it was that I worked there at the time!! I followed every procedure, provided GP letters when required, paediatrician appt cards, etc & even had a 1:1 mtg with the Head, but STILL they sent them?? It angered me beyond belief at times. A LOT of his illnesses were down to twatty, irresponsible parents dumping their kids in school when they were really poorly & contagious. It wouldn't even have been so bad if he struggled academically but he was in the top 10 of his year group across all subjects & NEVER missed a piece of homework - even when ill, I'd read with him & make him do work when he was able. Sod the school - you do what's best for your lad. X

If a child is off for 3/4/5 days in a row and parent is ringing in daily and it's something viral that's doing the rounds the schools should exercise common sense.

The children to target (or families/parents etc) are the ones who have a day off here and there.

Any sickness etc will usually get 3-4 days off due to 48 hr rule.
Tonsillitis etc isn't treated with antibiotics for first few days so so usually it's a 5 day thing as it wipes children out.
Any fever requires time off because of treating it. (Fevers usually hang around 2-3 days).

It's all ofsted crap. I had to go to an attendence meeting this week. The school know my girl's issues. We are working through various things with the school senco and doctors etc. But because her attendence dipped below the certain % they had to do the meeting, fill out the form, get me to sign it and all that so it can be filed away for ofsted to look at and see how the school deal with attendence. It is good that schools are checking up - no one wants an abused child to slip under a radar but most of it - the %s, the forms, the doctors notes - is for ofsted.
I was told all this by our excellent deputy head.

Reanimated - brilliantly summed up.

@sollyfromsurrey - sorry for being unclear - the notes were for 5 days each indeed. There were also teacher training days falling within the period DS was off ill so they didn't count as the actual absence. I meant 12 days of actual absence recorded by school.

@RiverTam - because he was in a pretty bad shape and that combined with the horse-strength antibiotics made him weak and therefore bed bound.

@CallingDannyBoy - I told them that I don't need a degree to know if my son is fit to last 6 hours at school or not. Now they are in for a treat because DH is dropping DS to school tomorrow and he absolutely hates when I get bullied. He's pretty livid. There might be casualties.

Two things:

• schools are in an impossible situation because OfSted (bless their hearts) can downgrade the school on attendance alone.
• rewarding children for good attendance is fundamentally wrong - so, you get a reward for not having been unlucky enough to fall ill - what rubbish is this?

If the school absence officer asked me if I had a medical degree over my assessment of whether DS was well enough to go into to school or not I’d say yes (I haven’t).

Fucking cheek

12 days over two years is quite a lot no?
My ds is y5 and I could count on one hand sick days since reception

No its not quite a lot. Children are human beings not robots and therefore get ill. You have obviously been lucky that your DS is hardly off sick. That can change.

You appear to be happy when DC is on the right side of excessive attendance monitoring, but dislike it when he's on the other side. That seems hypocritical to me.

Personally, I think neither should happen. Kids get genuinely ill sometimes. They shouldn't be either rewarded or sanctioned for something totally outside their control.

I am not an expert here but in my previous school. I went on a course and schools check attendance because of their duty to Safe Guard children. Its a strong indicator if there is a problem. Its procedure.

'Self proclaimed' - it is literally her job.

There have been roughly 97 school days since September 3rd.

With 3 days off already this term, his attendance has dropped to 94/97 x 100 = 97%. Another two days off gives 94/100 = 94%.

It's calculated from part of last year (May, I think) which, if it includes ten days off, could change the percentage to

50 days from May 2018 - end of term.
94 days this year

144 school days

13 days as of the call

Attendance = 131 days or 131/144 x 100 = 90.97%

If you keep him off for the rest of the week, the figures will be

131/146 x 100 = 89.72%

That's why the woman whose job it is to monitor attendance is has been in contact. He's quite possibly been out of school for the equivalent of three weeks already.

You are not being unreasonable to keep him off if he is sick but 12 days absence is a lot at that age and the calculation above shows you why the attendence radar has been triggered.

Additionally, if your OH starts shouting the odds about you being bullied, he'll make a right tit of himself in public.

97% from September 3rd isn't a bad thing. But under 90% since last May is a whole different matter that they have to act upon.

Oh we get this so much. It’s pathetic.
I’ve been told we need to improve the attendance level 🤔

I’m quite likely to tell them where to go next time. I’m not a bloody wizard. I can’t influence health any more than I can influence time, or the weather ffs
I think actually schools need to stop this nonsense over illness (and I’m our case disabilities/long term conditions). It’s out of parents control

@BasinHaircut - this is exactly why I got mad in the first place. Not because they keep calling me after I've explained what was going on. I understand - it's their job - but being rude and nasty about it is really uncalled for.

It is not fair on GPs to expect them to see children who need to be home but don't need a doctor. Last year I worked for a CCG and we formally advised the local schools GPs would not see children just for attendance reasons as they did not have the capacity to be attendance checkers.