AIBU to think that people are becoming too sensitive

[Whyisareallthenamestaken]

Just that really.
I feel like people have become so sensitive that we are expected to constantly watch what we say and even how we say/phrase it.

I don’t like telling lies and would rather give my candid opinion, but I’m always stuck between being truthful and risking hurting people’s feelings, or lying and telling them what I think they want to hear.

I would rather you tell me the truth just as it is without sugar coating it, but no one seems to do that anymore these days.

Seems like it’s now considered RUDE to be truthful.

I’ve got some scenarios to use as example but they will be in the comments..

Amen.

Well, are you being rude? You can be both truthful and rude.

It's better to give the examples in your OP, rather that assuming people will comment, and tease it out of you.

Some people are bloody rude, those ‘telling it like it is’ people.

But YANBU to think people are very sensitive about anything and everything. But maybe some people always likes to make everything into a big drama? There has always been mortally offended people.

There's a way to be truthful and direct without carelessly hurting people's feelings, and being tactless or harsh for the sake of total bare honesty is often not the best way to go about things.

That said, I do agree with you that a lot of people are quick to take offence and to assign blame, and if we gave each other the benefit of the doubt a bit more, life would probably be a little bit easier for all of us!

There's a difference between your opinion and the truth - one should be universally agreed by everyone, and one will vary.
But it's a bit of a 'how long is a piece of string' question - depends on the context.
Sometimes people who pride themselves on telling it how it is are crass and rude. they accuse other people of being 'too sensitive' when it could be argued they are totally insensitive and unempathetic.

'Do you think this dress suits me?' when a riend is trying it on in a shop - I'd give an honest opinion.
'Does this dress suit me' when someone is just going out on a date and hasn;t got time to change, i'd say it suited them whether IMO it did or not. I don't think I am the queen of fashion and always correct, and I wouldn't make someone feel shit when they can't do anything about changing it.

Mmm depends what you mean I guess. Some people volunteer information (opinion) without being asked and by that I mean a negative comment. There's literally no need. It was so rude. So I'd say it depends what you mean

I couldn't agree more, understatement of the year.

A typical example - A close friend of mine is currently pregnant and has been obviously eating constantly which is expected of a pregnant woman. But she's already added a lot of weight which she will probably struggle to loose after the pregnancy and she might keep adding by the look of it if she carries on. We can't say anything to her because we don't want her to get hurt. She's constantly asking questions about what we think (that's if we think she's added) and we all kinda just avoid the question. I playfully suggested she go on the scale if she's that bothered. She just keeps asking even though it's very obvious and I can't think of a better way to tell her to without hurting her feelings. We all just tell her what she wants to hear and I feel like that's not being truthful.

I call Bingo on the first post to mention the “snowflake generation”.

Some people are just plain rude but the best way to think is "how would I like this said to me" if you wouldn't don't say it or you may be called out on it

Are you one of those people who "tell it like it is" and "Are only being honest"?

Why don't you ask her why she keeps asking? Is it bothering her? does she secretly think she is putting on too much weight? Why is that a concern for her? Is your endgame to MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS THE TRUTH or help her to understand herself and be a sounding board?

Your example about your pregnant friend is completely irrelevant to your original post, though. It would only make sense if she asked repeatedly, you'd told her she'd put on a lot of weight, and she went on the attack and screamed at you for being rude, or cried for a week and went on sick leave.

But you haven't told her what you think, so so don't know how she'd respond. I don't see why you are blaming her for oversensitivity, far less blaming the world at large for over-sensitivity.

How many more comments before we get another exciting example?

She's constantly asking questions about what we think (that's if we think she's added) and we all kinda just avoid the question.

What is she actually constantly asking you? Actual words I mean.

We tell white lies every day, it’s how we have civilised. Like it or or not sometimes it’s better to not give an honest opinion if you believe that is likely to offend someone or hurt their feelings as you run the risk of them ditching you as a friend, even if you seek to qualify your comment with a “no disrespect..” or “not being funny or anything, but...” you are being mean and you know it. You really have to weigh up if your opinion is as groundbreaking or important as you believe it to be to risk ruining someone’s day and a friendship.
Often your opinion really isn’t that important to merit it. No disrespect

Another scenario - A friend had a big fall out with her childcare provider. I feel like she's to blame and no matter how much she twists the story in her favour, I personally think she's like 98% to blame for the outcome. Everyone just listen and act like she's in the right when it's obvious she isn't because we all know how sensitive she is. She stopped speaking to me because I simply said I would have done exactly what the childcare provider did. That was my candid opinion but I guess I could have just lied and played along with the others.

Snowflake. runs away from SinisterBumFacedCat

You can be truthful and be sensitive - the too aren't mutually exclusive! Yes people seem to want to be mollycoddled these days but there's a happy medium!

Why don't you just tell her to ask her midwife ?
I'm getting on a bit, but over the last year a few people have asked me for advice about babies, and I always say they need to get current advice.

Right, so basically you want to be rude but can’t? Obviously anyone who behaves the way your friends do is unreasonable to get upset by a rude response but that doesn’t make bring truthful any less rude. If you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything is the phrase.

Sorry I didn't put the scenarios in my OP as I don't what the post to be about the scenarios and I also don't like very lengthy OP.
@holidayshopping, I feel like its the same question phrased in many different ways e.g 'Do you think I've added' ' It's just the pregnancy making me look huge right" she kinda thinks every additional weight she gains is the baby's weight and she will be having a really huge baby.

The real scenario that brough about the OP is that I wear prescription glasses and I have one with really dark shades which I leave in the car for driving as I find them more effective with bright lights. Sometimes I forget to switch glasses when I leave the car so I just carry on with my day in very dark shades until someone says something, or I come across a mirror. A few days back, I went with my BF to his family home and I didn't realise that I had this dark shade on all the time I was there until back in the car on the way home when I caught a glimpse in the mirror. I felt really bad and couldn't help but wonder why no one said anything. His excuse was that he thought I wore them intentionally ro avoid eye contacts. As for the rest of the family, they just assumed that I was either very rude or blind. I had to text and ring his mum to apologise. But I still wished someone said something.

I think it’s a balancing act really.

I don’t like it when people say “I’m
Just being honest” or “I call a spade a spade” when they are just being nasty but you can be truthful and not be a dick about it.

I like to think of myself as caring and liberal but I do think there are some who are very over sensitive though (of all generations - not just picking on millennials)

But the scenario with your glasses is completely irrelevant to ‘sensitivity’. Unless you’re suggesting your boyfriend and his family think you’re so over-sensitive that you’d have gone into hysterics if someone had dared to ask why you were wearing dark glasses? That sounds as if you’re blaming other people for your own absent-mindedness.

Likewise the childminder. Whatever the fallout is has already happened, and most people aren’t that interested in other people’s childcare problems — they’re just nodding and thinking about their dinner, not terrified to disagree because of someone’s sensitivity.